Friday, November 9, 2007

   Hypocrite!!!
Yep… that’s me…

But we’ll get to why later…

I’m going to start from when I woke up to now…

So yeah…

I’m in love with my dreams, and therefore don’t want to wake up… EVER… so yeah, that’s depressing… god I wish I could just sleep forever…

So yeah, when I woke up I was immediately depressed which sucked… but then in the morning I was pretty good, cause I got to see my friends…

Then everything was fine until art… this is where the whole hypocrite thing comes in…

…

I kinda don’t even want to talk about it cause its just so fucking stupid…

So stupid…

And its not like it’s a big surprise…

I already knew…

But I guess I’m not making sense cause I haven’t said what happened…

*sigh*

ok so here it is…

today my art teacher was talking to us about this wedding she’s going to on Saturday, and she said she was wearing a black dress… well everyone in the class kinda went silent cause I guess your not supposed to wear black to a wedding… so she started freaking out about it and we were trying to calm her down and I guess give her tips on what to wear…

Now right now I just wanna say that i’m not stupid when it comes to clothes, sure I look horrible and I dress bad but I know good clothes when I see them… its just that they don’t look good on me… that’s why I wear black, its easy, simple, and I thought it didn’t look like complete shit on me… but now I’m not so sure… I mean its not my fault that I’m ugly, I was fucking born this way… what I can change is me being fat and I’m working on that… and until I lose weight I’m not even going to bother shopping for clothes I mean that’s stupid… why the fuck would I buy clothes and then lose weight and then not be able to fucking wear it… so I’m sorry I suck…

Anyways back to the story… I don’t remember what I said but after I said it she was all like “like I should really be listening to someone who wears a dog collar”… Well fuck you… is what I’d like to say… but the problem is I really like my art teacher, and I think she has a great fashion sense… I mean, I think the only reason I actually care about this is because I look up to her or whatever… I mean I wouldn’t care if it was some smartass kid but sense it came from someone I like it really hurt, and I fucking hate that… I hate being so fucking weak… and I’m dwelling on it, which I have realized lately that I do that a lot…

So yeah, I’m a fucking hypocrite because I always tell people not to worry about what other people think of you but I guess that’s all bullshit now… you know what just don’t listen to me, don’t take my advise, cause its probably all fucking wrong…

So yeah… that all for that, now for gym…

Well I actually did stuff today… it was the whole fall from the bleachers shit, and it was scary as hell, but kinda fun…

English sucked, I just sat there staring off into space the whole time…

Dwelling…

…

and now I’m here, in the mac room… and I feel like I’m being a big baby, and bring people down…

I’m such a fucking asshole…

Whatever…

Lyrics and then I’m gone…

And by the way these are directed at me and only me…

"Had Enough"

Milk it for all it's worth.
Make sure you get there first.
The apple of your eye.
The rotten core inside.
We are all prisoners.
Things couldn't get much worse.
I've had it up to here, you know your end is near.

[Chorus:]
You had to have it all,
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You will get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.

Intoxicated eyes, no longer live that life.
You should have learned by now, I'll burn this whole world down.
I need some peace of mind, no fear of what's behind.
You think you've won this fight, you've only lost your mind.

[Chorus:]
You had to have it all,
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You will get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.

Hold me down (I will live again)
Pull me out (I will break it in)
Hold me down (better in the end)
Hold me down.

[Chorus]
You had to have it all,
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You will get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one to leave you in the misery and hate what you've become.

Heaven help you.


Later…