Monday, June 19, 2006

   Sooo busy
OMG sooo busy with wooork! Charlie's is the devil!!! I hAve actual blisters from scooping ice cream! I graduated highschool, those fools actually gave me a diploma! lol. Broke up wi th the bf, really close to this guy named Peter, he freakin rocks my world, and he knows it completely. He'll always be my football captain!
Well what happened today? my friend karis had her graduation party, tons of fun. She had a volleyball cake, with figurines, and one of the figurines was made to be me! (sry if the typing and spellinig sucks, my left ring finger and pinky are completely numb) Then chilled with Pete. And talked with him on phone for three hours. Tomorrow is the Ries-Davis Graduation Birthday Party Palooza! which is basically movies, wiscoy falls, swimming, cookout and bonfire, and a few friends. Both are birthdays are coming up and neither of us had grad. parties, so we diecided to give it a title. He leaves sat. for camp and i leave soon for nyc, and we won't see each other till thanksgiving....sooo sad.....:'-(...Sadness.....
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Tuesday, June 6, 2006

   How did i get myself into this mess?
And how do i get out,
He said he didn't mean it this morning,
He was drunk, he wasn't in a sane state of mind,
But that doesn't take away the bruises on my arm,
Doesn't take away the bruises on my chest
Doesn't take away the bruises on my back....
How did i get in this mess,
Oh Lord, how did i get in this mess?

And i cried out for help,
But nobody was there,
Nobody heard,
And i cried, and i cried,
So he grabbed another beer,
He left again,
Said he needed to get out
And i cried, nobody heard,
Nobody to talk to
Nowhere to turn
Who would understand?
How could i tell my friends?
That i could be so dumb?
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Thursday, June 1, 2006

   To Luke
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin you that I've had it with the fear
Me just lying here crying singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin you that I've had it with the fear
Me just lying here crying singing "Where'd you go?"

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
Tellin you that I've had it with the fear
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...



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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Just floating by.....
We got the letter back yesterday
They need to up the dosage one more time
Need to see the doctor one more time
And if they could just try this one procedure
The latest achievement......
The best they got.....
But my eyes just can't focus
I just can't listen
And i feel nothing
For now just keep floating by



The lights are beaming on me
The pen is in my hand
My peers surround me,
My desk is unsteady
I can't remember what i have studied
The questions are infront of me,
I'm gonna fail this test
But my eyes just can't focus
I just can't listen
And i feel nothing
For now just keep floating by

His lips trace my skin
His arms wrap around my body
His breath singes my skin
As he whispers in my ear
But my eyes just can't focus
I just can't listen
And i feel nothing
For now just keep floating by

My friends are all laughing
I toss my hair back and smile
I tell another joke
And order another round of refills
They compliment my charm
And we think back on good times
But my eyes just can't focus
I just can't listen
And i feel nothing
For now just keep floating by

I walk on the stage
They announce my name
He hands me the diploma
I turn in my cap and gown
And so ends another chapter in my life
And so starts another
It's time to pack my bags and go
It's time for me to leave to a new place
But my eyes just can't focus
I just can't listen
And i feel nothing
For now just keep floating by

I called him on the phone one last time
My eyes were filled with tears
I called out to him
My heart was breaking again
And i knew it was a mistake
ANd i knew that it was wrong
But so many things went unsaid......
My hand trembled,
My heart stopped
I closed my eyes
But his eyes just won't focus
ANd he just won't listen
And he feels nothing but hate for me
And i'm just floating by


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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

   I will always love you my friend
Forgive, sounds good.
Forget: I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting.I'm through with doubt:
There's nothing left for me to figure out.
I've paid a price,
An' I'll keep paying.I'm not ready to make nice;
I'm not ready to back down.
I'm still mad as hell,
An' I don't have time,
To go round and round and round.
It's too late to make it right;
I prob'ly wouldn't if I could.
'Cause I'm mad as hell:
Can't bring myself,
To do what it is you think I should.I know you said:
"Can't you just get over it?"
It turned my whole world around,
And I kind of like it.I made my bed and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets, and I don't mind sayin':
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her,
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world can the words that I said,
Send somebody so over the edge,
That they'd write me a letter sayin' that I better,
Shut up an' sing or my life will be over? Forgive, sounds good.
Forget: I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting.
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Monday, May 22, 2006

   I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've
Never been this swept away

All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart

'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
I'm closer than I've ever felt before
And I know
And you know
There's no need for words right now

'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
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Friday, May 12, 2006

   All i could see were fresh green budding trees new to the spring
All i could hear was the bubbling brooke below rushing to pace with the gentle breeze
All i could smell was the coming of the gentle rain
All i could feel was the rope around my neck.
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

   *BAWL*

Perhaps just one more heartbreak,
Just a couple more sleepless nights
Just a little more loneliness
Just a little more pain
Maybe if i can survive
ANd hold on for just a little longer
Maybe soon my heart will mend for good
And i'll be safe in love
Just a little longer
I keep telling myself that i'm not forgotten
Just kept in waiting...
Just a little longer....
Just a little longer....
And perhaps maybe then, i can be happy.
Just one more heartbreak.
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Saturday, April 29, 2006

   To Luke
"Come Down To Me"

Words fall out of my mouth
And I can’t seem to trace what I’m saying
Everybody wants your time
I’m just dreaming out loud,
I can’t have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.

Tripping up on my tongue,
It’s all over my face and I’m racing
Gotta get away from you
Burning all the way home,
Try to put it to bed but it chases
Every little thing I do

When the light falls on your face,
Don’t let it change you
When the stars get in your eyes,
Don’t let them blind you.

[CHORUS]
You’re beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line, and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.

Spell it out in a song,
Bet you never catch on to my weakness
I’m singing every word for you.
Here I’m thinking I’m sly
Then you’re catching my eye, and just maybe
You’re thinking what I’m thinking too

When you see it on my face,
Don’t let it shake you
I know better than to try and
Take you with me.

You’re beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line, and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.
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Thursday, April 27, 2006

   I NEVER GET PICKED FOR NETHING!!!!!
" Small town beauty queen,
she's the star in this scene
There's no way to deny she's lovely
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed Hearts everywhere
Tell myself inside she's ugly
Maybe i'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Secretly i wonder if my boyfriend would want to date her,

She's the prom queen
I'm just a theatre geek
She's the hot girl
I'm just an everyday freak
She gets the top bunk
And i'm sleeping on the floor
she's Ms. America
And i'm just the girl next door

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
Pretty rich girl debutant
Everything that you want
Never too harsh
Or too demanding

Maybe i'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Everybody loves her
But i just wanna hit her

I don't know why i'm feeling sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishing that i were someone else

She's lock-in MC
I blend into the wall
I'm just so fat
and she's just naturally small
I get a little bit
She gets a little more
She's Ms. America
yeah
She's Ms. America
and i'm just the girl next door."


(Girl Next Door by Saving Jane, i changed some of the words to be relevent to my own life.)

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