Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Cramps...
Yeah, i dont think i need to say anything else about that...

...

Ok, so last night i was REALLY depressed/confused/blah... yeah... i dont really know how to describe it... like you know how when your depressed you get really lazy and you just dont want to do ANYTHING... yeah that was me last night. i just sat on my bed and played michelle branch like 5 times... the most i would do is hit the play botton when it stopped... which now that i think about it i could have just put the CD on repeat... god im an idiot...

i also tried to write some... like poems and stuff... but i couldnt, it was all crap... like everything else i write...

...

im sorry...

i feel like im just trying to make people feel bad for me but im not... its just that this is the only place i can really talk about stuff... i dont know why... its just easier i guess...

yeah...

so back to my depressing night... after about 5 hours of doing nothing i slid off my bed and started beating the shit out of my floor... yeah i felt bad afterward and my hand hurt like hell but i still wasnt... i guess satisfied is the right word for this... you see im not the type who can just do the punching thing... and i know this sounds bad but i like blood...
so yeah i cut... im sorry sammy... really i am... i only did it once and it wasnt to deep... it was one of those things like you just dont realize what your doing until its done... so yeah, then i cried some... then i looked over at my wallet, (cause thats were i keep my razor) and saw my ID, so i pulled that out and started scratching it and now my face is all deformed... its kinda funny cause i had to take it out to go on the computer and i had forgoten about it... hahaha... so yeah...

i guess thats it...

god my tummy hurts... when i get home im going to take a shit load of meds....

Mwahahahaha...

heres some random pics...





yup that was me last night...
yeah i was kinda think about loveless last night... its a good book and i still think that loveless fits me better then worthless... whatever...



yeah... i gots nothing to say about that.

.......

yeah i go now....

Bye