Friday, October 12, 2007

Could Someone Just Punch Me In The Face?
I'm such a fucking baby... and i'm so selfish its not even funny...

anyway here are some shitty poems i wrote...

-Greatest Pleasure-

I want you to hurt me
Make me feel your hatred
Hit me
And curse me
Just please don’t ignore me
Make me see that I’m needed
If only for your own pleasure
Let me feel real
Take away the numbness
I need to be wanted
Even if it’s to beat me
Or kill me
To know that I was useful to you
Is my greatest pleasure
So please don’t leave me.

Karina said she really liked this one... but i dont know why cause its fucking crap...

-Cut Out My Heart-

I drag my razor over my heart
It’s not enough
I watch as the blood drips down my chest
Why isn’t it working
I cry and plead for the pain
The release isn’t there
I cut open my heart
Why wont you stop
I punch and scratch at the beating organ
Please stop working
I curse at it
And beg for my life to end.

-Life Vs. Death-

Death
It seems so simple
So easy to find
But so hard to get
You can look it in the eye
Even talk to it awhile
And never reach it
Why is it so hard
When you see the dark engulf you
And feel its cold touch
Why do I look away
When the end is so close
So close that I can feel the pain drip off me
And all my thoughts
All my questions
Seem so far away
And I know that it’s over
That I’ll never be hurt again
So why do I look back
Why do I always go back to the light
Back to the burning sun
Where all my fears are
And all the pain comes back
Why do I choose life
When death seems so much better.


sorry for making you read my shit...

now for some lyrics...

"Evil Angel"

Hold it together, birds of a feather,
Nothing but lies and crooked wings.
I have the answer, spreading the cancer,
You are the faith inside me.

No, don't
Leave me to die here,
Help me survive here.
Alone, don't remember, remember.

[Chorus:]
Put me to sleep evil angel.
Open your wings evil angel.

A-ah.

I'm a believer,
Nothing could be worse,
All these imaginary friends.
Hiding betrayal,
Driving the nail,
Hoping to find a savior.

No, don't
Leave me to die here,
Help me survive here.
Alone, don't
Surrender, surrender.

[Chorus]

Oh.
Fly over me evil angel.
Why can't I breathe evil angel?

[Chorus]

Oh.
Fly over me evil angel.
Why can't I breathe evil angel?

i really like this song...

now for some fucked up suicidal/depressed pictures...

joy...



thats a fucking lie, you cant just will pain away... its fucking impossible...



thats a cool idea...







Hahahaha... ok so ive been trying to get my hands on some drugs for a while now, and theres alot of people who ask why... well im fucking going to tell you why... its cause all the druggies seem so fucking happy, they get high and they get to forget... well i wanna forget to... i want to forget everything even if its only for a moment... i wanna be able to be happy for real... im tired of faking it... its to fucking hard...





this reminds me of the last avatar justine had for me...

except it said goodnight...



thats so fucking true...

I just want a fucking hug... is that to much to ask for... cause if it is just fucking tell me... cause i really wanna know...

And if anyone can tell me why i fucking hurt so much all the time that would help too... cause i dont think i can fucking take it anymore...

im such a fucking baby...

and im so fucking pathetic...

its not like any of you are going to know what to do or say... why, you probably wont even FUCKING COMMENT... so what the fuck does it matter...