Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Somewhat Sad... -_-
yeah as it says im kinda sad... although i dont really know why, i think today was pretty good...

i got to see Justine for the first time in over a week, so i was really happy. we watched a weird kung fu movie... it was funny...

and i got to see a picture of her in a pink dress, she looked suprisingly good considering she was wearing pink... hahaha

Hmm, i also finished reading New Moon today for the second time. its a really good book, now i really wanna read the next one... *sigh*

So yeah, i dont understand why im sad... well... i guess i can say ive gotten more selfish since summer started, and i know that sounds random but its not, i think that has something to do with me being sad all the time... i can spend the whole day with one of my friends but once there gone i slowly creep back into my depression... its so stupid, before i could see a friend for a short amount of time and have a grin glued to my face for the rest of the day...

so yeah, ive just gotten really selfish...

now i hate being alone, but i used to love it, it was my "me" time... and i used to try and have as much of it as i could... now im stuck trying to keep myself busy all day, if i dont it gets kinda bad... i just start hitting things, or i just sit in my room and think for hours...
and thinking usually isnt good for me, cause it just makes me more sad...

wow, this is starting to get become a depressing post.

I should probably stop now, its stupid for me to rant like this.

stupid panda...
*shakes head*

i guess ill put up some pictures now...



Ha, this is how i feel right now...



Hm, its nice to know that im not the only one out there that feels that way.



thats kinda funny...



i like that...



pretty...



i wish...

that reminds me, i wrote a poem yesterday...

*Empty and Full*

the numbness i wanted
the hope i felt
is taken away
again and again
my blade,
my liqur
where am i now
what is left
but a she
a shell filled with worthless emotions
feelings that will never fade
and yet
here i am
crying again
wishing for it to stop
but to afraid to do anything about it.

......

yeah that really is a stupid poem, if you even wanna call it that. i apologize to all of the good poets out ther. this is a disgrace...

im sorry...

bye