Thursday, December 7, 2006

/.
nothing new with me.
juts tired alot.
and I feel lethargic all the time.
I need a hug T_T.
good news though, I got recruited back into KUROKURO, the old band I left.
...I still have no confidence in my voice whatsoever.
hooray for me.


-hitomi
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Friday, November 17, 2006

this made my day :


WHY GEEKS ARE BETTER


XDD thanks to Chiru sempai for finding the link! XDDD



and yesss Chiru, joo R special!!!
I just need um. inspiration to write lyrics for you XDD
and I sound like um..Amy Lee O__o
or so people tell me.
and no, I'm sure you dont suck =D




♥
hitomi



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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

   good day =DD
/.
Listening to : End of all hope - Nightwish
mood : happy

woooo!
Good day today =D
can't really say why.
and yay,I'm getting back to EngrishENGLISH bands again!

and hooray for Nightwish! It's been forever since I last listened to them.

Well, I'm just posting to say~
THANK YOU, to...


CERM
my daaahhhlinggg!!!!!!
I've posted so many whiny posts, and yet you still bothered to comment and write sweet things for me to read! I felt so much better after reading your comment on my last post! X3
And yessssshhh you be my internet buddy! coolness =D
no matter how far you are from me, I'll always remember you! If I do become a famous rock star (XDDDDDD)and all that jazz, I'll write a song for you! You deserve one =DDDD



annnnddd to anyone else to comments on my posts =DDD

CERM gets a special shankyyuu 'cause she's cuddly =DDD



-hitomi

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Monday, November 13, 2006

   chu~
/.
Listening to: Crawling - Linkin Park
Mood: cold

...My dream with my band ends.
but somehow I'm not sad.
I'm angry, disappointed, and relieved.
Angry because I know I screwed myself up on purpose.
Disappointed because I couldn't overcome my own nervousness and because I'm not a persistant enough person.
Relieved because I don't think I can handle all the stress of being in a band where its members are like statues to me.

Boys have always been better people to have as bandmembers anyways. I could never get along with girls. Sorry Iz,Ai,Mit.
I feel doubly relived because my ex bandmembers found other reasons to kick me out. So that I won't have to explain myself to anyone.
...I don't want to be part of a band which makes me feel like I'm not wanted.


I now find that I feel as though I don't belong anywhere. Not in my school, not in the Jrock community here.

...nowhere.
I'm beginning to even hate my former mates.
It's been nagging at me from before, even before all this band business came about. They ignore me, and then wonder why I'm so pissed.
WTFH.
I begin to think, do they discriminate me just becuase I'm of a different race?They pair off and leave me alone, and I really begin to wonder whether this was all worth it. In truth, most of them only met up because of me. All of us knew each other from an online forum, and I was the one who brought most of them together because I joined all of them in the same convo on msn.


..I feel so..
I can't find any words.
I can't push this to the back of my mind because everything I ever do is related to this.
I can't even draw because my mind is occupied with questions and thoughts.
I now find that I'm a failure.

I'm not persistent.
I "posses the wrong attitude".
I'm weak.
I let things like this get to me.

..I'm not the knight in shining armour anymore.
And sometimes, I get tired of protecting people. I get tired of trying to fix things, trying to make amends.
Sometimes I'm the one who needs protecting.


I feel sad now that I don't have the guts to even admit this to my few close friends.
Ayano.
Aiko.
Mitsuki.
Izumi.


You're the only ones left in my life, besides my friends online.

I don't want anything to push you guys away. When I came home and stared at Asagi sama on my wall, I apologized. I couldn't possibly follow in his footsteps. I'm not strong enough.



thank you everyone.
♥
I'm sorry I made your day greyer with my whiny posts.
I can't possibly help that.
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Friday, November 10, 2006

   awwwww crap.
/. Listening to : Tatoeba...kimi ga..shinda..ra - D'espairs ray
Mood: Sleepy and panicky


LIKE AWW SHITTTTTT.
THERE'S LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY TO THE 16TH OF DECEMBER-


AND YET I STILL HAVENT GOT TOGETHER MY COSPLAY.
OMFG
OMFG
OMFG
OMFG
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think a dress about...2 metres long in length can be sew together by hand in...5 weeks? >< -hitomi
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Tuesday, November 7, 2006

Update!
/.
Listening to: Taiyou wo Okuru hi - D
Mood : good

AAAAA. i got my results for my EOYs today!
I got all the classes I wanted;

ART
LITERATURE
BIO/CHEM


ahaha it's not alot, but then again, I'm not good with academics besides English and Literature :\
those subjects combined with Social Studies, Mother tongue and English. I have about 6 subjects in all I guess. I can't imagine my book list @_@
the cost...the Literature book is expensive.

meh.
I'm having Drama almost EVERYDAY. It's NOT a holiday at all. And we're shooting like a mini documentary on inter racail marriages. It bores me to death. Today during discussion, I exclaimed,"WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE DONE INCEST???"
XD
gosh. That's DEFINITELY me talking. Too much Dir en Grey for me.

ANDDDD
I finally have band meeting this Sunday! I miss my bandmembers ;_;
I feel kinda bad because all the past outings weren't arranged by me. They were 'coordinated' by my drummer, Hara. They all understand that since I was having my exams, I'd be busy and all that. But now, Hara's having HER exams. I can't expect her to always do the organising. =\
Sometimes I feel as though I'm not fit for the role of a leader. For one thing, I'm the youngest and most reackless among all four LOLIPOP members. I don't always think about my actions, and how they'll affect others. I'm selfish that way.

I have doubts within myself.

Hmmm. The only thing I'm glad about is the fact that I know that my vocals have improved. I don't know how, but they did. woa.
I don't think I'm strong enough to lead them. After all, I AM the youngest, the seemingly most IMMATURE, and the most reckless.

How can I possibly lead them if I'm like that?
I try to change, honestly. But, sometimes, I just don't think I'm cut out for this.


This was what I wanted.
I'm going to stick with it.











I hope.
=\
-hitomi


EDIT:
I have GOT to stop whining. ._.
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Sunday, November 5, 2006

{nnnn. some stuff.}
/.
Listening to: Destruction of SEXUAL - Syndrome
Mood: Sleepy


I was just surfing around theO, and I feel like cosplaying YGO.
To be specific, Isis Ishtar. I have her skin tone too! aaa it'll make things easier for me lol.Hmm.
Maybe I'll cosplay her at a-not-so-high-profiled cosplay event. Because I'm leaning more for Jrock cosplay,not Anime. Hmm..
Just a thought though. Whacha guys think?
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Saturday, November 4, 2006

   ....
I'm tired of all this bullshit they're giving us.


Enough is enough guys.
hmm.

-hitomi
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Thursday, November 2, 2006

   ...
....
I'm so pissed that I can't even type properly.
I dare you to go to my blogger and see what evils I've typed in the editor thingy.
here


....
-hitomi
oh, I'm not going to become an aneroxic. Aneroxics have to excercise loads, and I couldn't possibly arse myself to do that.
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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

   mehmeh
/.
listening to:Kasane no Irome - doremiDAN
mood: ...tummy ache ><


AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH.
LIQUID ONLY DIET FOR ME FROM NOW ON.

>|

Comments (2) | Permalink