Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Animation from Gpetz.com

Animation from Gpetz.com

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Arg, terns out Step can't come to the metalica concert. She was half way through convincing her mom when her dad said no and convined her mom otherwise. Something about us doing something that has to do with sex, drugs or alcohol. And personal experiance on his part to know that we might get stoned. Uhhh...okay...yeah...ummmm...I don't see myself getting stoned just for going to a concert but owell. I wonder who else to ask? Besides that Nicole/Shain/donna are convinced that I'm pissed off at them when I'm realy not. (Okay this is gonna have spoilers for ceres so if you don't whant to know them stop reading.) Nicole managed to get the dvd of the last 3 episodes from a friend. Its much later in the series then I know about cause I've only read the manga up to volume 8. So, yesterday she comes up to me and goes Aya's pregnet. I'm sitting here like what why did you tell me this. She says she's mad at her friend for telling her this and can't beleive she spoiled the ending for her. So, I said something like yes nicole but why did you tell me that when it spoil it for me. She then something about making me suffer with her. It kinda annoyed me but I didn't say anything else. I get to school this morning and walk up right as nicole is telling shaina that she watched the movie and toya died. Toya died! What, that realy does ruin the whole thing. I wasn't upsett though cause they didn't relize that I was behind them. Then Shaina when she saw me started listing all the people who do die and Michelle gets there. Both of us say we don't whant to hear it and walk away. I was realy annoyed but I wasn't mad. I didn't come back though cause we met Step and whent to the library. I have health with shaina 2nd period and she asked me if something was wrong I said no cause it realy wasn't. At lunch Nicole suddenly started out wiht a bunch of I swear it wasn't my faults andI didn't do anything and ect. ect. I was sitting there like waite whats the matter. Then told her I wasn't mad but I didn't whant to hear the ending. Then told Donna I wasn't mad at her just because she was sitting with them. So on and so forth. I just think its interesting that something that doesn't bother me to much (though I still wish I didn't hear the ending) is the thing that makes eveyone think I'm furious at them for and that things that do bother me no one seems to notice.
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Today was rather boring. I forgot to wake up Travy this morning so he slept in and missed school. Had an interesting conversation with one of my friends Shaina. We were talking and the fact that she had a speech came up and she said that she was doing it on wildlife protection (shes very interested in animals). Shaina said that her teacher said her class could do it on anything as long as it wasn't abortion or gay rights cause both those topics were too conterversial. I'll write down our conversation as best I can. We both have oposing view points on being gay and the fact that we could talk about it and such was...I felt like I understood were she was coming from more.
Me-If you could of done your speech on gay marriage or abortion would you
Shaina-Yes
Me-Realy witch one and what would you say
Shaina-being gay and how its sick and twisted
Me-Why
Shaina-You don't think being gay is sick and twisted
Me-no why would it be
Shaina-You don't think two guys or girls kissing isn't sick and twisted
Me-no more than a guy and a girl kissing, whats the difference
Shaina-Its unatural
Me-why
Shaina-it is
Me-why
Shaina-god says its wrong the bible says its wrong
Me-he does? the bible wasn't written by god it was written by people and your assuming that what they say is what god would say and assuming there is a god
Shaina-you don't beleive in god
Me-I don't know if I do
Shaina-you can't be on the fence you either beleive in him or you don't
Me-Why do I have to beleive in him
Shaina-are you saying you don't
Me-I'm saying I don't know
Shaina-do you have faith in him
Me-I don't know
Shaina-(loudly) you don't beleive in god your going strate to hell (I realy hope she wasn't to serious about that I don't like the idea of my friends thinking I'm going to hell)
Letesha (who was sitting right next to us)-You don't beleive in god
Me-I didn't say that, anyway shaina why would I go strate to hell for not knowing if there is a god but you won't
Shaina-because I beleive in him
Me-but that can't be enough assuming hell exist who says your not going for beleiving being gay is sick and twisted
Shaina-because it says so in the bible
Me-what about all the other religouns out there that don't beleive in god as you see him
Shaina-But they do beleive in him in some form and thats what matters it doesn't matter whos the closest as long as you beleive
Me-what about polythesisum were you beleive in more than one god
Shaina-thats still beleiving in god in some form
Me-I can see how that would be true

I was about to ask her what about religouns were it was considered okay to be gay (can't think of any off the top of my head but I'm sure there has to be a few). Or I was going to ask what about one of her favorite teachers who happens to be gay. I was wondering is she considered him sick and twisted. God and morals...man thats some heavy stuff to talk about at 8 30 in the morning huh. Though it got me thinking of were I get my morals and beleifs from. When it comes to morals religoun has never factored in highly cuase like I said a few posts ago I'm not from the most religous family. My sister has helped shape them alot, I think even more than my parents. Her friends too. Besides that I can't realy figure out were mine did come from. I've been surprised how many of my friends though site religoun as the reason they beleive in one thing or another or why there torn on an issue. I don't know just something to think about.

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Monday, September 27, 2004

Wow, I don't have anything realy to say. Thats kinda weird. Figure I'll just keep typing and come out with my longest post yet. Lets see...this week I'm staying with James cause mom is on a buissness trip to China and Jen is off doing testing for her work. I could stay with dad but there is no way I'm getting up at 4 30 just so I can get here to catch my bus. Ummm..thats it. My shortest post in awile well by.
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Sunday, September 26, 2004

Today I had to go to the mall with my dad and brother to look for winter coats. It took me all of five minutes to find one but dad insisted on walking around the entire mall to seee if there was anything better. Witch took forever cause its huge. I don't like it so much because its so big and impersonal. Some good did come of going though cause while rav and dad were looking in one store I whent to the bookstore and got the 8th pet shop of horrors book. I'm typing now at margerite's house and am suposed to be doing homework aka an exuse to be anti social so I better start that now.
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Saturday, September 25, 2004

I'm back from my first time ever in a church. Okay that sounds weird but my familys not realy religous. Meaning we celebrate christmass as an exuse to get/give each other gifts and thats about it. Margerite, my dad's girlfriend, was having a fun raisor thing at her church so we had to go. I was kinda annoyed cause it ment I didn't get to stay at Kevin's house longer (i was hanging out with him and ben today) but whatever. It was kinda a listen to music and by coffee for charity thing. The music wasn't bad...but it put me to sleep and I had just drunk about 64 ounces of coke (kevin ben and I whent to a movie and they have rediculus drink sizes) so thats saying something. I was ready to leave after the first 10 minutes but we stayed for about 2 or 3 hours. The church itself was pretty cool. Parts were realy old and interesting looking. It was also huge so it would be easy to get lost. Met a bunch of Margerites friends too there. They were all pretty nice and before I new I volenteared to help sell food. Though I didn't realy do much. Ummm...we probably would of left earlyer but the last band was country and reminded dad of his roots. He's from Oklahoma/texas and enjoys showing it off sometimes. Whenever we talk about the area he suddenly developes a rather pronounced southern draw. Its realy funny sence he hasn't lived there in 25 years. Somethimes when we disagree hill go aww you yankees all think the same. When I remind him he's lived here longer than I have (sence before I was born) and that tecnically marlyand's below the masen dixon line. Though its a weird state when trying to put it into a catagorie. Ummm...sory if I sound all over the place right now but I'm between tired from the fund raisor thing and hyper from the coke, that I've been drinking practicaly nonstop all day, and such so I can't realy think that straite.
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Friday, September 24, 2004

English
Today in English I had to give my improv speech. Basicaly on random days throught the quarter she picks peoples names out of a hat and a subject and you have to talk about it for a minutet and a half. The subjects were written by our class. Four people whent to day and as luck would have it one was me. I kinda thought it might though cause even though we were picked "randomly" we sat next to each other (someone not shuffel the paper with the names on it). The first girl who whent was lucky she had to talk about whats better the movie titanic or gladiator. The was the girl who had to explain the smily face drawn on her card. Then me. My luck was to get why is the world round. I was sitting there thinking how should I know how am I going to talk about this for a minute. When I got up there I said something about gravity attracting particles together but I'm not exactly sure what. I was trying to not to laugh the whole time because of how stupid I must of sounded and such but I think some people thought I was attempting not to cry cause of how my voice was. Umm...then was the guy who got whats better chicken or stake. Michelle also gave her speech today in her class. She had to talk about who has it easyer girls or boys. She said something about girls thinking guys have it easyer and guys thinking girls do. Another girl had to talk about the importance of education and Herif had the advantages of having an evil hand. At least I don't have to do another one of these and you have to admitt they are realy funny. Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to say for the speech I have monday. I don't supose any of you have have any idea of a spiritual, emotionel, or phsical journey I've been latley or possible if I'm an expert an anything or maybe I have something I can share the signifigance of. She gave us those choices cause she want'ed us to be confident about the info and concentrate on the delivery. I'm glad cause speeches don't make me to to nervouse and I don't have trouble making I contact or anything.

Health
Yet another movie in health. Did they stop making school movies in the 80s I don't think I have seen any past that time period. This one was actualy rather sad though. It was about teen sucide and depression. A true storie about this one guys best friend, horrible acting, but it still gave you a kinda distrured empty feeling. Especialy at the end. His friend drove his car of a cliff into a cannon and it showed skidd marks like he tryed to stop at the last secound.

Halls
The halls can get so crowed between classes. Two things about this. First, why do people insist on making out in the middle of the hallway. All they do is block trafic and have people run into them. I don't even mind them making out in the hallway I just wish they'd do it maybe in an alcove by a door or in a corner were people aren't trying to walk. Or worse two people try to walk while making out. At least 4 or 5 couples this week alone ran into me. Secound, there a certain places you just try to avoid betweeen classes cause there so crowed. You know what I'm talking about, especialy were two halls intersect were you just feel like your ging to be trampled. Well I have to go through one of those to get to chem from english. Its realy annoying cause there are so many people and other people have a habbit of just stopping in the middle and talking or as I said making out, ect ect. The only way to get through is to push through. Well I was going through today and there was a random girl standing in the midle of intersection. I was trying to make it through and she turns around and tells me to stop pushing her. I mumble something about being sorry but honestly I was thinking something like I'm not pushing you. More like falling on top of you cause all those 20 people behind me are falling on top of me cause people are pushing them. Couldn't she I don't know maybe move so that people would get by.
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Thursday, September 23, 2004

Spanish
"... el club de anime."
In spanish we were seeing what verbs could go in sentances and that was one of them. I just thought it was interesting she was talking about an anime club.

Health
I never thought health would be this entertaining. Today we had pairs and had to act out skits on ways people deal with emotions. This first to guys were doing regression witch is basicaly throwing a tempter tantrum. One was a teacher at a desk and the other was a student who whent to talk to him about him having a low greade. He pretended to get realy mad at the teacher person whe said he never paid attention and only made fun of the anger managment movie from the 80's (hmmm sounds familar). The student started yelling then took a water bottle full of water and hit him on the head hard. It didn't hurt him but made a very loud sound and the entire class jumped. Then it was Shaina and my turn. We were rather bad and spent alot of time walking around each other me cause my part called for walking and I only had a bout 10 feet of room her cause she was nervous. After that was the guy who had to walk out of the classroom but started to skip and decided to go all the way down the hall that started many chessy hey, he's skipping class jokes. The last group was letishas. She was with some guy and a bunch of people in one corner of the room started making having a little fun and ewww what are you doing there comments when they set up the seen. Being that they were in the guys room and it was morning. After that we got bio dots that are basicaly mood rings that stick to your hand and are suposed to show you how you feel. Right now mines blue so that means I'm calm. Were suposed to record the color every half hour to 5 30.

NSL
When I came into NSL this morning there was a video playing. It took me awile to relize what it was sence it was a tv show and I don't watch it. Law And Order, why you would watch that in a goverment class is beyond me. We didn't see it though when Ms. Jaffe came in she rewound it and put it away. Her only other class is law so I guess it was for them. This is realy making me whant to take law though cause there watching movies like every other day.

Metalica
Jenny got tickets to a Metalica conert awile ago as an early birthday present for me and the concerts in October. She got four tickets but there are only 3 of us (me, her, and James)so she asked me if I knew anyone who would whant to go. Well the concerts on a sunday so we won't be get back till late. I know plenty of people who whant to go but none that have parents that would let them stay out that late on sunday. Well I know steph realy likes them so I figured I ask today just in case by sum miracle she could come. She was practicaly squealing with delight at the idea and said she would do anything to make her parents let her come. I realy hope she can.
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Okay ones again I have alot on my mind so this is going to be another long post. I'll break it up into sections so if you get bored with my rantings on something another you'll know when I'll start talking about something else.

English
English was pretty funny today. Were in the speech unit and have spent the last few days analyizing Arnold Swartzenagers speech at the republican nationel convention. So, today our teacher gave us out the rubric for our impromtue speeches that everyones going to have to do at some point during the quarter. She also had us write more cards out on what various people would have to talk about like movies, music, whats better, ect. She was sorting the ones that she would keep and wouldn't and someone got curious and asked her what where on the cards she wouldn't keep. So, she read a few of them alowd. One of them had the name of a guy in our class and another had something like medical marijuana, stuff like that. It was funny at the time. She then asked us what some of our teachers did that made them good speakers or not but not too say there names because she didn't whant to turn this into out and out bashing. This of course turned into basicaly a game of guess that teacher. With someone saying my teacher jumps up on desks, dances, and referces to herself in third person, and then someone else saying is it Ms. Gonzules and then the first person saying thats right. Good guess. Or anther time someone said my teacher always mummbles to himself, never expains anything. Then someone else asking is that Mr. Hanely. And my teacher seems like there a realy good teacher but acts scared of us and never looks us in the eyes... This whent on for awile to our teacher asked us if there was anything good we could say about someone. Witch was fallowed by silence. She asked again and again no one spoke.

NSL
Witch by the way stands for nationel state and local goverment in case you've been reading my posts and wondering what i was talking about every time i wrote nsl. We watched a video today from 1984. It was a simulation of the nationel goverment, president in particualar who whanted to interfear with the states rights to dictating education were they are. Witch of course is realy funny now because of no child left behind. Every thing they said was rather ironic. Though whan the pres said one of his reasons was that both russia and the japannesee was better educating I was sitting there like yep this is most defently from the 80's. The opening line was something like our simulation today takes place in the not to dictent future when the president is attempting to tell the states how to...I wonder if 20 years was considered the not to distant future. It was also rather obviously bias towards not having the president do such a thing.

Online Grades
This is sorta kinda not realy related to my post from yesterday. There going to start putting our grades online and then sending our parents passwords in the mail (not very trusting is the school huh) in order to see them. They'll give us passwords too. I understand why there doing it and I don't partcualy mind my parents seeing my grades. I tell them them anyway so its not like theres any surprise but it still bothers me. Its the whole trust and privacy thing. That fact that my parents can know everything. Its like a few months ago my mom put a parental thing on my brother's aol account cause she thought he was spending to much time on the intnet. It shows her were he goes and for how long. She acidently put one on mine too and said she would get rid of it but decided she like knowing what I was doing. Witch is stupid seeing how I don't have to sighn on to use the internet and don't anymore basicaly because she did that. Its not that I go to sights she wouldn't aprove of its just I don't like the idea of her knowing everything I do and go. Same with when I'm reading. I think part of my family probably thinks I look up porn cause when ever they look over my shoulder I change screens. Its just I don't like people seeing what I'm doing exactly and what I'm reading so I just turn it to something they see me on all the time so they won't get too interested. Does that make any sence?

Spanish
I ment to say this awile ago but kept on forgetting. A few days ago in spanish we had a quiz on verbs. It was realy funny cause half the answers were listed on a poster on her filing cabnet. Probably only me and 4 or 5 other people could see it but it was still rather funny.

Lunch
Okay how to start with this. I think I said this before but sometimes I feel more like my friends mother than there friend. Good example I see Shaina and Nicole this morning first thing out of Nicoles mouth was she stole my chocolete and ate it. Followed by Shaina with a smug I'm not even trying to hide it look on her face and smacking her lips said she made me eat it. Right Shaina rigtht. So anyway at lunch I was sitting with Shaina, Donna, Nicole, Michelle, and Step. Michelle whent to the library (we eat right outside it) so I was with everyone else. I spent most of the time doing my math homework or helping Steph with hers a little. When I relize that Nicole, Donna, and Shaina are making fun of the girl again, I don't realy whant to use her name don't know why but I don't whant to refer to her as the girl so lets call her kate. I should probably explain Kate is a little weird. She's a freshmen so on the first day of school she asked if she could sit with us sence she didn't know anyone. We of course said sure. She's kind of annoying to be around and pissed Nicole of because she "ruined" her ceres volume. Honestly she dropped a few crumbs in it and bent a few pages slightly it wasn't that big of a deal. She didn't particualy win anyone over but everyone still acted nice well at least in front of her. Behind her back everyone kept on going of about how she does this and this and then just plain making fun of her. Making fun of stuff she said like she was best friends with the principal and stuff. I hate, I apolutly hate talking behind peoples backs. It realy realy bothers me so I did my best to stick up for her sence she couldn't do it herself. Asking alot wether it was better to be annoying unpuposfuly or to purposfully make fun of someone when they weren't around. That shut everyone up for awile and got me a few I can't tell you anythings you make me feel horrible about what I think comments from my friends. But I managed to stop them from pulling any pranks on her or such. So, she was sitting with us and Donna and Shaina got a little carried away and were making fun of her too her face. Not realy badly I don't even think they ment to I hadn't even reilized they were yet but anyway Kate got realy mad and threatned to pour jello all over shaina. So I quickly stood between the two of them and tryed to settle them both down. Then low and behold one of the random guideness councelors showed up and asked if everything was alright. Kate said shaina was making fun of her. Shaina said something about laughing with donna about something that had nothing to do wiht kate. Later Shaina was like in shock saying I can't beleive she told on me I can't beleive it. I haven't been told on sence fourth grade. Its kinda an unspoken rule you know not to tell on people. Well I felt horrible but Kate stoped sitting with us and I didn't see her so I let it drop. Well back to the present today she was sitting with a group of people right next to us at lunch. Suposedly she had been eating with them for awile and they had always been near us at lunch I just never noticed. witch wouldn't surprise me cause I don't notic alot. Well today they were right next to us. Kate was behind the recicling can between us and donna nicole and shaina started making fun of her. I told them to stop but they didn't and they started making fun of a guy with her too who donna had beaten at a game somewere. Eventualy they started throughing food at her. I hadn't been paying much atention but when I relized they were I thought about asking them what the hell they thought they were doing but instead just kept on trying to change the subject or settle them down or something. Its sounds overly rightchess and like I thought I was above them or something but I didn't know what else to do. Steph was also kinda shocked at how they were acting. I was not in the best mood I mean at the moment I'm sick and I didn't sleep well last night and I'm sick of being everyones concenes so after awile I just whanted to get away from there. I would of stayed and stuck up for Kate if she was alone but she was with like 10 people so I figured she'd be fine. Steph jumped at the chance to get out of there too so we got our stuff and said we were taking a walk. Poor unfortanite Michelle chose that moment to come out of the library. Steph told her to come with us but she was confused so we just left and walked around for awile. After a bit we both said that we felt bad for what amounted to deserting Michelle so we whent back to get her figuring if she whanted to leave she would come with us. When we got back they were settling down well acting different anyway. Nicole had stoped making fun of Kate cause she said that one of the girls eating with her told her she was mildly retarted and she shouldn't do that. First off, why exactly does that matter? Is it okay to make fun of some people and not others? Secound, you had to have someone say that. I mean you might not know Kate's retarted but it doesn't take a genous to figure out she isn't god I hate using this word "normal". I know thats not right to say but its the olnly way I can thing of describing that now. Donna also looked like she felt bad after being told this. Michelle was in the process of stopping Shaina from singing she's special she's special loudly. On the bus ride home Michelle filled me in on what happened after I ditched. Though I did make sure to apoligize several times for leaving her there alone to try and stop Shaina, Donna, and Nicole. She said it was alright that basicaly while I was gone they had kept on going at her and gave kate the nickname jizzing (if you don't know what that means don't ask) and such. I also told Michelle not to ask what that means she looked kinda confused.She said That the group that Kate was with now that she was super nice and kept on saying she was the only one not making fun of kate. I joked that she was taking over my job and such. She then said that donna said something about throughing food at that group again tommarow. Kate and the group she was sitting with did apsoultly nothing to provoke us nothing. Thats just wrong and I'm not sure what I'm going to do tommarow if they start that up again but I'm not going to abandon Michelle and I'm not going to not stand up for kate either. If feel realy bad now for who I acted and not standing up for her or michelle. I'm just sick of being the one who has to say think about this or this. It sounds realy self promoting when I write it down but I swear thats not true. I'm also sick of being inconsistant and sometimes solving problems and somethimes just leaving like I did today. Though you think that they'd take the hint when I walk of without saying anything after disagreaing with someone over something. I don't normaly do that just when I'm in a bad mood or not feeling well. Last time was the day my dog was put down. I don't even think realy thinks that. She didn't even seem to notice. Arg, I know what my friends are doing isn't right but theres not exactly alot I can do. This kinda sucks. I mean, this sounds like I'm making exuses for them but I swear this is how I realy see it, I don't think they relize what there saying. Now I realy do sound like my mom giving me a lecture. Well now that I got all that out I feel much better.
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Erg, guess I was wrong about my teachers not e-mailing my mom. She let it slip when she got home that my english teacher sent her one. She then said my teachers do it all the time and started teasing me with I got a so and so from so and so for the rest of the time. Okay just whanted to say that before I get back to my homework.
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