Friday, December 7, 2007

   Hm. . .
well today i feel really off.

and the only way i can explain it is like, its a sinking feeling. like that weird feeling in your chest when your going down a roller coaster.

except its not going away, and I've felt like this sense last night.

I'm also in a very self-abusive kinda mood.

which probably isn't very good.

-_-

the only time i feel slightly better is when I'm like interacting with someone. or just like keeping my mind off of it... whatever "it" is.

...

this sucks, and of course its friday so i'm going to have a shitty weekend cause theres nothing to keep my mind off of it.

*sigh*

oh well, the happy never lasts forever.

but it was cool, this has to be the longest its ever lasted.

so thats pretty amazing.

i think it was like 2 straight weeks of happy, if not longer.

*nods*

. . .

now i guess the only other news i have for you peoples is this rule at our school about no zip up hoodies. which nobody is actually obeying, except a few of the stricter teachers.

but Justine and Sammy made a bet about whether Justine will get yelled at, and whoever wins gets to have me as a pet for a week, and i think $5...
but i kinda wish i hadnt offered the whole pet thing, cause its really just me being... i dont even know what you would call it. but its more like im getting awarded then them. and its not like either of them are actually going to play along. i mean i guess that would be weird for some people. i just wanted to try it out and this way i dont have to pay anyone to do it.

so yeah, just me being selfish again.

yeah im really beating myself up today, mentally and physically.

Haha, last night i just laid in my bed and punched myself in the stomach for like 5 minutes straight, while i listened to music.

so that was fun.

-_-

and i guess thats it.

sorry for being like this.

so fucking pathetic.

. . .