Thursday, November 1, 2007

Justine...
Today sucks… the rest of my life is going to suck… and apparently life is just so much better without friends…

Well I guess one good thing came out of this… I found out that everything was a fucking lie… I mean there’s no way it was true, cause there’s no way you would be able to just give up on me if you cared about me at all… so thanks for the fucking lies… for making me hope, and feel happy even if it was only for a few days…

I don’t understand…

I fucking said I’d wait…

What else do I fucking need to say…

FUCK…

Why did you even send me that fucking PM…

WHY?

Cause right now it just feels like your trying to kill me…

Cause that’s what’s going to happen…

I cant fucking live like this…

Damn it…

I don’t want to say this in a post but I’m to much of a pussy to say it to your face…

and I don’t feel like PMing you…

I’m Sorry…

I’m so fucking sorry…

And I know this sounds way to over dramatic, but I don’t care anymore… if you haven’t noticed that’s just the way I am… I’m over dramatic… but I guess it doesn’t matter… cause you don’t fucking care…

You don’t care…

And that hurts…

And I wish I couldn’t care…

But I’m not like that, I can’t not care, and I can’t forget…

So I’m sorry…

God your sitting right next to me and you know I’m crying but you don’t care… if that doesn’t say that you don’t care then I don’t know what the fuck would…

I’m sorry…

I guess, even though I kinda thought that everything you said in that PM was I lie, I was still hoping… which is so fucking stupid, you would think that I had learned to not do that anymore… cause its always just rubbed in my face later… but what you said… why?

Why did you even bother…

What the fuck?

Whatever…

…

I’m probably not going to post for a while…

And you might not see me for a while, if I don’t chicken out on what I plan to do when I get home… and no I’m not trying to get your pity… I mean hey it would probably be better for you right… if I wasn’t around…

and you know what, you cant say that you just don’t want friends and still talk and hang out with other people… the only person your not being friends with is me… you still fucking talk and act normal for everyone but me… what the fuck… just tell me straight out that its just me you don’t want to be friends with anymore…

whatever…

…

I’m sorry…

And even though I hate myself so much for being like this…

I’m still waiting…

Even if you hate me…

So I’m sorry…

I love you…

bye