Monday, August 23, 2004

My mom got mad at me when she got home cause she said I was being sarcastic. I realy wasn't. Figured she was either mad or annoyed with my dad cause she always tends to go after me for the most random things when she is. Later when I made sure to keep any hint of what could be thought of as sarcasim out of my voice and talked to her I found out I was right. Hmmmm...my mom is always after me cause she thinks I don't express my feelings and tend to bottle things up inside. Thats not realy true, were just two different people. Things that bother her don't bother me and we express ourselves differently. She asumes that if she sees something that is upsetting I'll feel the same way and asks me to tell her how I feel. I don't know how to respond because honestly I'm nuetral on the subject and then she says its imposible to be nuetral, that I'm very observent and know whats going on and need to talk to someone. The thing is I don't realy get upset. I might rant alot on this site but thats about it. When something bothers me I write it down, if not here then on paper and I'm fine. Things just don't realy bother me that much. And as for getting angry...there is only two or three people who can actualy get me angrey and surpise there all in my imediate family. When my mom's upset she tend's to be bothered more. This might sound a little cold but its more of an obsevation for me. I don't tend to...its realy hard to explain. Its not even that hard to tell how I'm feeling. If I'm happy I have a huge smile. I can't help it. People tend to make me happy too. I smile when I'm with my friendes or my sister or sometimes depending on how hes acting my brother. Its not like I'm not happy being with my parents and thats why I don't smile around them but its different. Its more I don't know...contentment. That doesn't sound right but something along those lines. If I'm annoyed or frustrated then I frown. I can't help that either I tend to wear my emotions on my face. But like i said its very hard for me to be upset or angry about something and after writhing it down I'm fine.
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