Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The real Name of the Cars We all Know and Love.
Aston
A Stupendous Ton of needles!

Audi
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

Beetle
By Everyone's Experience, They Last Eternally!
Battered Everywhere; Expect To Lose Engine

BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Break My Windows
Broken Money Waster
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Brutal Money Waster
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Big Money Waster
Break My Window
Busted My Wallet

Buick
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer

Camaro
Can't America Make A Real One?

Chevrolet
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Clutch Hangs, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Cracked Head Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time

Chevy
Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

Chrysler
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's

Citroen
Crummy Interior, Terrible Road-holding, Owned Entirely by Nebishes

Dodge
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dukes Often Destroy Good Engines

Fiat
Failure in Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix It Again Tony?
Fix It All the Time

Ford
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
Backwards... Dorks Ride On Fords
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Fixed On Race Day
Ford Owner Really Dumb
For Only Retarded Drivers
Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Found On Russian Dump
For Off Road Death
it Freaking Only Runs Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge(Datsun)
Frigin Oakies Really Dig it
Funky Old Road Dog
Found On Roadside's Destroyed
Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty
Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge
Found Old Rebuilt Dodge
Forget OutRunning Dale
Found On Railroad Deserted
Found On Railroad Dead
Fools Only Read Directions
First On Repair Dolly
Favorite Of Redneck Drivers
Backwards- Dumb Retards Own Fords
Funny Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Found On Russian Dump
Forfiet On Race Day
Found On River Dead
Failure Of Research & Development

Ford LTD
Found On Road Dying, Left To Die

Geo
Good Engineering Overlooked
Gets Eventually Over 50

GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Got Mechanic Coming
Generally Made Crappy

Honda
How Odd, No Damn Acceleration
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Had One, Never Did Again

Hyundai
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

Jaguar
Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop

Jeep
Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts
Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole
Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jumps Everything Ever Parked
JUST Enough Engine Power?
Jr. Engineered Every Part

Lotus
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

Mazda Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

Mercedes
Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings

Mercury
Mileage Eventually Ruins Car -- Usually Ruins You
Makes Everyone Really Crave Underpowered, Recalled Yugo
Makes Envisioning REAL Car Understandable -- Recalled Yet?
Motorists Easily Rate Car (Usually "Real Yo-yo")

MG
Motoring Genius

Mopar
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicas
My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin'
Made Of Plastic And Rust
Move Over Passing Another Rat

Mustang
Massively Under Siezed Tires And No Go

Nissan
Never In Synch Screeching Awful Noises
Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now

Oldsmobile
Oh Look, Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

Pinto
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

Plymouth
Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood!
Police Laugh, Old Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap

Pontiac
Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadilliac
Pours Out Noxious Toxins In American Cities

Porsche
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Please Overlook Really Smutty Cardboard Horrible Engine
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything

Rabbit
Replace A Beetle? Boy, It Tried
Racy? Ain't! Bouncy, Bad Itty-bitty Toy!

Renault
Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash

Saab
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken
Send Another Automobile Back
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto Always Broken

Sable
Sleezy Auto Brakes Leak Everytime

Toyota
Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Towed Often, Yearly Overrunning Triple A

Triumph
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
Trembling Ride, Intrusive Undercarriage, Meekly Powered Hotrod.
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt

Vanagon
Via Another Name: A Go-cart On Nerve

Volkswagen
Vehicle Owner's List: Kite String, Wire, Aluminum, Gum, Engine (NOT!)

Volvo
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW
Very Worthless
Virtually Worthless
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