Friday, November 4, 2005

I'm in a better mood
Well I got to school in a nervous fit. I had a floppy disk (you can't read my hand writing so I typed it) with basically my heart on it. It was exactly how I felt, the only question was would I take it to Jenna... I went down to rotc and put it in her CMC box but it was difficult to see because it blended in so I put a peice of paper under it so she would check her box. I was curious and nervous as hell, but the curious won so I went hurridly down to rotc after 2nd block, I normally see Jenna during this short time period. She was not there, I checked her box and the paper was pushed back and the disk was moved, this could mean she just saw my name on the disk and shoved it back or that she read it. I really don't know. All I know is that in 4th block she stopped by didn't even make eye contact with me, she headed to the staff office but turned and left... I have no idea what that means. So school lets out Jenna is gone and the disk is still in her box... I still don't know what that means. SO I got to rugby practice and lift weights until I die (I have to now in order to relieve stress, the only problem is when I do that I get stronger so when I do lose my temper I'll really hurt some one... what should I do) So right as I'm picking up my gear and well Stasi calls me (Stasi is my ex-girlfriend from middle school the only reason we aren't going out is because she goes to a different school) I was extatic this girl was my first love and girlfriend. First I prayed to God and told him to stop messing with me because I'm being driven nuts. I anwser and she needs a ride home of course I agree (like hell I would say no) then I called my mom and asked if she would give Stasi a ride home after tonights football game. She said yes woot a chance to talk to Stasi. I go home shower and put on my uniform(I had to command a colorgaurd for the game which ment I get in for free) we only messed up twice so I was pleased after that I changed and put on deodarent. I headed down and walked through the gate, I left immediatley in order to go see stasi but her school kicked me out of the stands when I cheered when my team scored a touchdown (go figure) So I spent the first half in my side with the girls that did colorgaurd with me Sonja mentioned Jenna and I was back in depressed mode. Then Stasi called me and asked me to come over... I ran... I got over there and Sarah (another ex was there) They were best friends so I wasn't afaird, they both greeted me with a hug, which doesn't say much. I really wanted to talk to Satsi but sarah dragged me off to talk with all my old friends from middle school. We walked over to my side and after an awkward silence I hugged her good bye and rejoined my friends... at about 5 minutes left in the game we were losing 17 to 14 I went over to Stasis side so she could glote. But right when I said hi her school BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! really loud... I turned around and my school had just scored a touchdown. End game was 21 to 17 we won, I really didn't care I was there for Stasi, which didn't really get me anything because she told me she only liked to date guys in her school so she can see them everyday... this sucks, God has to be messing with me... I can't drive so I called my mom to come pick us up Stasi got cold so I walked her up to the gym where she curled up in a ball and layed on the floor. During this time I made a copuple more passes and plenty of misses towards Stasi she smiled and knoked them all down. My mom arrived and we drove her back to her house I offered to walk her up to her house but she declined, sigh I'm just not good with girls, I don't think I'll ever get a girlfriend.

later
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