Monday, September 19, 2005

   Blind?
Tonight, I cooked chicken and biscuits for Mitch and his roommates for dinner around 10:00 or so. I actually started earlier than that, of course, but it took rather long to cook due to the amount of chicken in the gravy and such. Apparently, it came out good. I wouldn't know, due to the fact that I am a vegetarian and all, but I was taught well by my mum. I love to cook, so it makes me feel good when others like the food that I cann;ot eat (or choose not to eat). I also got in extra time at work tonight by doing extra work that I was not technically supposed to do, but whatever. It makes me look good when I do more than is asked of me.
Anywho, I want to check something out...

Signs and Symptoms

[X]Noticeable weight loss
[X]Becoming withdrawn
[X]Excessive exercise
[ ]Fatigue
[X]Always being cold
[X]Muscle weakness
[X]Obsession with food, calories, recipes
[X]Excuses for not eating meals (ie. ate earlier, not feeling well)
[X]Unusual eating habits (ie. cutting food into tiny pieces, picking at food)
[X]Noticeable discomfort around food
[ ]Complaining of being "too fat", even when thin
[X]Cooking for others, but not eating themselves
[ ]Restricting food choices to only diet foods
[X]Guilt or shame about eating
[X]Depression, irritability, mood swings
[ ]Evidence of vomiting, laxative abuse, diet pills or diuretics to control weight
[X]Irregular menstruation
[X]Amenorrhea(loss of menstruation)
[X]Wearing baggy clothes to hide weight loss
[X]Frequently checking weight on scale
[X]Fainting spells and dizziness
[X]Difficulty eating in public
[X]Very secretive about eating patterns
[ ]Pale complexion (almost a pasty look)
[X]Headaches
[X]Perfectionistic attitude
[ ]Feelings of self worth determined by what is or is not eaten
[X]No known physical illness that would explain weight loss

Oh good...I am fucked.

No wonder I can't sleep right now. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, just needs a hug...aluve'

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

   *shrugs*
Hmmm...3:27 in the morning, and I am still awake. I love how this works from time to time...the fact of me not sleeping and such. Today was one of the first good days I have had in a while. Last night after rehearsal, I watched wedding crashers with Chris, and then we went to Empire around 11:00 so I could get a smoothie and call it my dinner. Then we went back to his room and watched some Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and I passed out whilst watching that. I woke up around 4:00 or so to see his roommate playing Diablo II on his laptop, and Chris had crawled into his bed. I just pulled the blanket over my head and fell back to sleep on the futon. I woke up around 8:30 to find the roommate passed out on the floor right next to the futn, which freaked me out at first. I decided to get up and such since I had worksession this morning. I got up and took a shower, ate breakfast, and then headed over to the theatre for the day to build sets. It was a good time -- I like to be kept busy. After worksession, I headed over to Mitch's place to hang out before going to the movies. It was another APO Rush event; we went to see 40-Year Old Virgin...I must say, the ending was the best I have seen in a long time...I couldn't stop laughing. After that, I headed back to my room and talked to Ted for the first time in a couple of days -- that made me happy. I miss talking to him and seeing him every day. It's a part of life though, I am afraid. After those fun shenannegins, I headed over to Hitsman's place to watch I, Robot. I liked that movie. I also used it as a reference for my characters in R.U.R. After the movie, I headed back to my room and had a good talk with one of Mitch's roommates. I am most likely going to end up living down in their apartment with them before the end of the semester de to the fact that my roommate and I don't get along too well. Besides that, I am in a good mood, so that's a plus. ^_^
Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is going to attempt this new sleep thing...aluve'




You're Albert Einstein! You are incredibly smart,
although, you know that you do make mistakes
like everyone else. You are kind, but you spend
most of your time studying or doing
experiments.


Which famous (or infamous) person are you a reincarnation of?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Monday, September 12, 2005

   Sunday...w(h)oot
Well, the weekend is just about over now. It's currently 11:50 on Sunday night. The weekend wasn't too bad...on Friday I did the working thing, and then I went to Alpha Pi Omega's (APO) movie night to watch The Incredibles. APO is the service fraternity that I am pledging to this year. That's right, I said Fraternity. It's a Co-Ed fraternity. Anyway, that went well, and then I went to the Townhouses afterward to ang out with some of my upper-classmen friends. I got bored evenutally, so I headed back to the dorms, getting hit on by some drunken fools on the way back. >.< I ended up watching the last half of the Shawshank Redemption and Animal House with Chris when I got back. Around 3:30 a.m., I went back to my room so Chris could go to sleep. I was wide awake, so I decided to pull an all-nighter. I stayed up all night, talking with Mitch's roommate, Rich. I watched the sunrise that morning, and watched some squirrels play in the courtyard. It was a good morning. What made it better was the fact that I thought my roommate was gone for the weekend due to the fact that she wasn't in the room when I got back. Unfortunately, when 9:00 rolled around, she showed up, and told me to turn off the music that I was playing because she was "very fucking tired" and didn't want to "deal with my bullshit." I just stared at her blankly. It seems like the only time that we talk is when she has something to bitch at me about. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Luckily, I hat to leave for Worksession soon after she came back. Worksession went well...I cleaned and organized the costume/props closet. After that, I went over to State and walked around with Gretchen for a while. We complained about our roommates, and she came over and met mine, and completely agreed with me. ^_^ Friends are great like that. That evening, I went to Mitch's place and baked two batches of chocolate chip cookies for roughly 2 hours due to the fact that they only had one cookie sheet, and I make almost 10 dozen cookies. We then watched Team America. I got back to my room around midnight after having been up for 40 hours straight, only to find that my roommate was watching crap TV, turned up full blast. "It's my TV, and I am going to watch it whenever I want to." There was no way that I was going to be able to sleep. I went down to Chris's room to watch Escaflowne on Adult Swim, and ended up passing out on his futon. I am so lucky to have friends like that. I woke up today around 11:30, which was about two nights' worth of sleep for me, so it all equalled out. I had a long conversation with my Mumsie today, and I told her that I wouldn't be able to tolerate living with my roommate for another week. It's too late to switch rooms...it sucks.
Sometimes, I hate my life. Not the entire thing, just parts of it. This is an example. Sometimes I want to escape to my own little world. This wouldn't be a perfect fantasy world...it would be my life with a couple of things changed. There would still be pain and suffering, because what is life without that? One thing I would change would be to still have my roommate from last year. Another thing I would change would be the ay I think about some things. One major thing would be the way I thought about myself. I would not have the image in my head that I was fat, or imperfect in some way. I would love and respect my body instead of killing it slowly by not eating much. I know that a few people are worried about me. I try not to let them worry by going to eat dinner with them or whatnot, but it's not the same, I suppose. I hate when people worry about me. The fact that I have been stressed lately is not helping either. Things will get better though. I am not being optimistic, I am just saying that it's inevitable. Either I move out of my room and stay with Mitch and his roommates at their place, or I sleep on Chris's futon for a while, or I suck it up until the end of the semester. Either way, something is going to happen. *shrugs* That's life for you.
On a completely different topic, I ran out of dental floos a week ago, and things just haven't been the same without it. =P
Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to enjoy her Christmas pajamas...aluve'



You were betrayed. You were betrayed by someone
very close to you in a past life and you have
still never forgotten it. Either you were
killed by a best friend or ratted out by one,
but it still hurt you very deeply and you don't
trust hardly anyone anymore.


How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Saturday, September 10, 2005

   4:08 in the morning, and all's well
So, yeah, an all-nighter for me. Thought I'd post something about myself...



Firsts
1. First best friend: Jenna Thibert
2. First car: Chrystler Cirrus
3. First break-up: Adam Beach
4. First screen name: PyroGurl123
5. First self-purchased album: Backstreet Boys
6. First funeral: My mother's husband's father
7. First pets: Black Lab
8. First piercing: Ears
9. First credit card: Discover
10. First enemy: Ashley Hunter
11. First big trip: Cape Cod, Mass.

The lasts:
1. Last car ride: From Riverside back to my Dorm
2. Last good cry: Second to last week of camp on a Thursday
3. Last library book checked out: Hate You
4. Last movie seen in theatres: Mr. and Mrs. Smith
5. Last beverage drank: Cheap Beer
6. Last food consumed: Pizza
7. Last crush: Ted
8. Last phone call: Mumsie
9. Last time showered: About 12 hours ago
10. Last shoes worn: Camp Sneakers
11. Last item bought: Sprinkles (Jimmies)
12. Last annoyance: Drunken idiots

Relationships:
1. Who are your best friends?: Nicole, Brother Daniel, Mitch
2. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes

Fashion:
1. Where is your favorite place to shop? Hot Topic, I suppose
2. Any tattoos or piercing? Piercings: 3 in ears, and 1 in navel

Specifics:
1. Do you do drugs? >.> <.<
2. What kind of shampoo do you use? Aussie
3. What are you listening to right now? Cartoon Network
4. Where do you want to get married? Outside
5. How many buddies are online? 54

Favorites:
1. Color: Red
2. Food: Peanut Butter
3. Subjects in school: Science
4. Animals: Wolf
5. Sports: Soccer, Volleyball

Have you ever:
1. Given anyone a bath/shower? My little siblings
2. Smoked? Yes
3. Bungee jumped? Nope, but owuld like to
4. Made yourself throw up? Yes
5. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? Yes
6. Cried when someone died? Yes
7. Lied? Who hasn't?
8. Fallen for your best friend? At one time
9. Rejected someone? Plenty of times
10. Used someone? Probably
11. Done something you regret? Who hasn't?

Current:
1. Clothes? Jeans, white t-shirt, undergarments, striped socks
2. Music? N/A
3. Make-up? Eyeliner, coverup
4. Annoyance? Insomnia
5. Smell? Smeagol (my anole)
6. Desktop picture? FLCL
7. Book you're reading? Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic
8. CD in player? The Pillows
9. DVD in player? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
10. Color of toenails? Painted pink

Last person:
1. You touched? Chris
2. Hugged? Mitch
3. You instant messaged? Rich

Are you:
1. Understanding? I try to be
2. Open-minded? On some subjects
3. Insecure? At times
4. Hungry? No
5. Smart? I would like to think so
6. Moody? Sometimes
7. Hardworking? Yes
8. Organized? Very
9. Healthy? Probably not, with the way I eat
10. Shy? Depends on the situation
11. Bored easily? Yes
12. Responsible? Yes
13. Obsessed? With some things...
14. Angry? At times
15. Sad? At times
16. Disappointed? Not right now
17. Happy? Content
18. Hyper? Not at the moment
19. Trusting? Hardly so

Whom do you want to:
1. Kill? Ignorant people
2. Punch? See above
3. Get high with? Nick (lol)
4. Look like? Myself
5. Talk to offline? Ted
6. Talk to online? See above
7. Hang out with? My Camp Wabasso Crew

Random:
1. In the morning I am: Ready for a run
2. All I need is: A Hug
3. Love is: Something that I have never experienced
4. I dream about: Many things...most of which will never become reality

Random:
1. Last person you danced with: Frenchie
2. Worst question to ask: What's wrong?
3. Who makes you laugh the most? Mitch
4. Who/what makes you smile: Ted, Chris, Mitch, LOTR
5. Who do you have a crush on: N/A
6. Who has a crush on you? Don't know

Do you ever:
1. Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to instant message you: Yes
2. Save conversations: Yuppers
3. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Not really
4. Wish you were younger: No
5. Cry because someone said something to you: Yes

Number:
1. Of times I have had my heart broken: 3.5
2. Of hearts I have broken: More than I would like to admit
3. Of continents: 7
5. Of CDs I own: A lot
6. Of scars on body: ...Enough

So, yeah, that's me...at 4:04 in the morning...

I suppose I should waste my time elsewhere...Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off for now...aluve'

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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

   Not this again...
Look at that...I am up later than I ought to be. I really hope this doesn't turn into insomnia again...I can't handle that. Today was an alright day for the most part. I had Spectroscopy lab from 8:00-10:45, and that was all I had for classes today. After that, I walked to town to get some crickets for Smeagol (my anole) and some shampoo. Then I did laundry, got some homework done, went to the gym, and went out to dinner after having yet another lecture about my eating habits. Work was for half an hour tonight, and then I had rehearsal. I was happy to learn earlier today that I got the part in our production that I wanted. We are doing a play called R.U.R., and I got the part of Radius -- a crazy robot. It'll be a fun part to do...death and destruction. What's more entertaining? After rehearsal, I made the mistake of going to State for movie night...I haven't done that since first semester, and I probably won't be going back anytime soon. I have been in an odd mood for the past couple of days. It's kind of like a depressive state, I suppose. I don't know what it is either. I was trying to figure it out last night. I figure it's just a readjustment thing that I am going through. It seems like I have friends here, but no one close enough that I can confide in. I went through the same thing last year. I lived with the same people every day for three months or so during the summer...and I never really had anyone incredibly close to me there either...oh I don't know. I miss Ted, what can I say? It's strange, because I have never felt that way before. Soon enough, I will be dreading the day that I have to leave college again. That's the way it seems to be with me. *shrugs* I had a whole thing plotted out why I felt the way I do, but when it comes to typing it out here, I can't seem to bring it back up. Figures. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to attempt the sleep thing...aluve'




Heart Tattoo


What tattoo would you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Sunday, September 4, 2005

   Meh
Well, the weekend is just about over. It's 1:20 on a Sunday afternoon...and I have nothing to do. I love getting my homework done early, but that leaves me with nothing to do on Sundays. I guess I should just appreciate the fact that I have free time right now. Friday night was the semi-party for Mitch's birthday. It was fun. I ended up having too much to drink, but I never got sick or anything, so that's always a plus. I ended up staying the night down at their place. That night I ended up getting three drunken phone calls...I felt special. The first one was from Ted...needless to say I was happy for the rest of the night. I had a big grin on my face after getting his phone call. I am sure it would have been interesting listening to the conversation of two drunk people at different parties. ^_^ The last one came from Chris around 2:30 or so, when I was asleep, but I woke up right before he called. That was also amusing. On Saturday, the town that my college is in had a thing that was called "First Saturday." It's a thing where a bunch of local businesses have special promotions and whatnot for the new/returning students. I went to town with a couple of guys...we got some free comic books, and then went out to pizza. Then Mitch and I went out and bought some hemp and beads to make an Inu Yasha necklace for his Halloween costume. He is going as Inu Yasha, and I am going as Kagome. Tee-hee. It will be fun. Saturday afternoon, I hung out with my friend Andrew, and later that night I went down to Chris's room to watch a bad horror movie and the Cowboy Bebop movie on Adult Swim. That brings me back to Sunday...with nothing to do. I love getting up early still...but then I have nothing to do for the remainder of the day. I have to work tonight for an hour...it's not too bad. I like the work...it's just bagging cookies and muffins. The cook likes me too, and she got me more hours of work, actually. So that's pretty cool. Anyway, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, has people to visit and cheer up...aluve'




Your bikini...your just right not to sluty not to
boring the world needs more people like you


Whats your Underwear Type?
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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

   Ugh..
Well, what can I say? I can't stand my roommate for the most part. I don't know what it is...it's just like an aura of bitchiness just surrounds her. I do not feel comfortable in my own room. I have been spending as much time out of my room as possible. Basically, I am staying in my room to sleep, and that's about it. >.< It makes me look like a fool when I know that I picked her as a roommate as well. Honestly, I didn't know anyone else that I could room with. It actually got to the point last night where I was quasi-homesick. Well, I wasn't as homesick as I was camp-sick. I went on to a friend's website and printed off some pictures from Camp to be able to be reminded of my summer. It's strange...it was harder to leave college last year for summer break, but I am feeling more camp-sick than I ever felt school-sick. It's odd, but whatever. I spent most of the night feeling rather down, and I took my Physics homework down to my friend Mitch's place after talking to Ted online. Mitch gives me five days before I start bringing my belongings down to his place and start to stay as a quasi-permanent guest. I am not sure what I am going to do, to be completely honest. I came back to my room last night around 12:30 to find that the volume on my laptop had been muted. I know it's not that big of a deal, but the fact that my roommate touched my laptop just pisses me off. She told me that people were IMing me, and it was pissing her off because she was trying to sleep. I just wanted to set a password on my computer on my screensaver and turn the volume all the way up...just out of spite. If it gets worse throughout the semester, I might just have to do that. I was talking to my Mumsie earlier today, and I told her that two of Mitch's roommates are going to be leaving next semester, and she told me that I should just live with Mitch and his other roommate for the second semester. I love the way that woman thinks! The thing is, even if it was alright with Mitch and his roommate, I don't know if Ted would appreciate me living with two other guys. *shrugs* I don't know.
Also, last night, something was explained to me in a way that I have never heard it before. Somehow I got into a conversation about love with a friend, and the way that he described the feelings he had when he was in love just made so much sense to me. It almost made me believe in love without ever having experienced it. I have asked people about it before, but never before has it been talked about like it was last night. It is hard for me to regurgitate what was said last night, so I am not even going to try. It was just an eye-opener for me. Anywho, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to Statistics...aluve'




Instead of a quiz result, I decided to put in a picture of out last campfire that took us an hour to build. It was about 6 feet in diameter, and we had the wood stacked almost as high...a true marvel. ^_^
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Monday, August 29, 2005

   Eating, Part 1
So, today I went to write my roommate a note on a post-it because I was going to go visit my best friend Dan at his college (15 minutes from mine). As I went to write said note, I noticed that the first page of my post-its had been written on. Ted left me a note before he left...and it just brightened my day. I woke up today in an odd mood, not knowing why. I was feeling strange about the whole new roommate thing, for starters. I was so used to the neat-freak of a roommate that I had last year that I was glad to have someone neat like me. I can tell that my new roommate is not nearly as OCD as I am. So, that got me feeling a bit strange. Then, I suppose that there were other things as well...like the fact that my key card still won't let me into my building, and then fact that I am getting back into college mode quickly now due to the fact that all of my friends are back now. I got lectured again today...but that is nothing unusual for me at this point. It comes down to the fact that I need to eat more, but I am having trouble convincing myself to. "Don't convince yourself...just do it." Sage words of advice indeed. The thing is, I know that I look rather disgusting right now, and I know that I need to eat more, but when it comes down to it, I can't force myself to eat more. I am so worried about the flatness of my stomach that it is rediculous. I don't want other people to worry about me though. I am slowly killing myself the way I am going. I am starting running again in the morning before classes as well, so I definitely need to do something different. >.< I just don't want things to change...

Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is going to bed...aluve'




Your first kiss will be passionate. You love love
and to be loved and you want to let your
partner know how much you care. You can be a
little closed up to some people but you don't
hide things. Your first kiss is special to you
because you think of it as a part of yourself,
and that's why its so passionate.


What will your first kiss look like? (beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, August 26, 2005

   Happy Birthday to me
Happy 19th to me. Woot. So, I was over at my friend Mitch's place watching Donnie Darko. It got done around 12:30 a.m. or so, and I headed back to my dorm. Come to find out, my key card wouldn't read in the lock. >.< I was lucky to have a guy's cell number that lives in the same building as me. I was just thinking to myself "What a way to start off my birthday." I should be sleeping right now...I have to get up at 6:00 to get ready to help the Freshmen move in, but I am currently on AIM talking with a couple of people, and I decided to update once again. I think I realized today that I have a completely f-ed up body image of myself. I mean, I know that I am thin...too thin because of camp, but I can't stand the thought of gaining any weight that I lost this summer. I have been eating though, because I don't want another collapsing episode. I sometimes get worried about myself in such ways. Sometimes, I don't know what to do. *shrugs* It shall be a good day. After I help move in the freshmen, I get to celebrate my birthday. Let the party begin. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to bed...aluve'




You're smart! You love to read and is very nice and
polite. There is probably nothing in this world
you don't know! Some people may thing you're
nerdy, but that's not true. You're smart and
that's that!


What Type of Schoolgirl Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

   One Day Until My Birthday
Well, here I am...all unpacked and moved into the dorm for another year of college life. Let's see now...yesterday I got up here around 1:00 or so, and brought up all of my things to my room. Then I left with Mitch to go downtown to the pet store and purchase an anole (an early birthday present for me). They are quite entertaining little creatures, which is always good. After that, I came back to my room to unpack. I finally got all of me things organized, which makes me happy, so I took out the anoles to play with afterward. It was nice to sleep in the college beds again...I love the mattresses. Today I woke up around 7:30 or so, and just decided to get up for the day. I took a shower and ate breakfast, and then I headed over to buy my books. >.< Way too expensive for my tastes...upwards of $400. Ack. I went to the bank afterward to deposit some money from my grandmother, and then I stopped by the place that I worked last semester to see if I could get a job again this year. All I have to do is to talk to the people here to make sure that Work Study students are still being sent there, and I will be all set. Let's hope that works out well. This afternoon I have a meeting to attend because I am helping the Freshmen move in tomorrow, so I have to get a T-shirt and such. Fun times. After that is all over with, I am probably going to meet up with Gretchen (because she is coming up to college today) and get some din din. Tomorrow will be a day of moving in freshmen and then party-time. W(h)oot. My roommate will be here on Saturday, along with most of my other friends. That will be a good day as well, I can only imagine. Well, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to hang up some decorations...aluve'




MYSTIC BEAUTY - You are eccentric, enigmatic, and
intriguing. You keep to yourself and so no one
knows the real you. You prefer the solace and
quiet of your own company over big crowds of
people. You are highly intelligent but you do
everything your own way. You come off as quirky
or weird and most people don't understand you
at all. You are probably a little disorganized.
You probably also seem distant and dreamy but
that's because you're off in your own little
world.


What type of beauty do you possess? (20 questions + 7 results + pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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