Wednesday, August 31, 2005

   Today was orientation for school! Yay! I missed everyone sooooo much. School is sooo great. I looove being a senior!!!! I'm so worried about volleyball, we have sooo many ppl. on the team. This is gonna bite the big one.....gosh.
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Saturday, August 27, 2005

   Last night was soooo awesome!!!! Drive-in with the athletic teams. So much fun. Saw the Brothers Grimm. Great movie, and a little bit of the skeleton key, it's seemed really good. Hanging and chilling with friends. Had some um eh a, surprising encounters , haha. Driving in a van with ur friends, windows down, blaring the music, nothing like highschool!!!!!! Aaah, this is the life. Except i was out reeeeally late last night and had to work this morning, but i delt. Haha. Such a great time . How are y'all?
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

   I feel soooo terrible. I don't know what it is....hmmmm....I just feel, eh *groan* sigh. I just want it to go away.....aaaah! Oh please let it be just hormones, please let it be hormones!!!!
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

   The whole team is back for volleyball!!!! Yayyyy! I missed my friends sooo much. Had to work like ALL DAY! Gosh! So tired. Can't wait for school. I decorated my locker, (The interior is pink) :-D. I need help, advice, anything. BUt i have no place to go for this one, and it seems like God is keeping his mouth shut on this one....*groan* *shriek* *cries out* HELP!
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Friday, August 19, 2005

   OOoooookay....so the results of my blood tests are in....and it only took me 3 of my mom's medical text books and a medical dictionary to decipher it all....so okay...*clears throat* (Drum roll please)....Everything is optimally perfect...EXCEPT... i have an EXTREMELY low count of monocytes. (Yeah, i didn't know what the hell that meant either) Monocytes are the certain type of white blood cell (5-10% of white blood cells are monocytes) that clean the debris of viruses, bacteria, and foriegn debris after they have been killed. So my body doesn't clean up after the dirty work. (Haha, i'm a slob from the inside out!). My doctor thinks the reason why it's so low is because i never get sick, so there isn't nething for the monocytes to clean up, hence my body stops producing them. The natural system of supply and demand. But I still have to get a couple shots and then i'll be fine. so i'm good! Phew! Thank GOD! So how are you guys?
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Thursday, August 18, 2005

   Hide and Seek......
Okay, so I'm at a friends house right now, (Sarah, she's really cool), but she's at work right now so i was like hey, i'll use her computer.....lol) So yeah, i'm in Houghton, spent the night last night. Last night's practice was fun, but i'm still reeeeally sore. Tonight we're doing more conditioning, and it's going to kill, it always done. (Let's just say my buns don't feel anything like steel) LPadlock FINALLY updated, (High-five Luke! :-P) I am sooo sore. Last night I went over to a friends house with a bunch of my other friends and we watched Hide and Seek. Okay , i'm not a scary movie fan at all, but this one was sooooo good!! Great movie. But then Sarah and i had to walk home afterwards and I was freaked. We stayed up like all night last night talking. No offense to my bff, but it was so awesome to talk to a girl. (We just understand each other better, don't we ladies?) Today i gotta get my books and locker assignment for school, Luke's too cuz he lives too far, and to drive down here just for that would be stupid. Then i have to practice serving, then hopefully go swimming @ the Merril's and get all my soreness out!!! Hahaha. I cannot possibly wait for school to start. Yeah Baby! Okay, so what's up with u guys??
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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

   Painful Jello
My very first SENIOR VOLLEYBALL PRACTICE was monday. Omgosh, sooo much fun! I missed ma girls sooo much! We got our new coach last night, she's fricken awesome. She really knows her stuff too. But we did alot of conditioning last night, and my legs are soooo sore, my shoulders too. Have you ever heard of five point drills??? haha. My body is painful jello, and OMGOSH! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!! AAAAH!!!! haha. Spending the night tonight in Houghton with my friends, should be so much fun. How are y'all?
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Thursday, August 11, 2005

   I just got blood work done fer uh......something......hmmmm. Neway , i was sitting there in the chair, and i saw the needle and looked away, soooo grosse. Then i saw the blood spurting into the tube, AAAAH ewe, soooo disgusting. But i got a lollipop and a really cool bandade, so i guess it's okay.
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I look in the mirror
Tear stained face
Blood shot eyes
"I hate you"
I'm absolutely disgusted
Disgusted with myself
I'm so stupid
"Stupid"
I start to panic, I can't breath
A lump in my throat
A cold pain in my stomach
"Stop it"
I start to cry
The tears fall like bullets
"Stop crying you retard"
They fall faster
I can't breath
I wrap my arms around myself
But i still feel so alone
"Idiot"
I scream, nobody hears
"Stupid"
I can't breath
I can't stop crying
"STOP CRYING"
I start to tremble
I hate my face
I hate my smile
I hate my body
I'm disgusted
Stupid
Fat
Ugly
"Stop crying you stupid bitch, you worthless bitch"
I start to hypervenilate
I can't breath
I can't breath!
"Your a fucking idiot, you fucking retard. Why are you crying, Stop crying, you weak...."
I let out a gasp
I let out a whimper
"Idiot"
I cry myself to sleep.....
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

   Volleyball starts in a week!!! I CANNOT POSSIBLY WAIT!!! AAAH! *shrieks with glee* i got my new sneakers and sports bra, i'm ready! lol. How is everyone?
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