Sunday, June 26, 2005

   My Best Friend's Girlfriend Hates Me
And that is the truth. I went to the drive-ins tonight with my best friend and his girlfriend, and she was totally silent the entire time. She never said one word to me, and was a total bitch to Dan (my best friend). I felt bad, but I don't know what I did wrong. Dan invited me along, so it was not my fault at all. Oh well. I know that not everyone in this life will like me, and that is perfectly fine with me. I would rather have it that way, in all honesty. So, today was a day of graduation parties. It kept me busy, so that is a plus. I enjoyed the two that I went to. It was nothing extravagant or anything, just a couple of small parties with some friends. I don't have much to say tonight. I have a few things on my mind...but that is nothing unusual. My talk that I had with my Mumsie last night was great. I think I mentioned that in my last post, but I don't feel like going back to check it out. I really appreciate what she does for me. I tell her that all the time, so she definitely knows it. We think the same way, but she also has different viewpoints on life than I do. She wonders why I over-analyze things and am so serious all of the time. I think it is a defense mechanism. It's also why I don't show my emotions as well. I am afraid of getting hurt. I asked her if she ever thought that I would fall in love. She told me that she was sure I would, and it would come when I least expect it. Isn't that such a "Mom" thing to say? She's probably right though, from what I have heard from other people. I always wonder what it will feel like to fall in love. It is just an intriguing concept for me. The fact that so much emotion can be put into one person...your all can be put into making everything right for that person...I just can't fathom it. I found this one thing that I saved the other day...I had written it down in a notebook years ago, but I think it fits perfectly with this entry:
"Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them?
When the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips you miss them?
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wish you had not, or saying nothing and wish you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them, words shrink things that seemed timeless when they were in your head...
To no more than living size when they are brought out...
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart,
If you don't, you might break their heart...
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own...when you least suspect it...or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person might not care as much, or not at all.
Have you ever loved someone and they had no idea whatsoever? Or fall for your best friend in the entire world, and then sat around and watched him/her fall for someone else?
Have you ever denied you feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie...thing thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires us to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had.
No one waits forever..."
And with that, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is out...aluve'


Okay so I'm guessing your self image is a little
bit bigger than your actual skill, but that's
okay your school has a nice gym! Also you'll
have to surive the constant dane of
Yanagisawa...er good luck!


Which Prince of Tennis team do you belong on?
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Saturday, June 25, 2005

   Training Week 1...Complete
My first week of training for Camp Counselor went well. We are all getting along so far, so that's a plus. Of course, there are some people that are going to get on my nerves, but that is to be expected. Tonight was graduation, and that was nice. It only lasted about and hour and a half or so (27 people graduating). Saturday I am going to go to a couple of graduation parties. Sunday is probably another graduation party, and then on Monday I go back to camp for another week of training. My family is planning on going camping over the 4th of July weekend. I am thinking about staying at home alone, just because I will be camping all summer from now on, that I don't think that I will want to do that on my days off as well. I am not completely sure as of yet though...I suppose it depends on my mood at the time. I have been in an odd mood lately, but I had a good talk with my Mumsie tonight for a couple of hours about what has been going on in my life. It made me feel a lot better. My Mumsie is great like that. So short entry. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is sleepy...aluve'




you are hot sexy and tottaly ready for a
relatioship making it to 2nd base and you have
the guts to keep going and everyone will want
to do you


Are you a cuddle bunny or just a hand holder?(girls and boys plus cute pics)
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Sunday, June 19, 2005

   Work Begins Tomorrow
Today is Father's Day. We had a brunch thing at my aunt's house this morning, which wasn't too shabby. As we all piled into our jeep (I didn't feel like driving today) and drove home, I was looking out of the back window, just spacing out. Whenever I ride in a car and watch out the back window, I just go into this philosophical pondering state of mind. It is crazymadness. I was just watching the road, and I began thinking about how something like that could definitely be used in a story to represent something. It is like the things that were just in front of you, available for you whenever the hell you want it, is leaving you, and there is no coming back of it. It used to make me depressed, thinking that way. Hell, it probably still does. Today is just a zombie day for me though. I am wound right up, and yet I don't want to do anything. I had an amazing weekend, and now I need this day to recover from it, so I can wake up for camp at 6:00 in the morning tomorrow.
So, let's talk about my weekend. It was by far the best one that I have had since I got home. Honestly, I wish it could have lasted a bit longer. Oh, where to start. I suppose I'll start with when my sister's friend told me that I was invited to a party that his older brother was going to. I was in shok that I was invited...I went to high school with these guys, but I really never spent any time with them until this weekend. On Friday I went to the party, and it was amazing. There were a bunch of people there, and even more alcohol. When I first got there, I felt kind of out-of-place because I never really talked to most of the guys there (although at that point, I knew everyone from school). Trevor (the guy who was having the party) came over and started talking to me, and I ended up hanging out with him for the rest of the night. There was a bonfire out back, where we spent a good amount of time, as well as keg stands, beer pong, some fights, and a very trashed Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt. Needless to say, I spent the night there. In the morning, I went home and got a shower, and then I went with my Mumsie and my sister shopping so I could get some things for Camp. Whilst shopping, people must have thought that I was freaking high as a kite due to the fact that I was laughing at just about everything that moved, and I could not keep a smile off of my face. When I got home, I watched Oceans Twelve, and then chased my little twin siblings around until Trevor called me and then came and picked me up to go camping with most of the people that were at his party the night before. Drinking and the smoking of the weed ensued (Devon and Dan would have been so proud =P). I saw my friend Ryan get high for the first time, ask how being high was supposed to feel because he felt "tingly", and then proceeded to eat two bags of Doritos. It was hilarious to witness. However, I did manage to burn my thumb whilst passing the joint, but, like I said before the guys I go to college with would have had a great time. ^_^ Some people went swimming while smashed and stoned, and we ended up getting in trouble for that. The campsite owner came over and yelled at us, and then this morning he came over and told us to get out. We were kicked out of the campsite! I feel so accomplished! ^_^ It was so worth it though. I didn't go swimming because I didn't want to get cold, so I watched other people go. I enjoyed the night though -- although the clouds were covering the stars, it was nice to be outside all night. It's too bad that it had to end so soon. Granted, I spent all weekend with these people, but it's a shame that I finally began to enjoy my time at home, and then I am going away for the rest of the summer. It's kind of a bummer. But, what can I say? I really enjoyed the weekend, and now today is a day of relaxing and probably getting some sleep. *laughs* Probably not...dman you insomnia. Well, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to play some Final Fantasy...aluve'



You are an Earth Fairy. You enjoy being around
people, but sitting in the middle of the
wilderness reading a book or just admiring the
scenery is more your style. A sketchbook full
of wildflowers and wildlife, you're fascinated
by the great outdoors and what lies beyond. But
being so spacey can lead to disaster. You might
miss the next assignment in class if you keep
staring at that bird out the window. Try to
focus a little more on real-time life, but
don't give up your habits to become one with
nature.


What are you? (10 different outcomes)
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

   Daydreaming of Fantasy
I was reading today, as I am wont to do every day, and once again, I was swept into my own little fantasy dreamland. I was finishing up the Book of Lost Tales, Part 1, and reading of the coming of the sun and moon. Sometimes when I am reading and rereading J.R.R. Tolkien's works, I often wonder what it would be like to live in Middle Earth...to get away from the flaws of society, and to meet elves, hobbits, and dwarfs. I have been writing a story lately...putting myself in my own little fantasy world. Sometimes I just get in moods like that where I wish I could get away to such a place. Today was a rough day for me...I was feeling rather sick all day, and I was babysitting my little brother, who was in a bad mood all day. That didn't make things easy. After babysitting at my house, I went over to my aunt's house to babysit my little cousins for 3 hours. I made some quick money, so that should pay for gas at least. There was an up side of the day -- I talked to Chris today for a little bit, and that always makes me feel better. ^_^ Tomorrow (technically today) I am babysitting my little sister, and then my other sister has an athletic banquet to go to, so my Mumsie and I are going to be her guests. That should be interesting, and it will get me out of the house, at least. This weekend I hope to go to the drive-ins and see Mr. and Mrs. Smith, so hopefully I can find someone to join me. My sister is planning a party for next weekend, which is supposed to be my party that she invites all of her friends to. Why is is that way? She wants to consume some alcohol, and she knows that if it is supposed to be my party, then there is a good likelihood that alcohol will be present. How fun, right? Random thing...huzzah for the rain. It is so much better than the hot muggy shit that we have been experiencing lately. It is about to storm out again, which is why I mentioned that. Also, I should get off my laptop as to not risk frying it from the oncoming lightening. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to unplug her laptop...aluve'



You are a true fan of Lord of the Rings or all of
J.R.R Tolkiens works! You've read or your on
the process of reading all of his books! You've
even watched the movie too many times to
remember!! I congratulate you, you've become a
Tolkienite!


Do you know your Lord of the Rings?(knowledge)
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Monday, June 13, 2005

   Flag Day Parade
Well, today was the last parade of the season. There were only three bands in this parade, as well as an old car show, random vendors, and overpriced food. It was so hot out though. I was sweating just sitting in the stands in a tank-top and mini-skirt. Our marching band did well though; they got a good score, but because the color guard, well, they suck, the band got third place. Oh well. I enjoyed myself. After the parade was over, I stayed around with the band members and got a sno-kone, and waited for the judging. Then they went back to the busses to hang out for a little while. As a tradition, the marching band takes a boat trip for a couple of hours at the end of the marching band season. My favorite bus driver asked the band director if I could come along as well. Of course, she had no problem with it, so I was happy. ^_^ I got to be more of a band groupie and hang out with some of my good friends in the band. I had a great time, and was so greatful that I could stay on the boat. I spent most of my time with Gretchen and an ex-boyfriend, Ryan. Come to find out, Ryan still had feelings for me. I mean, I knew that already because he told my sister that he did, but he and Gretchen were talking together, not knowing that I could hear everything (standing next to them, how couldn't I?). I just stood there, watching the water like I had been doing. I didn't know what to say, and since they didn't know I was listening, I didn't say anything. My heart just sank when I found out that he still wears the ring I gave him on a chain around his neck. I just wanted to cry, and I have no idea why. It's how and muggy out, so the weather could be affecting my emotions, but I doubt it. I don't know what is going on. My mind is off tonight, and no one is around to talk to. I called Gretchen, hoping she could talk, and she said that she would call me back at midnight...which was 27 minutes ago. So, I am just sitting here. I will probably go and read a bit. That always makes me feel better. That, or I will do some sit-ups and push-ups, and then do some writing. Either way, something will get accomplished. Have I ever mentioned that insomnia rocks? On a completely different topic, there is still a chance for me to go to Boston over the weekend of July 4th. I hope so, because I would love to see Chris again. He hasn't been online lately, so I don't know what is going on with him. Probably busy working, which I will be starting soon. It's about time. I am going crazy waiting around doing nothing. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, has nothing to do...aluve'







What Angel Sanctuary Character Are You?


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Tuesday, June 7, 2005

   >.
Quite possibly one of my favorite moments from FLCL:


So, yeah...life has been rather meh lately. Not too much has been going on...the normal drama of my sister being a bitch, the little siblings not listening...the usual. Just the boring little town that I live in. And I always seem to complain lately. I apologize. I just need a place to vent sometimes, and this is the place I come to do it. I am also afraid today. Why? Well, I was thinking that for the entire months of June and July, and for most of August, I will not be able to see Chris (seeing as he lives 6 hours from me). It made me think (because when I am bored, my pessimism goes into turbo mode) that when we get back to college that it will be different between us. I am scared of a "falling out" of us...I don't know. It's probably silly of me to think that way...I just don't know though. I feel like I am overreacting, sounding kind of pathetic or whatnot. I don't even know what I am trying to get at here. Basically, I don't want things to change. There, that's an easy way to put it. And with that, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to watch some Yumiera...aluve'



You are Marijuana (aka: weed, dope, skunk,
chronic...). You are the most commonly used
drug in the world. You are powerful, stubborn,
moody, have a strong attitude. You are
classified as class (A and B) illegal drugs.


What kind of Drugs are you? and how that reflect your personality?
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Monday, June 6, 2005

   The Weekend Chronicles
What an interesting weekend I had. I was supposed to go to Boston to visit Chris this weekend, but of course I looked forward to it, so it never followed through. Needless to say, I was pissed. On Thursday, my dwarf rabbit, Black Magic, passed away. I came home for a 14 mile bike ride to do a load of laundry, only to find my bunny on the floor. It was a depressing day indeed. So, I have been more depressed for the past couple of days than I have been since I got home. On Friday and Saturday there were more parades to attend, so that gave me something to take my mind off of my loss. After the parade on Saturday, I spent some time with an ex-boyfriend of mine, Ryan. That was somewhat awkward yet fun at the same time. I kept thinking of Chris all night though, so I was kind of out of it for some of the night. I don't know...I just feel so lost right now. Today, my little 3-year old sister wanted to go outside to the hutches and see me 15 year old sister's rabbit, and when my 15 year old sister asked my little sister where Black Magic was, she relpied "In Heaven." That just made me burst out crying. Hell, I am even crying right now. I didn't do much today, so I was rather down today as well. I just wish I could get out of this rut that I have fallen in to. I was getting out of it, and then I lost my pet. I told my Mumsie that I didn't want another pet for a while, and I think that will be the best for me. I have my cat to keep me company, at least. Bah..this weekend is the last weekend of our marching band season, so I will be going to the last parade as well, and spending time with some of the marching band members as well...yet again. I am sure that some of the people are sick of seeing me all the time, but, oh well. I care not. I feel like crap, to be quite honest. No one is online for me to talk to to let me vent or anything, so it is hard. I should write a letter or something. *shrugs* Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to watch some [adult swim] for now...aluve'




You are such a band geek. You eat, sleep, and
breathe band. You're thinking of majoring in
music at college. Or maybe you already are.
You shudder at the thought of a world outside
the music department.


Are You a Band Geek??
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Monday, May 30, 2005

   Memorial Day
No mood today really. Just content. Yesterday and today I went to yet another parade (or parades, I suppose). They weren't too bad. Sunday's was by far the best I have seen all season...too bad we placed third. I was pretty upset with that decision. Oh well. Such is life, I suppose. After the parade I stayed around for the judging, and spent some time with a couple of people from the band. That was good, hanging around the few friends that I have around here. After the parade I went home and ended up getting bitched at. that made me snap, which is never a good thing. I ended up actually yelling at people in my house, which never happens. Later on my Mumsie came into my room and asked if I was all right. I told her that I was just depressed, and I was sick of not being happy. Some people just don't understand that putting on a satisfied mask is hard sometimes. It'll get better once my job starts though, so that's a plus. I went to the drive-ins with my grandmother later that night to see the Longest Yard and House of Wax. The Longest Yard was a good movie, I liked it. House of Wax, however, was awful. I hated it. I would have to say that the best part of that movie was watching Paris Hilton getting impaled by a blunt object through the forehead. I just hate the way she came into the pop culture...acting all ditzy and slutty and such. I don't get how guys can like something like that instead of intelligent girls. But, that is how things are, and I'll be damned to try to change it. (Besides, I am happy with what I have. ^_^) I went to bed around 4:00, and I was woken up at 10:30, half an hour before the parade today began. I took a shower and got dressed in record time, so I didn't miss the parade. I watched the parade and the Memorial Day services, and then walked up our only hill to a chicken barbeque with a couple of the people from the band that I was hanging out with yesterday. Of course, I didn't get anything to eat there, because I am a vegeterian and all. It was fun to stand in line and talk to some people though. After that, I came home and wrote a letter, watched a new anime that I downloaded (which I just love - it's called Yumeria), and here I am. Not too much is planned for the rest of the day. Tomorrow I am going to go over to my Grandfather's house to clean, so that will keep me busy all week. *ponders* I think that is about it for now. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to enjoy the beautiful afternoon...aluve'



footsie - you like to goof around and laugh with
the people you care about.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

   An interesting day, I suppose
So, it was quite a day. I realized that my plans of going to Boston were pretty much shot, which just put my mood on the low for the day. I was thinking that I really need to learn to control my emotions so that my lows aren't as low, but I have never been one to show my emotions, so it all makes sense. To calm me down, I decided to paint the door in my room. I did a base coat of white, and then painted the panels yellow with blue trim. Looking at it now, it kind of looks like Easter...the way the colors are. Whatever. It was something to do to occupy the time. I skipped going to the gym today because I have been exhausted lately, and thought that a day off would be good for me. I have been having dreams for the past couple of nights, which is rather unusual for me. It hasn't been restful sleep, let me tell you. The dreams have been STRANGE. I don't even remember the details of them, but I know that Monday night I almost fell out of my bed from jerking awake from a dream. Odd indeed. It has just been a weird past few days for me, I suppose. I have been inspired to start writing again, however, so that is a plus. I know what I want to write about this time, and I have the ending all written out. It is just the beginning that I always have troubles with. I seem to always write the middle and end first, and then quit writing because I don't know "where to start." I think I have three or four short stories started that I never wrote a beginning for, so I just gave up on them. Odd how I work sometimes. Speaking of work, I can't wait for it to start. I know next summer I definitely will not be doing the same thing...spending this much time at home doing nothing is killing me. I can't wait to get back to college (how many times do I say that?). Meh, sorry, but I cannot help it sometimes. I just want to be with friends again. Anywho, I decided to add a picture today before my departure:


Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, hopes everyone has a good day...aluve'




Mom's PB & J!!!!!!


Which Adult Swim Cartoon do You Belong In?
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Saturday, May 21, 2005

   99 Days Left!
Yup, that's right. 99 days until we are officially supposed to go back to college. Hopefully, if the plans work out right, I will be back a week earlier than what we are supposed to be. Today wasn't too interesting...I got up, had breakfast, went to visit my Mumsie at work, got an ice cream sundae with her, went to clean my Gram's house for some money, went to the gym, felt like I was going to get sick, went home, took a nap, and went to see our marching band do a parade. That's the only thing that I miss about high school...marching band. Tomorrow I am going to go to another parade that our marching band is putting on with a friend that called me today, Travis. I haven't seen him since my last break, which was a few months ago, so it will be good to hang out with him again. Chris is going home on Sunday...which means that he will officially be 6 hours away from me. I am hoping "Brother Daniel" will be able to get a weekend off from work so we can go to Boston together, and then he can meet Chris. My Mumsie suggested that I go back to college for the weekend and spend some time with him before he leaves just in case my plans for Boston fall through. I really hope that doesn't happen, because that wold round out the complete suckage of the summer. Anywho, I am stil feeling a bit under the weather, so Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is going to go and enjoy the Phantom of the Opera original soundtrack that her Gram allowed her to borrow...aluve'

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt
Birthday:	August 26, 1986
Birthplace:	Central New York
Current Location:	Upstate New York
Eye Color:	Blue-Green
Hair Color:	Dirty Blonde
Height:	5'7"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Leftie ^_^
Your Heritage:	50% Polish, and then some other things
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Brown Boots
Your Weakness:	Letting my emotions build up inside of me until I burst
Your Fears:	Fish in tanks
Your Perfect Pizza:	Cheese, Mushrooms, Green Peppers, Onions, Crushed Chili Flakes
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	3.5 GPA
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	^_^
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Must...take...shower
Your Best Physical Feature:	My eyes
Your Bedtime:	2:30 am
Your Most Missed Memory:	My dogs
Pepsi or Coke:	Water...I hate soda
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Home-cooked food...I hate fast-food
Single or Group Dates:	Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Coffee
Do you Smoke:	Not really
Do you Swear:	Like a sailor
Do you Sing:	Not well
Do you Shower Daily:	Twice daily
Have you Been in Love:	I don't know
Do you want to go to College:	I want to go back...99 days left!
Do you want to get Married:	Eventually
Do you belive in yourself:	Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	No
Do you think you are Attractive:	Sometimes
Are you a Health Freak:	Yes
Do you get along with your Parents:	My Mum, yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Yes
Do you play an Instrument:	Clarinet...almost 11 years
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	I don't think so
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Medicine, yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	No
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Not a whole box...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Yes
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Never
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Never
Ever been Drunk:	Yes
Ever been called a Tease:	A couple of times
Ever been Beaten up:	Once
Ever Shoplifted:	No
How do you want to Die:	I don't want to plan my own death...sheesh
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	Bio-medical Researcher
What country would you most like to Visit:	Australia
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Ice Blue or Brown
Favourite Hair Color:	Dark
Short or Long Hair:	It matters not...just not longer than my hair
Height:	Taller than me
Weight:	Not fat, but not lanky
Best Clothing Style:	Whatever looks good
Number of Drugs I have taken:	It's okay to try things
Number of CDs I own:	Any number
Number of Piercings:	Not too many
Number of Tattoos:	Not too many
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	As long as it doesn't rule his life, he can regret as many things as he wishes =P
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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