Friday, March 11, 2005

Well snowcoming is tonight. I'm so excited!

I'm gonna have fun. w00t! Karen is here with me. Oh yea. Crazy coolness!

So anyways, I'm gonna have the time of my life and then come home and sleep. Yup. Thats all thats planned for the evening. I'll come on later or tomorrow and write about the event. Who knows, maybe something exciting will happen?
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Monday, March 7, 2005

   I Turn Around
you got a boy
you got a girl
sittin` underneath the tree
they sit there every day
and even though you may think
this is the way fate should be

it may not always be that way
you can`t take nothin` for granted
you gotta live life today

I turn around I can see what`s behind me
I turn back around I can see what`s ahead
and if you belive that i`ve been here all along
just turn around, just turn around.
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Sunday, March 6, 2005

   Yamato!
Oh yea, look its Yamato Ishida!!!!! OMG he is my new obsession.
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   Well that was shocking
Talk about shock. Well lets just say, reality hit me. Anthony came to me and said he's been 'staying away from me and trying to ignore me and lieing.' That was something I wasn't expecting. But I guess it's better that he realized he was being a jerk. I can't help but forgive him even though I want to be mad. I'm kinda disappointed though. I'll get over it eventually becuase he is my best friend after all even though he did that. So yea whatever.
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Saturday, March 5, 2005

   ooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy
Today I was busy. Gosh. I bought a boohbah. HUMBAH! and my brother got ZING ZING ZINGBAH. lucky. and i got meijer brand cola. oh yea. my brothers birthday is coming up. he'll be 9. so i bought a bunch of paper parasols and i'm gonna wear'em in my hair. why you might ask? because i can. so like today was boring. i got my hair cut, played some video games. went shopping for a bit. later i'm going to go watch some old videos i used to watch when i was like 3. :) yes and anyways, i'm now obsessed with digimon...someone help me!!! my brother started watching the digimons videos we have again and now i'm obsessed. well i was obsessed when it first came out but this is really weird. i stopped watching digimon awhile ago...so gah!!! yea thats about it.

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Friday, March 4, 2005

   Creativity flows through my veins.
Well, in history we have a project thats due on March 11. Funny thing is I finished it last night. Then I did all this stuff for history, so that means I'll have nothing to do today.

In my mod tech class I got to play with legos! It was fun! Except while I was working on part of the project my partner was building a house out of the legos so he wasn't much help except he knows most of the legos parts now so he helps me gather the pieces i need for the project.

Anywho, I feel so creative today. And next week is snowcoming...actually its more like snow going....yea but its going to be so much fun! Me and Karen hung out at my house for a bit last night and she saw my shoes and was like 'those are some hooker shoes if i ever see some' it was so funny. So she went to my mom and was like 'ella, if i asked my mom to buy me these she'd say no, but ashley asks you and you say go ahead? what is that???' My mom laughed at her and after we put the shoes away we went outside for a bit but then i had to leave to goto the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. so while i waited for my dad me and karen ran around in to snow and had fun.


thats about it. nothing eventful has happened except having c lunch instead of b lunch for scheleduling which pissed me off because i didn't want c lunch cuz i know no one there. well except cory but he should die. yea like i said thats about it.
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Tuesday, March 1, 2005

   llama llama duck
here's a llama, there's a llama
and another little llama
fuzzy llama, funny llama
llama, llama, duck

llama, llama, cheesecake, llama
tablet, brick, potato, llama
llama, llama, mushroom, llama
llama, llama, duck

I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake
but I never saw the way, the orange slayed the rake
I was only three years dead, but it told a tale
and now listen little child, to the safety rail

did you ever see a llama
kiss a llama, on the llama
llama's llama, tastes of llama
llama, llama, duck

half a llama, twice a llama
not a llamma, farmer, llama
llama in a car, alarm a
llama, llama, duck

is that how it's told now, is it not so old
is it made of lemon juice, doorknob, ankle, cold
now my song is getting thin, I've run out of luck
time for me to retire now, and become a duck

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Sunday, February 27, 2005

   Welcome to the life of the teenage devil....
Haha. I am dubbed the spawn of satan. I personally don't care. Cuz everyone knows its true. No innocence for me.

Oh yea. Cory, you will die. Its just a matter of time. I will be revenged.

Fuck, I just had to goto the band room and get all the great and the not great memories. What the hell was I thinking this summer? Was I drugged? Whatever it was I never wanted to remember. I was so close to losing who I am. Without the support of Anthony, Natalie and Jeanie, all would be lost. I like turned all badass over the summer, it's not even funny. Maybe solitude and anger takes a toll on the mind? All I know is Cory asks me why I give him dirty looks, and then a whole new wave of anger broke through. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know why I'm pissed with him. Honestly, he of all people. What made everything worse was when Troy got upset with me. He found out that I used to cut and got all pissed and stopped talking to me. Then right when I lost all hope on things ever returning to normal he comes back asking for forgiveness. He abandoned me when I needed him most and I wasn't about to just take him back. He knew everything too. He knew I hid my feelings. As a matter a fact I still do. People only see hatred from me. But Troy, he told me to stop cutting and to stop acting stupid, and when I told him I couldn't that it didn't just work that way he left. What kind of friend is like that? If it weren't for Anthony I for sure would be dead, but I couldn't leave him behind. It seems my whole life is a joke. Right after Troy abandoned my, we all found out Anthony had diabetes. That killed my last bit of...well...heart. After that I was claimed to have a 'stone heart' and that if you checked I wouldn't have a heartbeat. Well that didn't help so I just stopped seeing things that weren't worth seeing. When Troy came back he said that he saw me like 4 times a day everyday and it made him think and my reply was 'you see me everyday?' and of course he says 'yea didn't you notice?' and my reply was simple, 'i don't see anything that isn't worth seeing anymore' That got him made but I was clearly pissed with him so he just ignored it. So now that everything has fallen apart, I'm slowly picking back up the pieces and bringing all the people I tore apart back together. I just hope this time I get a happier ending. But one can only hope. It'll take time to restore the once peaceful life of mine. My family is falling apart, my friends are turning against one another, I'm not able to believe in myself. It never mattered about my family because I have hated them for cursing me. My mother is obese and my father is gay. What sorta family is that? My brother is just a little asshole drug dealer in the making, I can just see it now. Most of my friends will just leave me behind after high school because I can't risk trusting new people. I'll just lose myself to new pain by then. How come every time I do something, something bad has to happen to make it worse? Why can't I just do something and be left alone? A fake smile and act can only fool people for so long. Then I look at the world and think 'its great to live in a world built only on hate and anger'. We fight for meaningless things. We feel the need to place the blame on someone who is different when something goes wrong. When are we ever going to actually take the blame for what we do. And then that asshole bush. Why the hell does he need to keep this fucking war going? If he would just leave them damn countries to wallow in their own problems we wouldn't have all these problems.

enough of my ranting...
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Friday, February 25, 2005

   Let's go band!
Today I had to give a presentation at the middle school. Afterwards, I got to visit all of my teachers. I saw Mr. Casier, Mrs. Schurig, Mr. Maisano and Mrs. Brown. They were all happy to see me. All my teachers love me. Then Mrs. Brown asked the sixth grade brass band if they wanted to play 'Let's Go Band' for me and my friend Alyssa (arinekogomu) and they said 'YEA!' and so I got to listen to them play. I can't be mean about their playing badly but, yea they are still learning. I remember sounding that bad. I miss band so much. But with every choice there is a consequence. I chose my career over fun. And it was a sorta win/win situation. I didn't lose my opportunity for my future and I got to keep my clarinet! So I can still play, but just not in band. But I goto every band event. I wanna join the band boosters. I might start a band groupie club. lol. That would have like two members...me and kim. But thats ok! Ironically me and kim both like anthony sooooo we have a reason to go. Plus all over our friends are in band too. So yea that's another reason. hehe
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Thursday, February 24, 2005

   w00t

I made this too!!!


Time for another long post! Well tonight is the high school band concert. I'm going and its going to be so much fun. I get to watch my friends play music. See, most of my friends are BAND GEEKS(GO BAND GEEKS w00t!!!!!1!!111!). I used to be one but I got excepted into a school for advanced individuals. :( Not like its a bad thing, but it takes up 3 hours of my day so I never get to see my friends.



Yea so anyways, I get to goto the concert, take pictures, make movies and then hang around with a few friends. I'll upload the pictures either tomorrow or saturday.

Besides that, my biology research project is finally taking off. I think my babies(the plants we planted) are dieing....but i can't tell. My teacher is a plant killer so I don't trust him. I make fun of his name. Estapa. Reminds me of Finding Nemo and the 'escape, funny it's spelt just like escape' thing.


Well, the band kids were gone all morning and came back during my lunch period so the got to goto my lunch. I got to hang out with Anthony and Jeanie. Anthony ripped the paper-plastic stuff off my Pepsi bottle, then ripped the paper in half, shoved his hand into my pocket on my hoodie and grabbed a pen and wrote 'best friends' on the two pieces of paper, walked up to some random table and said 'will you be my friend?' someone said yes and he yelled no and ran away. It was pretty funny.


In history, the last class of the day the teacher told us we can't line up at the door because kids were pulling wires out of the computer. I know who did it too. I was standing right there watching them. Damn you John, Jordan and Nick. So now we are stuck in our seats all during class, how boring is that?


Yes well anyways hunger has taken ahold of me.
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