Saturday, December 17, 2005

   Catching up....
"i mean i don't doubt that i did something nutty, dramatic and extreme, obviously it's me, but those moments happen so frequently these days that i can't possibly keep track of them all. What exactly did i do could u tell me?
Oh Jillian u wouldn't believe the person i've become! U'd be tickled to death (is that possible by the way?) to see me on a day to day basis. Why, it's like aliens have abducted the meek geek, and replaced an obtrusive, dramatic, social monster! It's quite hilarious actually. Hmmm, yes, well...do call soon. "
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Thursday, December 15, 2005

   ....*SURPRISE!!!!***

MISTLETOE!!!!



*SMOOCH!*
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

   Stress
*WARNING!* *WARNING!* *WARNING!*

GIRL PMSING!!!!


My play was a success which is awesome, and a miracle! Meanwhile....college applications....SAT's......driver license's......Timmy....Karis.....Peter......Christmas....work.....Government class.....tests....exams......weight......faith....everything is sooo stressful.

*MEMORIES OF U, SWIM IN MY HEAD, AND I THINK TO MYSELF WAS IT WORTH IT? AND SO MANY TIMES I MISS U, IN THOSE QUIET TIMES. *
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Friday, November 25, 2005

   Bargain Bin Bitch
Well...this morning my mother woke me up at 4am to go hit the stores at 5am to get the big after Thanksgiving sales. Personally, the sales weren't that great. I did get this great blouse at Old Navy tho. But i had to practically wrestle for it against this fakin'bake bimbo. And i got a pair of earrings. So cute! I hardly got to shop tho, cuz my mom only like stayed in each store for like 10 minutes....so annoying. Anyways, i got this really pretty zirconium ring. It looks so real. I love it. I'm going to use it as a purity ring. How are u guyz?
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Saturday, November 19, 2005

   Cinderella
I stood there, my heart aching as I watched everyone greeting each other in the foyer of the academy. All the boys looked very nice in their suits and ties. I gazed enviously at all the girls with their beautiful gowns, and there hair done up in curls. How pretty they all looked! How happy they all seemed to be! And then, there I stood in blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt. The apron I was wearing was stained with gravy and turkey grease, and latex gloves imprisoned my carefully manicured hands. My feet were not crowned in sexy silhouettes as all the other girls, but confined in an old pair of sneakers. My hair was not sculpted perfectly on my head for such an occasion, but simply pulled back in a messy pony tail.
This was not me! This was not were I was suppose to be! I am not a behind the scenes kind of young lady. On the contrary; God had instilled in me a need, a purpose to be on center stage! And I asked myself as I stood in the kitchen, exactly why I had signed up to work. I looked to my left, and there was Peter, wearing a plastic apron, scrubbing grease off of a dirtied pan. I scoffed. This had to be one of the stupidest things I had ever done. What was I thinking? Did I really think that just by giving up my senior Thanksgiving banquet to work in a kitchen would prove to him that I wasn’t some social twit?
Peter didn't believe that conversation was relevant when there was work to be done. I guess he is too good for me to ever understand him. He’s happy to serve others, and work hard, and to do all things that a good, honorable, Christian should do. I wish I could be like Peter. For a moment, I felt guilty that I couldn’t be content working. But then I looked out the kitchen door and saw my friends laughing and having a good time. My eyes filled up with tears and I carefully wiped one off my cheek with my wrist. I glanced over to see Peter quickly look away. I wondered if he saw that tear. I wondered if he saw right through me and knew how much I wanted to be out there with everyone else.
I thought about how beautiful I could have looked tonight while I dried some just washed dishes. Oh I had so many gowns I could have worn! There was the coral pink dress with the Spanish hem, or the silver and white one that was a Wendye Chaitin original! I even had the red dress that was a Fioni, that I hadn’t even worn yet! The hot plates scorched my fingertips as I imagined hungrily over high heels. How much fun I could have had that night! I could have been charming, witty, and just daring enough before being crude.
I felt terribly similar to Cinderella. I just wanted to go to the banquet, and not in the rags I was wearing either. I wanted to laugh, and tell jokes, and flirt! And instead I was scraping other peoples leftovers into the trash. I kept thinking how out of character I was.

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Thursday, November 17, 2005

   I got an 83 on my Government test....BOOYA!!!!!!
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

   My senior pic's came in! They rock! Peter.....Peter......Peter.....
groan.....so confused.
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Monday, November 14, 2005

   MY MOTHER
My lazy mother is driving me crazy!!! OMFG!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHH! First she didn't let me go to the rehersals of the play that I WROTE and am STUDENT DIRECTING for a whole week last week. SO i reeeeally need to be at rehersals and reeeally want to, and this is my first week back. And she calls the school during the day to say that she can't pick me up at the truck stop...why? NO REASON! JUST DOESN"T FEEL LIKE IT! I'm soooo sick of her AAAAAAAAAHHH!! I worked all f****** weekend, did all her bullshit chores on top of that, wasn't allowed to do anything for no reason whatsoever, and now uuhhhhhh F*#&@^!*@ (#*$&)_)@) *#$&$&#*$&# *#&$*#$&!~!!!!!!!!!
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   Oookay, so every morning in my desktop class I'm the first one there. I set my very distinct bookbag, that everyone knows is mine, on the table next to my seat, where i drape my jacket on. Every morning Peter comes in and sits exactly one seat away from me, even though there are tons of other empty seats where he could sit. So does he like me or not? Because usually if a guy doesn't like u at all, they sit as far away from you as possible, but if they do like you they'll sit right next to you. But what the heck is up with him? I'm confused.
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Friday, November 4, 2005

   Life's so funny when ur ugly. IT's funny how you finally have a date and a dress, and then they decided to go with someone else. hahaha.
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