Thursday, November 3, 2005

   (Veiwer Disgression Is Advised) FUCK!!!
Yeah that is exactly how my day went. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and felt lousy already I get to school and head down to rotc everything goes normal till inbetween 2nd and 3rd block which is when I normally see Jenna, well I had already come up with something witty to say but first I had to use one of my hugs... big mistake she sighed when she gave me the hug... this did not make my day better, I decided to keep my mouth shut and wait to see what happened next... FUCK!!!... 3rd block was a waist all I did was sit there and mope around to understand where I went wrong... It did not come to me. After 3rd block ended I had to suck it up and take charge of 4th block heaven know that Zach (dude in 2nd command of unit) won't. I barley did anything but when we played flagfootball I forgot about my problems and I cracked a smile here or there. After class my problems all came back in a giant wave of hurt... FUCK!!!... The only good thing is I took the time to look around and well, alot of people do care, Sonja, Kristi, and Nicole aside from laughing at me were really concerned and wanted to know why I was being a deusch (my vocabulary sucks when it comes to spelling) Then right after I blatantly told Sonja,"I'm pissed because Jenna chose Shawn over me" She laughed, which made me crack a smile. and said no way. Then Jenna walks in, goes straight towards me and asks are you upset Ithink to my self 'No shit what do you think I've only been turned down by the girl of my dreams fo some guy that said he 'likes' her' I nod my head, she gives me a hug and says, "This one is free... I'm just trying to do what I think is right" ... FUCK!!!... I respond trying to pretend I'm ok, "Can't argue with a freebie" and head out the door to take a make up chem 2 test... I was too distracted to even think about chemistry (aka I failed it) I headed back to rotc to grab some pizza from the pizza party and the forst thing I see is Jenna and Shawn sitting next to each other... FUCK!!!... I ignore them grab to slices eat them and leave, I had to get out of there before I knocked the shit out of Shawn, I ran up to the pull up bars and did a couple sets of 5 then I ran around the school, It still didn't help I still wanted to kill Shawn, but if I did that I'm pretty sure Jenna would get mad. So I suck it up and head back and what do I see a group of rotc guys 'wrastling' (backyard last one standing wrestling) Of course I immediatley want to challenge Shawn but he is busy with someone else, so I blow off my steam on 4 guys before I settle down I won 2 lost 1 and tied the last one. I felt great next to come was the rotc booster club meeting, which is what we were all waiting for while we beat the crap out of each other. I sit down and Shawn has the nerve to sit next to me and say, "Hows it goin" I stare him down and think 'Its goin alright it would be goin alot better if I just gutted you right here and threw your carcas off the empire state builing' but all I really say is,"It's goin" *Surprisingly* (That stands for sarcasm) he decides to move to the opposite end of the room, now it went boring until halfway through the meeting Jenna's mom comes through the door and sits next to me... FUCK!!!... Can you say awkward all I had to do was mention Shanw and Jenna and her mom would have killed Shawn herself but I decided not to because Jenna would kill me if I did and I wouldn't want to be ratted out either. The meeting ends and I head home. Thinking thinking what can I do that might tip the scale in my favor I have to do something but what... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I need to talk to her but I never have enough time or its never the right place... it has to be soon other wise I'll never get in... I'll just right a note... man but that is lame I want to just say it to her face... Its that or nothing... Wish me luck

later
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