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Birthday
• 1990-12-04
Gender
• Female
Member Since
• 2005-10-22
Real Name
• Shadow

Personal

Anime Fan Since
• I don't really know. Not over four years.
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha, and I'm starting to like Full Metal Alchemist, and trying to get into other anime..
Goals
• My goals are to be a vet, artist, or both.
Hobbies
• Draw, Write, Paint, and watch Inuyasha, Animal Precinct, Emergency Vets,and Animal Cops
Talents
• Drawing Writing singing - I was in advanced chior for 2 years,I also used to write poetry too.Sometimes I seem to know things before they happen.




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myOtaku.com: BNCF Shadow star


Sunday, November 27, 2005

   Before you read this please understand that I am not depressed or troubled, I am just a deep writer at heart. I haven't written since 3rd grade up until now.
Lone Wolf
Author: BNCF Shadow star
Endlessly searching…
My pure and greatest desire is to find my home, apart from all others it shall remain, I am, endlessly searching…
Torn away from them, like paper I burn, burn with anger and despise. They who have pushed me away, let their guilt be felt upon them, as I feel mine! Undeserving of this cruel treatment, this cruel banishment to The Lands With No Names. It is here that my fate has been decided for me, a life of sorrow and regret.

You do not know me, for if you did, you were and are mistaken. I take the form of sorrow and yet, somehow I seem to find peace. When Dawn and Shadow meet, that is when I shall see the Light. Shy you may call me, but invisible I am not. I am simply without feeling, oblivious to the pain I have long-since suffered from the hands of evil beings, from their thoughts and their minds. Torment and grief, they brought to me, but no longer can I sense, feel this threat. You do not know me, for if you did, you may find it seemingly impossible to recollect.

I was once visible to all eyes, the one who always cries. I was once there, as they are now, I once had a soul that could freely express, one that could freely care. In order to understand me, I must first gain your trust, and you mine. Only then shall you, and you alone gain the key to my universe. The one place I’ve been living eternally and for all eternity I shall remain.

Love, is it really there, does it truly exist? If it does, I can’t feel it for I have been neglected, left in the solemn darkness of my mind. So this is where I currently reside, in The Lands With No Names, I am safe here, safe from those who had pushed me, pushed me to the far ends of the earth. I constantly wonder, is there anyone out there, anyone to hear my silent cry? This is where my life ends and where it is new to begin. A single soul has no meaning unless it is discovered by another, those who possess faith and the ability to purify another’s heat are those who may see me. If you can see me, please tell me I’m there, for I cannot feel even the presence of my own being. I have grown weary and numb, my search continues, but to no avail.

Can you hear me? Please someone tell that I’m there, for I cannot feel my fallen heart, I sometimes wonder if it’s even there. A crescent moon descends upon the dreary night sky, descends upon the place I once knew well. Clouds block my visibility, I can no longer rely on my sight. My heat has been crushed, so deeply, so swiftly. Does it still beat? My soul is the only thing that now guides me through that desolate, solemn world. I am a-stray lost and forgotten, my soul beckons to me, beckons to be free! Shall I allow it? I have no desire to release the only thing that still sheds Light to me. Are you trying to hide from me, why do you do so? Why is it that I am feared by you, am I only misunderstood? Clear as the ocean, pure as the clouds that dance across the horizon, you must feel what is left to be false, you must never know, you must and will gaze upon the dim Light.

I shall now show you, take my hand and step into my world, let me guide you to the place where eternity never ends. Do you trust in me? Have faith and I shall show you the way. My home, it is as some would say destroyed, yes and no, it has only been severed from my being. Not sealed away against the others, only for I will it not grant entrance. I, and I alone. My howl, my cry of despair, it lingers on within the hearts of those who have betrayed me. My blood runs as fast as the rain, it races within me now, telling me to follow, to where, I do not know. Yet it persists, drives me ever so closer to the memories that lie within. A shadow has devoured me, I wonder…am I still alive?

Trust, is it possible to re learn, to re gain? If it is, please tell me, I need to know that someone cares, I need to know if their ways have ceased. In my darkest deepest, thoughts, those of which I can re collect my soul. Foreign world, do not shield from me, for I am the Harmless one I cannot bring sorrow to you like you have done me. Lost and afraid, I am not, stolen, yes. I was long ago stolen, stolen from my beating heart. I am not Dark nor am I Light, I wish only to co exist within the two worlds, but this I feel has no possibility. The remnants of what, who I once was have drifted, drifted across me, they are and always will be just out of reach. I grasp what little I have left, the part of myself that has not abandoned me. I grip it, grip it with the thought of losing all I once knew. Time has ceased to exist, has disappeared all together, along with my past.

You still do not know me, for I have not shown to you the secret door in my world, a door which you shall never see, unless I gain you admittance. Lull me to sleep, softly lower me down, for I am the Forgotten one, the one without name. My kin despise me for who I am, the Lone Wolf, that is who I am, who are You? The wilderness has overtaken me, I am dazed by all I discover, someone, hear my cr. Set me free! Do You fear me, if so, you may take your leave, for I have nothing more to confess to You. A dozen tornadoes, one thousand hurricanes, I am slowly eroding; as each day passes a little more of me is washed away. I do not take life for granted, there is much for meaning to existence to that, but not mine. The blood within my veins runs rapid as the silk current of the river, the river that washed away my long forgotten tears. Claws shred at my soul, I cannot let myself be devoured! I will not give in! Fight, it is what I must do in order to survive, for I am, merely only a cast away. Darkness closes in on me, I know it is near, save me from who I’ve become! A nightmare is summoned, a fright realized, I am wishing it gone, but to no prevail. In the soft glistening snow I slumber, I am within it, safe from them.

My guardian has arrived to rescue me, and so now, I must depart. As I take my leave I keep you entranced, for I can hear your thoughts before you speak them. Do you so wish to follow me, if so, I apologize but I cannot permit you entry through the secret door. It is indeed the one and only place to which my heart can be restored, the one place my soul can rest from all troubles past. All is behind me now, the Light of which I speak has finally discovered a way to my deepest depths, the deepest depths of my soul. Triumph is not a reward, but instead the ultimate sacrifice. In order to gain the key to my once undiscovered, untouched universe, You must first prove your worthiness. Steal away from yourself your triumph! Let all glory and pride cease! Find my key, and unlock my wall, my universe. I advise You now to turn away, go back from which You came. I do not need Your presence any longer, leave at once!

Guilt, is that what I now feel? How can I feel it if all my senses are destroyed, how then, please tell me. I have done many selfish acts, many of which I can never forget, many of which I’ll always regret. Rain falls as swift as my tears, I thought I could no longer cry, feel emotion, is this false as well? Light, I see Light in Your heart! Please take me with You, take me to the realm of which You reside! My sorrows have lifted, my pain gone, come Light and show me the path of which I seek, my home. Like a solitary mountain I exist in this world, my world, as the eagle soars so then do I. My place in society once un clear, is newfound! Almost there, I can feel my presence, my heart that is sounding a steady rhythm, I can see once again. Clouds that have once blocked my view have dissipated.

In my new found feelings I can’t help but wonder, have they changed their devious ways? If I try to return to them, the pack I once knew, will I be accepted? Or am I to forever remain as dust blowing in the wind, a mere cast away? My soul is driving me forward, I know I belong somewhere, I am not sure if it is here, this place of desolate dreams. The dreams that I once held close to my heart have escaped, though I feel they are still nearby. To The Lands With No Names I was long ago banished, ever since then trust was not an option. To trust another meant to turn your back on yourself, to render your being defenseless. I have found that I can trust You, however I am unable to be entirely sure, it pains me so to see You go. Howling a desperate cry, that is how You are to leave me, do not abandon Your power of Light, it is a necessity to Your being. Faith in Yourself, You must keep, harness the power within. Dance underneath the full moon as I do, let Yourself become free, become one with me! Do not hide Your sorrows, for they are what hold You down, this I have learned.

Let Your mind be captivated, we are approaching the Link, the link that hides within my universe, the one that keeps me hidden. I am the Lone Wolf, I am the Solitude! Listen, hear Your heart, hear mine, they are the same. We are no different from one another! Paint with me the colors of the sky, the blues, whites and purples, call out to me that all is forgotten, the past, present and future. I have returned from the brink of extinction. I have come to join the pack, to be like the others. Stare at me, why do You do so? Are You still frightened of me? Tell me this isn’t so! I wish to return to reality, to their realm, show me the path to the Light. Lucid is the Light, Dark is my universe, I must now destroy it, I must come back to life! Flashes of Light dance across the yonder , waiting to capture, to entrance me. Not yet, my deed is not done, I am unable to unlock the Link that lies deep within my soul, therefore, I shall send You away. Goodbye, I know now why You were sent to me, to guide me was Your purpose, of which Your attempts have failed, I’m sorry.

Endlessly searching… Will I find my way? Without Your Light, I am devoured by the Shadows, they have taken my back to my universe, I fear to reappear in Your realm, I am amongst mine, and there I shall remain. No being has ever entered here, for it is strictly forbidden, shallow is my heart. Once more, I cry into the long night, the Shadows, the Light, to which do I belong? I belong to neither, I am Twilight. I am able to co exist within the two realms of life, this I now see. You have set me free! The two realms have connected, a bridge formed there, in midst of my realm and theirs. I am cautious to crossing it, fear envelopes me, I trust them not. I give in, I let go of the bridge, and forever fall. I am still falling, descending, to where I do not know, but still falling. There is no one here safe myself, I am alone once more, am I deceased?

Taken away before I could learn to love, to trust. They who have betrayed me, they who have destroyed me. I used to be like them, I was only different in their eyes. I do not belong here, this is not my home! I shall forever be in doubt, for now I see, there can be no home for me. I am the solitary, I am the silence, I am the Lone Wolf…endlessly searching…
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