Monday, February 4, 2008

Why wont they just stop fucking lying to me?
My experiment failed.

T-T

Yes, its very sad.

really, it is.

im actually REALLY angry.

. . .

although theres really no reason for me to be.

i knew what would happen.

*sigh*

oh well, i guess im just going to go back to normal tomorrow.

and when i say normal i mean sad depressed lonely amanda.

lol

i really think i was born to be depressed, it just doesnt feel right to be happy you know.

whatever.

i think im just going to give up on everything and everyone. sense were all going to end up alone anyways i might as well get used to it now right.

-__-

...

what else to say.

...

Oh, my older sister sammy finally got a computer and is now able to talk to me through aim. which is AWESOME, that really cheered me up today.

and i also hung out with the asian today which was nice. we both just ranted about stuff thats been bothering us and i think we both felt a lot better after letting out some steam.

*nods*

you know what ive noticed, i have no reason to be depressed. like, i have a good home, a family that loves me (even though it gets kinda annoying), i have lots of friends, and people i care about, and although everything might not be exactly the way i want it to be, life for me really isnt all that bad. i mean theres thousands of other people out there who have it so much worse then me.

idk, i guess all im trying to say is im a selfish little bitch who cant even be happy with what ive got.

yeah, i think that fits me perfectly.

*nods*

yeah ill go with lyrics again.

"Change Your Mind"

Don't solve the problem,
when danger is better.
Far away where you stock them
In cages that tether

And all the bridges you've burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
and it's all gone, what's left for you.

And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.
It's just your doubt that binds you.
Just drop those thoughts behind you now.
Change your mind.
You let go too soon.

Sit down, you're sinking,
there's no one to watch you.
Skip town, you're thinking,
there's no one to stop you.

And all the bridges you've burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
and it's all gone, what's left for you.

And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.
It's just your doubt that binds you.
Just drop those thoughts behind you now.
Change your mind.
Let go too soon.

Don't run away,
Stop feeling fine.
It's better than your worst, your worst day.
No words to say, I'll give you mine,
and pocket all the hurt, and just stay.
Don't run away.
It's better than your worst, your worst day.

And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.

And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.
It's just your doubt that binds you.
Just drop those thoughts behind you now.
Change your mind.
Let go too soon.

Don't run away.
I'll change your mind.
Let go too soon.
[x3]

Don't run away.
I'll change your mind.



"Stab My Back"

Now we're broken on the floor
She just wants me to share her
It hasn't been this way before
She just wants me to dare her

The phone rings
And she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
You walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

And every time he held you close
Yeah, were you thinking of me
When I needed you the most
Well I hope that you're happy

The phone rings
And she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
You walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It's better when I bleed for you

I hope that love he gave you
Was just enough to save you
You nearly broke my heart
Just look at what you're tearing apart

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
You walk on me
It never was enough to do

I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

It's better when I bleed for you
It never was enough to do
It hasn't done a lot for you


later