Wednesday, May 18, 2005

   Nothing Can Happen 'Til You Swing the Bat...
I found this great website to download a bunch of anime episodes on...so I decided to download all of FLCL to entertain me for a couple of days. I needed something, because the other day I snapped and wanted to be anywhere but here. I was watching the Survivor season finale, and somehow the fact that I needed an oil change for my car came up, and I ended up getting in a huge fight with my Mum's husband about money and getting a job. I have a job lined up to work at a summer camp, but it doesn't start until June 20, so money for me is tight until I start that. Well, he was arguing that I needed a "real" job, and told me that I should work at the job that I had last summer. I hated that job...I was working in the only store in my town, I was working minimal hours, and getting paid shit for it. It was a mindnumbing job, and I wanted better than that, and he doesn't understand that. I ended up leaving my livingroom and locking myself in my room for the rest of the night. I mwan, that isn't unusual for me, to lock myself in my room when I am at home. It's not that I hate it at my house, because I don't...I just hate not being around friends and people that like me. I get along with my Mum great, but when it comes to her husband or my sister, that is a completely different story. It is just hard to deal with, that's all. It was commented to me tonight that I seem like I have the "Holier than thou" attitude now. Unfortunately, I have always kind of had that attitude...it's not cockyness...it's just me not agreeing with society and what is deemed "normal." I could rant about that for hours, but I won't bore you with it. So, yeah...not too much going on in my life...pretty mediocre. I am just going day by day waiting for classes to start again (102 Days). As long as I can keep myself occupied, I will stay content. It is the night time that I have the most problems with...more time to sit and think. With me, that is usually never good. Anywho, FLCL is calling to Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt...aluve'



Your Normalcy Quotient is: 79 out of 100.

What really counts is how your score compares to those of your normal or not so
normal group of friends. Don't forget to forward them this email so you can
compare results.

You are a Charming Conformist

Congratulations.
You’re pretty normal by all our standards, but here are some other facts
about normal that you might not know. Sixty-six percent of people in the U.S.
own their home. Women make up fifty point nine percent of people in the U.S.
Sixty-eight percent of U.S. citizens live in a family household. Also, it is
very normal to live near a metropolitan area. Three out of four people make
their homes near citified regions. The average debt for people nationally is
$11,224.

It seems to be normal that there is usually something that a
person doesn’t like about his/her body, but is there a body part that you
love and for which you would get an insurance policy? Actress Cyd Charisse, who
starred in Singin’ in the Rain, insured her legs for five million
buck-a-roos. That equates to around forty-eight million dollars in today’s
money and is definitely not normal.

While it’s not completely normal
yet, there is a growing trend toward gaining your education via the Internet. In
the late nineties, only one point seven percent of people earned their degrees
online, and by 2001, that had nearly doubled to three point one percent.
However, according to the U.S. Department of Education, it is becoming quite
normal to seek higher education and more people are conforming to the popular
belief that a higher education means a higher salary.

Of course, the
definition of normal is always changing, and before you know it, you may very
well be one of the exceptional exceptions.

Remember: Are You? quizzes are
non-scientific, non-fat and pretty much just non-sense. They are meant solely
for entertainment purposes and are not intended to provide an accurate
evaluation of……well of anything.

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Friday, May 13, 2005

107 Days Left
I shouldn't be counting down already. I should be enjoying my time off and just take it easy. Unfortunately, I am not the type of person that relaxes easily. It takes effort for me to relax. I know it sounds funny to some people, but it is the truth. Today my Mumsie and her husband went away for the weekend to go watch a NASCAR race. They'll have fun, so that's a plus. Today I finished up my spring cleaning of the house, went shopping for some shorts, entertained a friend, went to a softball game, and visited the marching band at their rehearsal. I got some things accomplished today, at least. ^_^ I had a difficult time finding a pair of shorts though...it was rediculous. I hate to shop...I like to know what I want, get it, and get out of there. Oh well. It was good to get out of my town for a little bit. When I went to the marching band rehearsal, I talked to my old band teacher, and I told her that if she needed my help with anything for band, to just let me know. She said that she needed a cart painted over the week, so I am going to do that for her, since I have so much free time on my hands. That will be fun, I think. Anything that I can do to help out the marching band. It's the only thing I miss about high school. Today when I was driving home from the mall, I got a feeling of schoolsickness that swept over me. It was weird. I was just listening to my Shinedown CD, and all of a sudden it just hit me out of the blue. I think it was because the CD was burned for me at college, and it just reminded me of my friends. It is going to be a long summer if I keep thinking about going back. Once my job starts, it will be better though. I will have more things to occupy my mind with, so that will help out oodles. ^_^ Anywho, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to watch some [adult swim]...aluve'




You need security.
There has been many changes in your life and
you have had to live in an unstable
environment. This has lead you to be suspicious
and always on guard. Your mind has a hard time
to unwind and this could lead to you having
sleeping problems, since you think too much.
People are a category you don't give much trust
at, and find yourself to be a better secret
keeper than they could ever be. Because in your
changing world you have learnt that you only
have yourself in all times.


What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

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Monday, May 9, 2005

111 Days Until College Starts Back Up
Yes, I am counting down the days. I am not the only one that is missing my friends back at college, so that's reassuring to know. This weekend I visited Chris back at college. I came up on Saturday, and left in the afternoon on Mother's Day. We watched most of the episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which is always a good time. Then we went out to dinner at a place called Little Italy and got some pizza. Since he paid for dinner, we decided to go to a movie, and I paid for that. We saw the "Hitch Hicker's Guide to the Galaxy," which was a good movie. I enjoyed it. I need to read the book(s) that go along with it now, but that will give me something to do over the summer. After the movie, Chris and I returned to his room, and we watched some TV and then he passed out for a couple of hours. He woke back up, and we stayed up and talked for a few hours, and finally went to bed around 3:00 or so. I woke up around 10, took a shower, and then Chris and I went to breakfast at the Baglery, where I get the same thing that I always get: An everything bagel with jalepeno spread. It is so good there. When we got back to the room, we watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and a little while later I went home. The departure this time wasn't as rough as a week ago. I felt much better leaving this time than I did last time. I had a better feeling that things weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be, and that lifted up my spirits a bit. Granted, I am counting down the days until I get back, but it's okay. I am going to keep myself busy this week by doing a couple of things. My Mumsie has comissioned me to clean the house completely, which I would normally do for free, but she is planning on paying me for it, which is even better. A couple of my other relatives are also commissioning me to do the same thing, so huzzah for cleaning. Sometimes it pays to be a complete and total neat freak. ^_^ So, my disposition is a bit more sunny this week compared to last week. I'll be cleaning and applying for scholarships all week. Sounds like a good time to me. Plus, my friend Arison and I are planning a trip to Boston the first weekend in June, so I hope that follows through, because then I could go and visit Chris and Mitch, and it would just be a good old time. ^_^ Anywho, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to do...something...aluve'




You are Van Gogh Google

You are deep and thoughtful and creative and
sometimes can be lonely. You may not be arty
like Van Gogh himself but singing, painting,
drawing, writing, dancing and playing an
instrument are all forms of art too. Sometimes
you may feel lonely but you always have an
escape from it all through your art form,
whatever it may be.

People love you for your intelligence and
creativity and your ability to see life in a
whole other way.


Which Google Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, May 6, 2005

   I Hate Being Home
I really do. I mean, I love my family and all, but I hate the small town that I live in. I am just school sick, that's all. I feel bad complaining about it all the time, but seriously -- I am lectured every day about my eating habits...I know I might have a problem again, but I want to deal with it myself; my sister is a complete bitch to me...she is treating her best friend like shit and expects me to take her side for it; and my Mum's husband is a complete asshole, and I am sick of tolerating him always having something wrong with me. Don't get me wrong...my family is great, it's just that I am missing my friends so much right now, and I have only been home for 6 days. I am still having trouble sleeping, but I am stubborn and do not want to have to resotr to sleeping aids to help me sleep. I miss falling asleep in Chris's arms...although I had insomnia, just the feeling of safety I had...I just miss it. I want to go visit him this weekend, but he isn't checking his IM messages, so I don't know what is going on with him...so I might just have to call him tomorrow. Today I went to my high school's marching band practice for a little bit...that was a good time. I miss that the most about high school. That is the only thing I miss, actually. I also talked to an old friend today at my sister's softball game, and she is going to a college right down the road from me next year, so that is pretty cool. I just want to be around people who like me again...it's weird going from college life back to life in my small town. As soon as my job starts, I think I'll be better. I just have to find something to keep me occupied until then. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off for now...aluve'



You are the fairy of Fire! You are quite strong and
powerful, people look up to you greatly and
often seek your protection. You have the
ability to gain many friends. Not everyone is
capable of leadership but you certainly have
the willpower and flare to do it. Please rate
if you want to, it's just i spent ages making
this quiz.


Which fluttering fairy are you? (gorgeous pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Tuesday, May 3, 2005

   Homeward Bound
Well, it's Tuesday, May 03, 2005, which means that I am home for the next 4 months. I stayed at college until Saturday...until the last possible minute to leave. I stayed until roughly 3:30 that afternoon...waiting until the last possible minute to leave. It was a rough departure though. I stayed to help Chris pack, and then we went to turn in our room keys. After doing so, he looked at me, and told me not to cry. I was trying hard all day not to cry...but that was a request I couldn't fulfill. I started tearing up as we left the building, and as we got out to our cars, I just broke down. I didn't want to leave the place where I finally found acceptance, where I made some friends, where I felt at home. But, there was no choice...I had to go. I gave Chris a hug and didn't want to let go. I guess I should feel lucky though...I only have to survive 4 months of hell at home and then get to go back to 8 months of joy at college, while for other people it is the opposite. I cried half of the way home, and then put on some CAKE to sing along to to cheer me up a little bit. I got home to be lectured about how much weight I have lost (roughly 8 pounds within a month...and if you knew me, you would know that I should not be losing weight), and that I need to start eating again. Unfortunately, I think I have a problem again with the whole eating thing, and I know that I should go to a doctor about it, but I am too stubborn to do it. However, I do eat at least once a day to make everyone happy, so that has to count for at least something. Anyway, I have been keeping myself busy to keep my mind off of the depression of missing college life. I have kept myself busy unpacking my things (which was rough, but I kept from crying) and by rearranging my room. I figured that I had changed since college, so my room should change as well. I ended up hauling out 4 bags of thingd that I was going through and thought to myself, "Why the hell did I keep this?" (and such). I like the way my room looks now. I got rid of a lot of things, so I have more room now. I had an interview for a job on Monday, which went well. It was an interview for a camp counselor at the summer camp that I went to as a child. The interview went well, and the camp director basically said that I had the job as long as my background check cleared. That means that I am looking forward to 6 weeks of living at camp (minus weekends) and playing with kids. However, the job starts on June 20, which leaves me a month and a half to find something to do. I am getting a membership to a gym tomorrow, so that will take up some of my time during the free time, and I am thinking about seeing if the local diner is looking for some part time help during the morning for a month or so, like working from 5 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon, and then sleeping after work. It wouldn't be that bad of a deal as I see it...I mean, I am up until 2 or 3 in the morning anyway, so if I slept during the afternoon and was up at night, then it would all work out well. Anywho, I think I am going to go do something else for right now. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is missing those that mean the most to her...aluve'




Your wise quote is: "Fashion is a form of
ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter
it every six months" by Oscar Wilde.
You are a very sarcastic person with a sharp
tongue. You may not be the one always talking,
but your mind is nevertheless critizing. You
tend to have a cynical view on life itself and
be somewhat withdrawn with who you really are.
Society now is in your eyes corrupted and you
wonder how the world will survive. And people
are in your mind very ignorant and blind to the
reality.


What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

   Finals...Complete
Today was my last final. I had my Calculus II and Biology finals on Tuesday, and my Chemistry final today. The past week has been full of my studying, and a lack of sleep from insomnia (still). It's been a long week, and my brain is fried now, but it's over. Depressing as shit, if you ask me. There are plenty of people that are ready to go home for the summer, but not me. I don't like the small town that I live in, and I am going to be away from people that I can call my friends for 3 and a half months. I am getting pretty down as the time passes. I am going home on Saturday, and I am not looking forward to it. I don't want to feel lonely, which is bound to happen, and quickly. Ack! Short post...I changed my background...tried to change the layout, but to no success. If anyone can help me with that, it would be greatly appreciated. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to listen to more MxPx...aluve'



You're Beryl!


What Sailor Moon Villain Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Thursday, April 21, 2005

   Long Night
Artist : Cake
Title : No Phone
Album : Pressure Chief
Genre : Modern Rock
***********************************
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
Ringing stinging
Jerking like a nervous bird
Rattling up against his cage
Calls to me thoughout the day
See the feathers fly
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone No phone
No phone no phone I just want to be alone today
Rhyming chiming got me working all the time
Gives me such a worried mind
Now I don't want to seem unkind
But god (it's such a crime)
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
Shaking quaking
Waking me when I'm asleep
Never lets me go too deep
Summons me with just one beep
The price we pay is steep
I've been on fire
And yet I've still stayed frozen
So deep in the night
My smooth contemplations will always be broken
My deepest concerns will stay buried and unspoken
No I don't have any change but here's a few subway tokens
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone No phone
No phone no phone I just want to be alone today
No phone no phone
No phone No phone I just want to be alone today
No phone No phone
************************************
Cake is such a great band...and their concert was amazing...I don't care how many times I have to say that. ^_^
My, what a night I had last night. It wasn't just the night, it was the enitre day. But, I'll get to that later. I had my forensics crime scene investigation presentation to give on Tuesday evening. I had so much fun with it. We were the third group to go, and we were supposed to go at 8:00, but of course the presentations were running long, so we didn't get into the presentation room until about 8:30. The first group came out shaking their heads in disgust...one girl in the group didn't know what she was talking about and tried to bullshit her way through the presentation, but the "jury" was made up of chemistry majors, so they quickly pointed out her faults. The second group had a girl come out at the end of the presentation crying from stress (or something like that). We weren't really nervous at all though...we (my group) were having a good conversation about mastrubating with both hands and just relaxing. When it came to our presentation, we did not seem nervous at all, and we were confident in our talks. It went very well, and I just could not stop smiling after it was over. That definitely brightened my day. Last night South Park was on, which is a ritual for Chris and I to watch at midnight. The show is just pushing the limits of what is acceptable, and I am just loving every minute of it. Yesterday morning after my Chemistry lecture, I went to coffee (which was in fact white hot chocolate) with my lab partner from last semester Andrew. We always have a good time catching up with one another and talk for a good while. We normally talk about society and the flaws in logic and what is considered acceptable. One point that stuck out to me is that fact that people are allowed to majorly screw up while under the influence of alcohol, and it is acceptable to blame it on the fact that you were drunk. Andrew brought up the point that that person voluntarily gave up control over logical thinking and motor skills to drink. I got to thinking about that, and that is a perfect argument. So, after South Park last night I went back to my room ready for bed, but then I was stupid and checked my messages left for when I was away, and ended up staying up for a couple more hours, and getting more depressed. I feel like I can't talk about what is bothering me, and that is just eating away at the back of my mind. I have talked to my roommate about it, and it seems like a few people are just going through a rough patch. I was talking to a fellow theatre member and insomniac last night, and we made a deal that we would talk to the people that we needed to talk to on Thursday (today) to clear our minds. Now all I have to do is to gather up the courage to do it. This is dead week for us. Next week is finals week, and then we are out of here for three and a half months. It's scary...I feel like there is so much to resolve in such a short period of time. I have a feeling that this is going to be a rough summer. I am having some problems right now...I don't know what will happen when I am home and have no one to talk to except for over AIM. Ugh. I put up an away message last night that made me feel a little better, and it mentioned that I was going to sleep...however hard it was...I miss the feeling of falling asleep in someone's arms, even if it is just falling asleep while cuddling watching a movie. I miss things like that in my life. I know that I go to a mostly guy populated engineering schoolm and that it wouldn't be that hard to find someone to fall asleep with, but it's not the same. I don't know what I am trying to say. I feel like some things have just changed recently...I am going to stop before I start getting emotional again. Wish me luck with my talk tonight. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is going to go pretend to know what she is talking about for her Bio presentation...aluve'


You are TIFA. Sweet, caring, and I bet you can make
a damn good B-52 shot...


What Final Fantasy VII character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

   What A Weekend
I just want to sit here and scream profanities until my voice goes raw and hit things until I can't feel my hand. So yeah, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since about Saturday. It was a weekend full of many ups, and then some downs when the ups were assessed. I really don't want to go into it because I really don't know who reads my journal anymore. That means that I need to watch what I say from time to time. Anywho, I'll talk about my weekend anyway...the ups, at least. On Friday I was invited to go to the first floor of my building to play drunken darts. (I know, that sounds dangerous...and it was ^_^) I absolutely sucked at the darts at first, but as I drank more I got better. I ended up losing miserably, but it was a good and dangerous time anyway. After the darts were over and we were drunk, we decided to go play whiffleball. That was an experience and a half. There are so many things that I could say about that, but I won't...for my own protection. After the whiffleball we watched a movie, and I fell asleep down there. Saturday I went to dinner and a movie with Mitch from theatre, and had a good time. We saw Amityville Horror, which is an incredibly messed up movie, but one of the better ones. Sunday I went to a Cake concert with the guys that I drank with on Friday and had an amazing time. So, that was the ups of the weekend, and I'll leave it at that. Atremis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to prepare for a presentation...aluve'


The Eternal Light Walker

Your soul represents all that is pure and golden.
A keeper of heaven and a maker of angels.
Following the highest of Earthly goods, or at
least appearing to be innocent and naive. You
hold a naivity that makes you vulnerable to the
Lost Souls and the Bringers of Night; and a
aura that makes the Chaotic Children question
life. You live in a shroud of lies and you
believe that the world is one big wonderland
filled with happiness and joy. Your optimism
may be your downfall one day, precious soul.

Continue your blank stare through rose-colored
glasses.


What type of soul do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, April 15, 2005

   Cake, Anyone?
What a day! It went from decent, to awful, to decent again, to taking a calculus II exam, to decent again. Let's start from the beginning. I had to wake up for an 11:30 meeting with my forensics professor. We are having a major problem with my forensics group...you see, we have to write these lab reports, and there are four people to a group. I am group leader, so every week I would divide up the paper and we would each write a section. Well, our last paper that we had to write had all of the parts of the paper sent to one guy in my group so he could write the abstract and conclusion. It was really late in getting back to me for editing, and I was pissed off when I got it, so I just printed off what was sent to me from him. Well, it was an awful paper overall, so we re-wrote it. It happened to be that the other girl in my group had written the introduction, and sent it to this guy, but the introduction that I got was not hte one that she wrote. So, it seems like he screwed with her part of the paper to mess up her grade. However, he completely denies it. It seems like it was me that changed it because I am the one who edits the paper. I have no proof otherwise, so it is basically his word against mine. My professor believes me, but cannot make the decision on his own, so my whole group might have to go in front of the Academic Integrity board to see if we are in major trouble or not. I hope that doesn't happen, because if it does, it will be next week during dead week, when I have two presentations and a lot of studying to do. I am freaking out about that. So, I was stressed and freaking out after the meeting, and then I went to the forensics lab to finish up my part of our investigation of a crime scene. I was doing the same test as another guy in my class, and we got to talking whilst waiting for the IR machine. He invited me to go to a Cake concert with him on Sunday, and that just sounds like fun, so I might join. After that, we had to go to Bio lab, which is always a fun time. I got to look at Tetrahymena under a microscope and see how much they ate. Oh, the joys of being a bio-molecular science major. After that, I went back to my room to study for our Calculus II exam, which I was stressing out about as well. After the exam, I was feeling better that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was planning on going to a movie night after the exam, but I ended up seeing the guy in my forensics group that messed everything up, so I decided to go to the gym to run off the tension instead. An uneventful next few hours passed, and then I had a good conversation with my friend Mitch from theatre for a good while. Now it is 2:44 in the a.m., and I am wide awake. It just figures. The insomnia might be back, or, I might just be keeping myself up. I have been having trouble lately with things...and it seems like when I get stressed, I start to stress about how I look as well. That's not good, because I don't want to fall back into the habit of not eating for extended periods of time. Lately I have been eating just once a day, when normally I would have something little for breakfast and then have dinner. Lately I have been looking in the mirror and thinking "ugh". I know I am not fat or anything...Chris reassured me of that today...he told me that if anything I need to gain weight. I hate this. I used to be anorexic in high school, and I don't want that to happen again. Unfortunately, I am seeing some of the same habits forming again. I don't know what to do about it. The summer is quickly approaching for me, and that is the worst time for me. I am not looking forward to the summer at all. I don't like my home town as much as I like it here. Oh well...hopefully I'll be working all summer so I won't have to worry about it as much. Eh, whatever. I should try to get some sleep...I have a 9:00 class. Good luck there, girl. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to attempt this thing you normal people call "sleep"...aluve'





My Neighbor Totoro Personality Quiz


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

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Sunday, April 10, 2005

   M*A*S*H
What a performance! All four showings of M*A*S*H were a great success -- we had such good crowds for all of the shows. ^_^ In between our two shows yesterday, we went out to chinese food, which was good, as usual. We got done eating early, so some of us went back to the theatre and played a 4-way game of War with two decks of cards. I am happy to say that it came down to Lighty and I, and I was kicking his arse, so he gave up eventually. ^_^ I rock! During the last show, we did a few pranks to try to mess each other up. Let's see here...we had a dwarf in the footlocker, a blow-up doll in a desk drawer, some condoms filled with cold cream in a briefcase, and some anal beads in a suitcase. It was hilarious. After our last show, we had to strike the set, and then we did "Chalice." We had a dry cast party, and after about half an hour or so, Mitch and I left to go back to my room to drink. When we got back here, there was smoke filling our hallway. Someone on my floor (no names mentioned) was very intoxicated and decided to play with the fire extinguisher. It was just difficult to breathe in the hall and such, so we grabbed some alcohol and went back to the theatre. I drank mine way too fast, and was inebriated rather quickly. We stayed at the theatre for the rest of the party, and then Mitch left to go to another party to drink some more. I ended up going back to Woodstock with Lighty and a friend of his, and had a whiskey sour to finish up the night. They put on the Last Samurai, but I'll be damned if I remember watching a good portion of the movie. Apparently I was up for a good couple of hours answering random questions coming from Hitsman and Matt (Lighty's friend). I don't remember that part though. I do remember that I wanted to go back to my dorm to hang out with Chris though, because that's where I go after drinking. However, Matt would not let me go. That was probably better, because I don't think I would have made it very far on my own. I felt so bad for being so drunk though, and I apologized a lot. I ended up passing out at Matt's place, which I found odd. What was even more strange was that Lighty left. I was hoping he'd stay around long enough to take me back to my dorm, or even Hitsman, but that didn't happen. Eh. I just found it strange, that's all. I woke up around 8:00 feeling like shit, so I went back to sleep until about 11:30, and then ventured back to my room. I had a massive hangover all day. That will teach me...I think I am good with the drinking thing for a while. I went back down to Woodstock for a little while this afternoon to have some spaghetti...I wasn't hungry, but it just sounded so good...and it was. ^_^ Long week is ahead of me...calculus test, a lab report due, and a meeting with my Forensics lab to see how much trouble we are in...fun times. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to lose herself in her confused thoughts...aluve'


Take the quiz: "What dragon species are you? (Stunning pics)"

Fire Dragon
Rage, passion, you burn with the essence of a powerful flame. You are powerful and majestic and dont let anyone stand in your way without a fight.
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