Thursday, January 31, 2008

Now For a Real Post.
not really, i only have like 8 minutes.

ok so today has been okay.

although i found out that im supposed to be put in a guided study hall, and to do that i have to be taken out of my art class. which sucks, so im going to try and get out of it. wish me luck.

-_-

um...

its snowing outside. i think im going to try walking home if i cant get on Justine and Sammys bus.

*grins*

Oh, heres some random news, i cant move my left arm. well i can but it REALLY hurts. like right at the elbow joint thingy. and my left wrist is also hurting today.

T-T

Hm, one last thing. im going to be trying something new the next few days so nobody be offended by it ok. although you guys probably wont even notice what it is im going to be doing differently.

so yeah.

random pic and i go.



i love this guy.

yes i said love and guy in the same sentence.

the world is now going to self destruct.

BYE
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Drivers
I have free right now, and im to scared to try and go into the mac room so im alone in the library.

T-T

me is such a wimp.

*sigh*

well ill probably post again during lunch so...

bye, i guess.
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

   Kill Me Now. . . Please.

T-T

every inch of my body hurts right now, inside and out.

*cries*

yeah, so thats why i didnt go to school today. if anyone even noticed that i wasnt there.

i also didnt sleep very well. (obviously)

but it wasnt just because of the pain, i had a bad dream and couldnt fall back asleep. i think it was the first time i had ever woken up crying.

i wont give you the boring details.

so yeah, i probably only got like 5 hours of sleep.

Z_Z

Now for what i did today. i played with my chaos(Duh) and i did some reading.

and thats it.

i had mac and cheese for lunch. not that it matters.

........................

heeheehee, dots.

yeah i'll stop wasting your time now and go.

T-T


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Monday, January 28, 2008

Yoga?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

*wipes tears away*

sorry, i had to get that out of my system.

*sigh*

Okay, so today in gym i had my first day of yoga.

now eveyone just take i minute to picture that...

pffft

Hahaha, i couldnt stop laughing. it was so funny, and i felt so stupid.

*blushes*

but yeah, it wasnt to bad cause i dont know anyone in my class and theres a few other fat girls too. (sorry fat girls)

but yeah, it was actually a pretty good workout, you have to have a lot of stamina. (by the way i have NO stamina, just like my choa)

*nods*

yes, its sad.

anyways, today was pretty boring, justine wasnt at school so i called her and stuff and Karina said i was being a stalker. but im not, i swear.

*cries*

T-T

rachel said it was just because i care, so im going with what she said.

*shakes head in shame*

. . .

Hm, what else.

i started a new story thingy. (although i only have a few lines down and it already sucks) and get this, its a straight pairing.

*grins*

i was reading this one book and thought these two people would make a good pairing so... yeah.

it will be a first for me.

Um, i think thats it.

me will go and find lyrics now.

Oh yeah, i saw this girl today that i thouhgt was really cute.

^_^

and i really liked her hair, it was layered short and then long underneath. (does that make sense)

but yeah, i think the only reason why i noticed her is because im kinda horny today.

*nods and blushes*

T-T

i also noticed that my consumer ed teacher has really big boobs.

o_o

hahaha.

today was a weird day indeed.

anyways, back to lyric searching.

*10 minutes later*

heres a good but kinda old song.

"My Paper Heart"

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Tears fall, down your face
The taste, is something new
Something that
I know moving on is,
Easiest when I am around you.

So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
A year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for her
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I prefer

So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
A year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Summer time, the nights are so long
The leaves fall down,
and so do I into the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me

Summer time, the nights they are so long
The leaves fall down,
and so do I into the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me

Yay all american rejects. maybe i will put up another one.

*thinks*

ok dont take this next song to seriously okay, i just like it.

...

"Girl Of My Dreams"

Beautiful you are
Yeah, you I choose
I look to the stars
For a girl like you
And what I lost I have found
And, yeah, we'll wait around
For the girl that is you
Yeah

Maybe a chance
I could have with her
We shared a glance
At least I thought we were
And what I have lost I have found
And, yeah, we'll wait around
For the girl that is you
Yeah

You make my heart skip, but how?
I'm scared
What do I do now

I wanna go out
I'm stuck here all alone
I gotta get out
I'm here all alone
And I'm thinking of you
You're on my mind
I try to talk to you
But you never give me the time of day

I dream of us
And wake up alone
We'll take the bus
But I'm still at home
And what I've done I'll do
And then it's just me and you
And then you leave in May

You leave me hard and lonely
You are my one and only

I wanna go out
I'm stuck here all alone
I gotta get out
I'm here all alone
And I'm thinking of you
You're on my mind
I try to talk to you
But you never give me the time of day

Do - do do do - do do do - do do do do do [x2]

You are
Such and beautiful thing
And all goods things must come to an end
You are
Such and beautiful thing
And all goods things must come to an end
It's the end - It's the end - It's the end for you
It's the end - It's the end - It's the end for you
It's the end - It's the end - It's the end for you
It's the end - It's the end

I wanna go out
I'm stuck here all alone
I gotta get out
I'm here all alone
And I'm thinking of you
You're on my mind
I try to talk to you
But you never never never never

I wanna go out
I'm stuck here all alone
I gotta get out
I'm here all alone
And I'm thinking of you
You're on my mind
I try to talk to you
But you never give me the time of day

Do - do do do - do do do - do do do do do [x9]

. . .

one other thing that i just remembered, i got a PM from a random guy the other day. he said he was bored and horny. lol. idk, i just thought it was funny so i told him i was sorry he was bored and horny. and yeah, we PMed each other a few other times and then he said goodnight and said he'd PM me tomorrow. but he never did.

is it weird that that made me sad?

o_o

yeah.

and on that note i leave.

bye-bye
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Sunday, January 27, 2008

Chaos Are My Life
Okay, so all i did today and yesterday was play that damn sonic game.

my little black chao's stats, (that i named Apanda) are all at 99. stamina is still only at like 58 or something though.

anyways, it sucks cause he cant get any stronger. and ive won all the races and the karate stuff.

. . .

Oh, he also did the whole mating thing today, where the flowers grow around him and stuff (i call it "going into heat) ^_^ and i was like REALLY excited for him and everything and i was trying to find someone to mate with him but nobody would. i felt so bad for the little guy. i mean he just sat there with a little heart over his head all cute looking and i kept putting other chaos by him but they all just walked away.

T-T

and yeah, i kinda made him to be like me i guess. i mean hes all black, (with purple bear ears, paws and feet, and silver and purple wings.) hes kinda stupid, and he trips a lot. so i felt really bad for him so i just picked the little guy up and rocked him for a while.

-__-

yeah.

thats the only news i have.

lyrics and pics and i'll go.

"You And Me"

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

i heard this song on the radio today.

completely random.

sorry.





sorry they're both kinda sad. im still kinda down cause the whole choa thing.

T-T

i should be back to normal tomorrow.

bye-bye
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Saturday, January 26, 2008

This pic is GREAT!


Bunny!

*wipes tears*

sorry, i had to show you guys.

hey still read my other post okay.

bye-bye
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Friday, January 25, 2008

Friday (im pretty sure ive already used this opening before)
Okay so today is friday.

Yay!

i've noticed that lately i've been really sad at school but over all i'm pretty good at home.

so yeah, me is happy about the weekend, although i'm also kinda dreading it.

sorry if that doesn't make sense.

-__-

Um, i think i've read all the manga books in the library. And my mom won't buy me any new books.

T-T

so me is bored.

and im kinda getting tired of the sonic game. ive raised my one black chao's stats so there all in the 70's. (stamina is still in the 30's though)

Uh, right now im PMing fluffy. shes sitting at a different computer and we dont feel like moving to sit closer to each other.

Hahaha, we're so lazy.

. . .

Oh, i drove today for the first time in a long time. my stupid mom wouldnt let me drive until i was back in my drivers class.

and yeah, i drove with the sub and i ran a stop sign. i don't even know why, i just zoned out. the radio was talking about some pregnancy test thing and i just started thinking about it i guess and then the teacher yelled at me to stop. it was weird. i've never done that before, i'm always on edge when i'm driving so it just really threw me off.

*nods*

we also drove by aimees old house, and that got me thinking about old times and stuff.

*sigh*

i really should just let go shouldn't i.

its never going to be the same.

yeah.

i think thats what im going to try for.

. . .

oh before i forget, i saw a new maroon 5 music video this morning. and this was the song.

"Won't Go Home Without You"

I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen
She left before I had the chance to say
Oh
The words that would mend the things that were broken
But now it's far too late, she's gone away

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

The taste of your breath, I'll never get over
The noises that you made kept me awake
Oh
The weight of things that remaind unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us everyday

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

Of all the things I felt but never really shown
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go
I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you

and yeah it made no fucking sense at all. the whole song hes walking to go find this girl and then at the end when he finds her shes with some other guy and he stands there for a while and then he just walks away.

WHAT THE HELL, the whole song is about not going home without you and he ended up going home without her.

*raises fist in anger*

>:(

anyways.

thats all for today.

bye peoples.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Lonely
Well today I feel really distant.

And Justine’s not here today.

The lunch room sucks, and I can’t go in the mac room so right now I’m in the library and there’s a shit load of people here.

Which sucks.

. . .

I don’t think I’ve been on the computers in here sense that one time a while ago where Justine stopped talking to me. I’m even sitting at the same computer.

. . .

I really wanna go home. There’s no point in being here right now.

. . .

Oh, I have some good news, my mom said that for every A I get on every homework assignment I get $5, and for every F I lose $5. So that’s cool. I didn’t think I’d have much money at acen this year but now I think I’ll have plenty.

. . .

Sorry, the dot, dot, dots are back.

Deal with it.

I’m not in a good mood today.

Sorry.

. . .

Oh I finally talked to the teacher who runs the gay lesbian bisexual club and I’m in.

Yay me…

Right…

So yeah it sucks because she was going to send for Justine too but she isn’t here.

So I think she’s going to try again tomorrow for her.

. . .

. . .

. . .

You ever just wanna hold someone and cry your ass off for hours. and just have someone there to comfort you and tell you it’ll be okay and hug you until your done crying. I’ve wanted to do that for the past few days. I mean usually I just hug a stuffed animal or something but sense I’m still sleeping im my living room it’d be kinda embarrassing in the morning when they found me with it. so I don’t know what im going to do about that.

. . .

yeah the bells going to ring soon.

so bye

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

One wish?
If i could have one wish, i would wish for me, justine, michelle, and aimee to all go back to how it was in the middle of sophmore year. back before anyone dated anyone, before anyone liked anyone. back to when we could all just ditch school and have fun and do stupid shit together. that was the happiest time of my life. and i honestly dont think ill ever find a better group of friends ever again.

and that really sucks.

anyways, thats what i was thinking about as i walked home today in the snow, while i listened to the used and cried.

i kept wanting to wait and see if my tears would freeze but i was to damn cold.

T-T

whatever, it was a good walk. although my pants got all wet and snow got in my shoes.

-__-

yeah, lyrics and i go.

and they're not from the used.

OMG, i know.

whatever here they are.

"Affliction"

Every night devise
new heights in genocide.
Lover I am loveless.

All my friends and I
toast health and suicide.
Lover, I am lonely.

Come on!

Were you holding hands when
my palms bled?

Oh, I will be alright...
just use me, just use me.
The future's bright without me.
Spend some time walking the line.

World is unified.
Ennui, and I divide.
Lover, I am loveless.

Red days and burning might bleed
'Till the faceless die
Oh, lover I am lonely.

Were you holding hands when
my wrists bled?

Oh I will be all right...
Just use me, just use me.
The futures bright without me
Spend some time walking the line.
Spend some time walking the line.

So stay sweetly numb.
Remain lifeless, love.
Stay sweetly numb.
Maintain lifeless love.

Stay sweetly numb.
Remain lifeless love.

Oh I will be all right...
Just use me, just use me.
The futures bright without me
Spend some time walking the line.
Spend some time walking the line.

my lil sis was playing this song when i got home.

so yeah.

idk.

i like it.

bye
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I'm obsessed with this CD
Ok so i went through all the songs and picked out my favorite lines for each one... and here they are.

THE USED LYRICS

"The Ripper"

Time Kills, Go ask Jesus

I'm done, makes no difference

Will I die right now, I'm only seconds away

"Pretty Handsome Awkward"

Hey, are you okay? (okay) You look pretty low

"The Bird And The Worm"

He wears his heart safety pinned to his backpack

Shot down by strangers whose glances can cripple the heart and devour the soul

All alone he turns to stone while holding his breath half to death

Terrified of what’s inside

If he can't relieve it, it grows

"Earthquake"

I almost heard her cry out as I left her far behind

and knew the world was crashing down around her

I've made this mess I built this fire, Are you still mine?

'Cause baby I'm not alright when you go I'm not fine

I never want you to go because I am all yours, so please be all mine

Let me save us

I've slaughtered us, I've murdered our love

I can taste it, this blood in my mouth

This knife in my lungs

have I murdered our love?

"Hospital"

This feeling never leaves you alone

You pull the trigger on your own

You're hiding in your safe place

Hiding with your eyes shut tightly all the way to the hospital

You end up feeling mostly dead

Before I cross my heart and hope to die at all

Take off my mask and leave the lies to the liars

Before I cross my eyes I'm gonna give it up

It never used to hurt before it isn't funny anymore

Feeling so alone now funny how you wish some way that you'll die at the hospital

you're waiting for your head to explode

Will you look them in the face

Could you look me in the face

Three cheers you fooled them all

"Paralyzed"

Before I could ever let you go, Gonna beg until I drive you mad

and say something you could understand

I'm a statue baby, Knock me out

Oh how these moments fade away, you say you never loved me

We say things we didn't mean to say

I take it back, I take it all back now

You mean more to me than you'll ever know

Paralyzed by the same old antics

Back and forth like some walking spastic

How could a fistfight be romantic?

Thinking back now will you ever feel the same?

"With Me Tonight"

The way I broke your heart very literally

I'm not gonna walk away or turn my head in shame

I never thought it could kill me

The way you smile shines the heavens above me

Never going to let you go, I want you all the time

I gotta prove you can trust me

I want you, You don't want me

My mistake for wasting yours and mine

I want you but will you stay with me today

I need you, you don't need me

When you are low, I am not okay

"Wake The Dead"

An empty hole in your chest where your heart used to beat

Just how could both you and me be about as dead as we could be

Take a walk with me, Walk with the dead

'Cause you knew that we had to die sometime

Well darling tonight could be a beautiful night to die

All alone you bought tickets for the nightmare as you wake the dead.

"Find A Way"

Space fills your mind and you dream awhile

The sun floods your room as you drown your Lungs full of breathing

Your true love believe

One more time to say I love you always and keeping faith letting love find a way

Let go and be burnt by the moon

Your hands full of feeling your true love, Believe

I love you to death Could you love me to death

"Liar, Liar (Burn In Hell)"

And the pills go down and get you higher

Only god and maker gripping tighter Saying you will burn in hell

Liar, liar, stop your soul from catching

And the glass tastes messy chew it louder bet your tummy hurts you

"Smother Me"

Let me be the one who calls you baby All the time

Surely you can take some comfort Knowing that you're mine

Just hold me tight, lay by my side

I found my place in the world

Could stare at your face for the rest of my days

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out and Smother me

Warm and alive I'm all over you would you smother me?

Let me be the one who never leaves You all alone

I hold my breath and lose the feeling That I'm on my own

Hold me too tight stay by my side


^_^

Yeah, me has got an addiction.

. . .

Hm, now for news i guess...

yeah there really isnt anything to say that matters. i mean i could talk about stuff but its stupid and none of you would care anyways. so im just not going to talk about it. its better that way i guess. talking to people about my problems was never really something i was good at. im much better at listening to other people.

so yeah.

bye.
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