Thursday, February 9, 2006

No School For Me

im home sick. yesterday i went to the doctor. i have a sinus infection and allergies. im on three diff. kinds of meds and a nose spray. this sucks. except im watching the Addams family movies. i love those movies. you know how people wanted to run away and join the Brady Bunch? i wanted to run away and join the Addams family. my ass-hole sister comes home from school and tells me she wants on the computer. i just got on. i didnt feel well enough to get on earlier. "You've had all day" she yells at me. i hate her. she's selfish, always. i was gone just like her yesterday and she calls the computer when we get home. okay, fine. but shes on from about 4pm to about 8pm. and even then dad had to kick her off for me. i didnt complain or ask to get on either. i figured shed get off on her own. nope. and then she kept telling me to go to her myspace page. like i give a damn about her myspace page (that i had to get for her and teach her how to fix up). why would i care about a pink page that goes on and on about how much she loves her best friend and her boyfriend? i dont. shes so full of herself. --Wings-- Sorry, no vid today. Just watch the one in the last post.

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Sunday, February 5, 2006

This Vid

I found this cool vid and wanted to put it up here. Other than that, there isn't much to say. It's a DNAngel vid called Break Me.

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I Still Hate It Here, But, Now Onto Something Different

First off, I'm still pissed. Second, I really think I'm sick. I had a fever last night and today. My teeth hurt too [braces]. It's 1:11 am right now, and my parents still aren't back. My dad left for work at 8am Saturday morning, and was supposed to get home around 7pm. Mom said [around 5:something pm] that she would just go pick him up. They still aren't back yet, and they haven't called or anything. That pisses me off. FullMetal Alchemist was soooo awesome! Oh...*drools* I want Ed...and Roy...and Havoc...and Scar...and Envy...*shivers in delight* I have most of the prologue written for my story. I'll put up a link so you can all go read it later. And every month I plan on making a special update saying that there is another chapter up. Because it is my goal to write at least one chapter every month. It seems like an attainable goal to me. Since I never finish any of my stories, except the short stories I have to write for my CW class, I am determined to finish this one. And it's going to be a book rather than a short story. You're going to read it? Excellent! I read a SCRYED fanfic earlier. It was an X-Rated one between Mimori K. and Ryuho T. It was really well written, first off, and it was sooo hott. It was a His and Her Fantasy thing, and in his fantasy, he was rough and controlling...it was so hott...*drools thinking about it* Ryoho is so hott. So is Kazuma...*cringes in delight* You know, I used to write X-Rated fics for my friends...I was pretty damn good at it too, despite my virginity...Wonder if I still have any talent... I had a dream tuesday night that my older sister Brittany said she was coming home. Then, that night or the next afternoon or something, I get a message from her in my MySpace inbox. She tells me that she is coming home. I was freaked out. I don't really want her to come home either. I love her and all [most of the time anyway] but she can be annoying. She's often more like a mother trying to be a best friend than a sister trying to be a sister. I mean, she practically raised me and Whitney [my younger sister] and even Braxton although he was spoiled by mom and dad [he's my younger brother], and sometimes she slips back into that motherly...thing. I dont need another fucking mom, I need a sister who isn't a friend one minute and seems to forget about me the next. I don't need it. So I want her home, but then I don't. I'm alittle confused. I'm alone. No one cares. No one gives a fucking damn about me, so why should I them, huh? Everyone comes to me with their problems, their secrets. Who can I trust to do that with? No one. Everyone expects me to care about them, but they don't care about me. That's fucked up. I wish I could leave and never have to see any of these people again. Just start over with a new life, with nothing to tie me to this place and my past what-so-ever. Maybe in my next post I'll tell everyone why I'm so fucked up. But then again, you don't really care do you? Well fuck you. I need you. I don't need anyone. I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. ...go fuck yourself... --Wings-- The Vid:

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Saturday, February 4, 2006

I. . . .

I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT HERE! i hate it here... --Wings-- Another vid...

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Wednesday, February 1, 2006

The Updates That NoOne Reads

the short story i was writing for CW class is finished. hopefully ill get it back so that i can post it up here, or somewhere else with a link to it here. or something like that. atleast one person expressed interest in reading it. myspace is being a bitch again. its pissing me off. i think im going to kill it... i found some really cool anime vids. not youtube ones either. i may be posting links or something to them...i dunno yet... ...i dont remember if i mentioned this, so im going to say it here. the vid/song from Thrice called Image of the Invisible has inspired me to write a story. not a measely little 3-5 page short story, but an actual book i suppose you could call it. i will be posting a link here so that all of you can go and read it. PLEASE read it and tell me what you think! its very important to my future! its going to be good too. i even wrote an outline which is something i never do, so you know im serious... okay, i guess im done... --Wings-- i told you! anyway, heres another vid. its fucking hilarious!

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Friday, January 27, 2006

BULLSHIT

...the story for CW class is coming along okay. i actually like this one, alittle at least. it's been easier to write than most. but im pissed cuz myspace isnt letting me log on. thats annoying. im reading a book called The Butterfly Revolution by William Butler. and ive discovered a new band--which i am listening to as i write this--called Thrice. they're really good, in my opinion. though some may disagree... im bored as hell, and im supposed to be grounded from the computer...haha...thats funny... i think i have a job lined up. the grocery store is about to re-open in my town, i just gotta fill out an application. i had better get the job too, cuz we all know i need the money to "support my party habits"...what a load of bullshit. im cold... oh yeah...i think im going to put up a link somewhere to my account on FictionPress.com. then you can read all the pretty little (a.k.a. shitty) poems i have written. short stories coming soon... sooooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooorrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeddddddddddd............. i found a girl on myspace who would be perfect for me...perfect...but the bitch wont let me log-in to add her! DAMN them all!... i think im done for now... --Wings-- HERE IS ANOTHER VID! IT'S BY THRICE!! this will probably become ritualistic...

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Monday, January 23, 2006

CW Class

We have to write a ethical/moralistic short story for CW (<--Creative Writing) class to be handed in in 4 days. If we didn't think we could write one, then we were supposed to write a story where a major decision/event changes the character or reveals the character's true nature in some way. Goddamn. I'm not that good at writing, but I definately can't write moral stories. I don't think. Should I post it on here once I'm done with it and let you guys see if it's any good or not? And if you're not brutally honest with me about it, I'll fucking CASTRATE you. Or if you're a girl, do something equally devious. --Wings-- ANOTHER VID!

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

.................

i hate this. i cant wait until i leave this hell whole. i think im getting a part-time job soon so that i can start saving up. just two years and i can leave. i need to get to work on that... --Wings--

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Monday, January 16, 2006

. . . .ranting. . . .

okay, im bored. theres nothing to do. and i got yelled at yesterday for stuff that wasnt my fault and that i could do nothing about. that kinda sucked you know? bullshit. everything is bullshit. i want to leave. i should leave. but im only 16. can i stick it out for a couple more years? plus, i would kinda need friends to stay with. or my own place. how could i afford my own place fresh outta high school? or maybe even in high school still? simple. i couldnt. damn it. damn it to hell. i dont like it here. this may just drive me back to cutting. did you know i used to cut? probably not. damn i need a smoke. and a drink. i need a good party. but there arent any here. and my parents would probably find out if i went. someone else found i that im bi this week. and shes kind of a big mouth. not good. not good because this could get around to my papa[<--retired preacher]. if that happens, my immediate family just may disown me. wait. that would solve my problems huh? well, maybe. because they could send me to that christian home for girls. then i really would be forced to run away. damn. this fucking blows. do you know what i discovered? im pretty good at drawing hentai. its weird. i bet i could collaborate with some of my friends and draw/write a hentai comic with their help. hahaha...does that me weird? or perverted? or disgusting? hahaha...am i even making sense? sometimes i think no one hears me. which is ironic because technically you dont. because youre reading my words, not hearing them. you dont know what i look like, sound like, smell like... they only thing you know is what i tell you. scary thought huh? especially since what i tell you doesnt paint a very good picture of me to begin with. hahaha... --Wings-- i cant resist puting up this vid. are you like me? i doubt it. hahaha...

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Monday, January 9, 2006

Update for the Holidays and the start of School...

Okay, my visit to NYC was great. I had alot of fun. I'm not real sure how my mom is doing, but I think she's pretty much okay. She didn't tell me anything, and to be honest, I don't want to ask. I'm kinda one of those "if I ignore it, it doesn't exist" type of people sometimes. Beyond this, I guess I don't really know what else to say. I got back home on Thursday morning at about 1:30-2:00 in the a.m. so I was pretty tired. I was still supposed to get up and go to school, but they couldn't make me wake up, so I didn't go. Anyway, I get back to school, and they really didn't want us to slack off it seems. I have homework coming out my ass, I swear--okay, I may have exagerrated alittle...but not much. For Creative Writing class, I was supposed to write a complete short story over a childhood memory over the weekend. The rest of the class will have had atleast 4-4 1/2 days to write theirs. She wants me to write mine in just two days and have it ready to type up and turn in by the end of Monday's class period. I haven't even started. I can't remember anything from my childhood, and I don't really want too. Why the hell do you think I'm fucked up now? I have a reason I blocked that shit out. I'm just going to have to make up a reasonable memory and write about it. Its the only thing I can do. GODDAMN IT TO THE DEPTHS OF THE FUCKING SEVEN HELLS! THIS SHIT PISSES ME OFF! I think I feel better now. *sigh* I don't think i can write this. Whatever I turn in--that is IF I turn anything in--it's going to be shit; my worst work ever. Oh yeah, we have this new girl, Tammy(Tammi)(Tammie) in my CW class now. I think she went to our school before, but I could be wrong. I'm about to completely redo my page. Probably with all Samurai Champloo stuff. FLCL has been up here awhile and I'm getting bored with it. Anyway...I guess I'm going to go now. --Wings-- I couldn't resist putting up this song. It's "Nowhere Kids" by Smile Empty Soul. I love that band and I love this song.

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