Tuesday, December 9, 2008

as someone I know
December 9th 2008
9:52 pm
Temperature:warm but a little cool breeze
currently: eating a cotton candy lollipop
mood:I am sick with a cold or as a friend would put it A SICK DOG!

So how is everyone doing? Myo always makes me cheerful I noticed but when it's back to reality I'm always either sad or angry and it's always during lunchtime.

I think it's odd but I've always hated lunchtime and the cafeteria, though I do like to eat (who doesn't?) I hate the cafeteria I feel like theres too many people I'm not claustrophobic but I hate being there I feel like everyones watching me and I hate sitting in the ceneter I lik ethe sides and I feel awkward when I sit with people I don't really talk to and that would be the majority of the people in my school.

Like today I tried making small talk with a girl I know and I'm like so how's and she knows immediately what I was referring to the class she hates the most which would be journalism and she says "let's not talk about that" I mean you could take that two ways chuckle and say oh so it's that bad? or 2. Well um okay I was just trying to start a conversation and feel bitchslapped. I felt both ways. And I feeling the aftermath of number 2 all day.

I hate recieving the truth from people I don't know well that's odd. Like I can handle the truth from close people and I won't tell my close friends ever what I don't like about them and usually you do. I'm sort of an opposite for these things but I never liked my school because I never fit in. I fit into indivual groups but there was never someone who had it all like i did you get me? So it feel's sort of odd and lonely sometimes. I was so angry after what that girl told me though I did some of my work to get my mind off it and then I went to the compuer lab and I sort of slaped the door open of the caferteria doors since I was mad about it I doubt anyone noticed though.

And well that's I guess one of the things that I don't like thats going on in my life. But I mean hey it's highschool I only have to deal with taht for one more year and I'm done. And it really helps to be able to go home right when school is out since I can drive I used to sit at school and just listen to music and I wouldn't really talk to anyone. but whatevs.

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