Tuesday, September 19, 2006

   Slow Dance
SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
"We'll do it tomorrow?"
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.


Heh...welcome to my life. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is having a bad week...aluve'
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Monday, September 18, 2006

   It's Only Monday...
Today has seemed surreal. I do not feel like myself at all...I don't feel whole, I don't feel real...I feel insignifigant. I seem to be walking around all today in a daze. I cannot concentrate, but I know that it is imperative that I do as much because I had a quiz this morning, another on Friday, and an exam on Wednesday. It's only Monday, but I feel that this is going to be a long and drawn out week. It didn't start out well at all. Last night was a bad night...to make a long story short, three of the Alpha Phi Omega brothers left for Massachusetts last night around midnight. It's about a 6 or 7 hour drive from here, and it was all to help out a brother in need. We are good like that...it's why we wear the letters. It's still hard though, because I wanted to be there for support and all, but it was not logically feasable with the exams and such that I have this week. >.< I have felt irritated with life today...the most futile things are getting to me. I feel inconsiderate for thinking such things, but it's just the mood that I am in. Take, for example, coming into/going out of the building that I have classes in. There are two doors per entrance, yet people still choose to both go into and out of one door, creating a jam at some points, and then they proceed to make comments about it. You know what? Open the other effing door and go through that one, dipshit! Then there's the girls that like to dress in tight and revealing clothing, and, well, should not be exposing so much skin. Not only does it look trashy, but, seriously, do you really think you look good? Ever heard of a mirror? Accept the fact that you are far from horizontally challenged, and get clothes that fit. You can still look good...just don't go and buy the skintight/too small clothing. Hell, most of my clothing is too big because I don't like to always show off how tiny I actually am. Oh, what else? How about the fact that if you pass by someone you know, and you know they saw you, and then immediately avert their eyes so they don't have to say a "hello" while passing by...gain some effing common courtesy. It's not too much trouble to say a monosyllabilic "hi," is it? *growls* See what I mean? Needless anger. It's queer, because I feel lonely, but I want to be alone right now. I am exhausted, but my worrying mind kept me up last night. I am starting to get back into the "in over my head and freaking out about it" mode, but I really don't have that much pn my plate as of yet. I don't know how to explain it, rather than just saying that internally, I am a wreck. Plain and simple. It's to the point where I want more coffee, but I already had a cup today...so that is never a good thing. Ugh. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, just needs a hug...aluve'

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motiviated to succeed Actively working to acheive what you want, you are skillful in many areas. You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding. You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force. An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people. You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor. People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all. You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone. Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Flesh is heretic.
My body is a witch.
I am burning it.

Yet I am torching
her curves and paps and wiles.
They scorch in my self denials.

How she meshed my head
in the half-truths
of her fevers

till I renounced
milk and honey
and the taste of lunch.

I vomited
her hungers.
Now the bitch is burning.

I am starved and curveless.
I am skin and bone.
She has learned her lesson.

Thin as a rib
I turn in sleep.
My dreams probe

a claustrophobia
a sensuous enclosure.
How warm it was and wide

once by a warm drum,
once by the song of his breath
and in his sleeping side.

Only a little more,
only a few more days
sinless, foodless,

I will slip
back into him again
as if I had never been away.

Caged so
I will grow
angular and holy

past pain,
keeping his heart
such company

as will make me forget
in a small space
the fall

into forked dark,
into python needs
heaving to hips and breasts
and lips and heat
and sweat and fat ad greed.






What Pink-Haired Anime Girl Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

   Insert Sad Face Here
My cat of 10 years had to be put down last night, and I am internally a wreck about it. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, will remain outwardly strong...aluve'
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Monday, September 4, 2006

   Lemmings
Aimlessly Wandering
Through Life
Following, Leaderless
This Is
Life

So, yeah. I jotted this down before my Materials and Science class began today. I blame my poetry professor for making me think of such things. I have been noticing lately that people will go to and from classes without thinking about it...they all flow into and out of the buildings at the same time, blank and lifeless expressions on their faces. It makes me wonder if I look the same way when I am walking to class. I try my darndest to walk to class with a smile on my face, just for that reason. My poetry professor today was on a random tangent of death and dying, and basically came to the conclusion that everyone dies, and people will be forgotten. People go on with life, with or without you. That's the way it has and will always be. He just made life seem so meaningless...I don't know, it was just somehow enlightening for me.

In happier news, I went home for the weekend and spent time with the camp crew again. It made me happy, although I was only here for 10 days prior to that. I really need to readjust to this place, but I do think I am doing a hell of a lot better than I was when I first got up here. I know that I am feeling better about things now that I am back and had a great weekend. I hope I am not going to have to continue to look to my camp friends to make me happy though, because, quite frankly, I am a poor college student, and I cannot afford to drive home every other weekend. In plus, I will be way too busy for that anyway. I like staying up here with my friends, I really do, but I still have some attachment to my summer as well. I am slowly getting better at it though, and that makes me happy. Now, if I could stop losing weight, that would be a good thing as well. I lost 3 pounds in 10 days. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but for me it is. Normally, I would complain about gaining a pound or whatever, but I know that my weight loss is starting to affect me, bith physically and mentally. It's not good, and I don't know what to do about it. "Eat more." Yeah. Good advice. I know. Thank you, Captain Obvious. *sigh* It's not that simple. That's what it comes down to. It's starting to scare my family, and quite frankly, myself as well. So, yeah. Fun times. I have homework to do. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to delve into the wonders of MatSci homework...aluve'

If You Were Born in 2893...

Your Name Would Be: Raan Noos And You Would Be: Telepathic

If You Were Born in 2893

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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Not in my house
So this one time, I felt like I wasted the entire day. I had a class from 8:00-9:15, and then I will be having my second one starting at 1:00. In the time between classes, I could have gone for a run, taken a shower, gotten something to eat, and gone to town to purchase a textbook that I still need. Instead, I decided to skip the run because I wasn't feeling comfortable about working out today, and I just skipped right to the shower, and then played sudoku until the place where I eat lunch opened. I ate lunch, and then planned on going to town, but then I had to go run some errands for Alpha Phi Omega, but when I got there, the woman that I was to talk to was on lunch break, and I don't have enough time to go to town before my lab starts. I have too much free time, and it's driving me crazy. I know I should not be complaining, because once the classes start to pick up, I am going to be swamped with work. It's just that I like having things to do instead of feeling like a fat lazy bastard sitting here in front of my computer because I don't have anything better to do. Today has just been a rollercoaster of internal emotions, although I seem to be putting up a good front to hide it. I don't know what is up with me, and it's bothering me. It kind of reminds me of first semester freshman year when I kept to myself and was super depressed. I just feel like I am having a difficult time readjusting myself to the people here...it's stupid of me. I know that most of it is in my head. I'll be fine, I always am. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to get ready for lab...aluve'

You Are Internal - Realist - Powerful

You feel your life is controlled internally. If you want something, you make it happen. You don't wait around for things to go your way. You value your independence and don't like others to have control. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. When it comes to who's in charge, it's you. Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler. You don't care much about what others think. But they better care what you think!

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

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Monday, August 28, 2006

   First Day of Classes
So this one time, I had an amazing roommate. Last night was so much fun. After I got back from work, my roommate got back from her boyfriend's place. We were talking about how we thought one of our suitemates had shaved her legs in our sink the first night she was here. I also mentioned how during the day I thought that the same girl was in the bathroom for an hour and a half. Well, this girl was in the bathroom when we were talking, and she came over to our room afterward, and said something along the lines of: "Just so you know, you can hear everything from your room when you are in the bathroom. I heard everything you said, and just so you know, my friend shaved his beard in your sink, and no one was in the bathroom for that long. I don't want any problems here." My roommate and I apologized to her, blah blah, she left, and we both started laughing our asses off. We knew right then and there that it was going to be interesting sharing a bathroom with someone that is rediculously high-maintenence. We then had a floor meeting at 9:00, which only lasted for 10 minutes or so. After the meeting we went and got some food, because I hadn't eaten all day, so we went to Empire. Mitch and Trent were working, so we gave them a hard time, but all in good fun, of course. We came back to the room to eat because I had forgotten my lactaid pills, and we spent a good portion of the remainder of the night on our laptops. I was talking to Scott online, and often I was distracted by talking with my roommate, and I would completely forget what I was talking to Scott about, and that turned out to be hilarious to me. Eventually, I ended up giving Kristie his screenname, and we started double-team wreaking havok...and it was just a good time. We're going to have a great year as roommates. I went to bed around 12:30 or so, and then was up at 6:30. Kristie and I went for a nice morning jog at 7:00, and now we're sitting around waiting for our first day of classes to begin. My first class is Physical Chemistry, and that doesn't start until 10:00. So, I am enjoying my green tea (with honey) and sitting here trying to find something to do. Heh. It's all good. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is having a good morning...aluve'

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

So, I am 20 now. I don't feel any older, so that must be a plus. I do feel different though, but I realized that during the summer. Last night some of the brothers of Alpha Phi Omega threw me a movie night birthday party. We watched the Emperor's New Groove and Kronk's New Groove. It made me sad...because Big A and Andy would quote the Emperor's New Groove all summer at camp. So, of course it made me miss the summer. I feel like such a child, keeping thinking as such. My sister says that it's understandable, because she is going to miss the amazing summer as well, but then again, she is three years my junior. I don't know, I just think that it is silly for a 20-year old stubborn gal like myself to be, well, not homesick, but summersick. I also don't think that the others enjoyed the movies as much as I did, which also made me feel kind of down. It was just a rollercoaster of emotions that I went through internally at the party, but I was glad that my roommate was super-awesome and came for an hour or so. She and I are bonding so much more this year than we did last semester, and that makes me definitely look forward to living with her this year. We even already talked about getting a two person apartment for next year so that we don't have to find two other gals to live with. It's glorious. So, yeah, I got a shitload of Reeses at the party too, which was amazing. It was overall a decent night...and it was definitely better than just staying in my room all night. I wanted Scottie and Ted to come to visit, but they ended up going to visit Ted's ex for a few hours longer than planned, so...dang. I am going to go for a walk soon with Gretchen, so that will be a good time for us to catch up from the summer. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is going to go put on her shoes...aluve'

You Are 47% Vain

You're a little vain, but more than anything you have a healthy amount of confidence. Thinking the world of yourself is great. Just don't think less of those who aren't as pretty as you!

How Vain Are You?

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

   Huzzah!
It's my birthday today!

Your Birthdate: August 26

You lucked out the the skills to succeed in almost any arena. Put you in almost any business or classroom, and you'll rise to the top. You're driven and intense, but you also know when to kick back and cooperate. Your ability to adapt to almost any situation is part of what's going to make you a success. Your strength: Your attention to detail Your weakness: You can be a little too proud of your successes Your power color: Turquoise Your power symbol: Arrow pointing up Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Tell me that's not absolutely amazing!
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Thursday, August 24, 2006

   Back To School
So, this one time, I went back to college. We start classes on Monday, but I came up early to help with Freshman orientation. What a good person I am! I got back here yesterday, and spent most of my time unpacking. Before I left, Scott stopped by to see me off, which was a plesant surprise.My sister also told me that she was going to miss me, and gave me a hug before I left. Seeing as that is out of character for her, I was plesantly surprised by that as well. Needless to say, I did not want to leave. However, I definitely had to. I had Mitch and Trent help me unpack, which was a great help, because I would not have been able to carry a couple of my things up three flights of stairs. After spending way too much time unpacking, I spent time making myself a collage with pictures from camp, and then placed the lyrics to one of our camp songs over it. It was slightly emo in nature, but it turned out well, and I put it as my new desktop. Finishing it made me happier than what I was when I first arrived, so a huzzah to that.

Overall, things are decent. I went and bought one of my books today. I still have to buy one more, but I can do that before classes start. I also bought Scottie and Big A birthday presents, got my job from last semester back (I start tonight), cashed a paycheck from last semester, and attempted to sell a textbook. It's been a pretty eventful day, overall. I woke up at 6:30 out of habit, so I went for a run today. Unfortunately, not running for the entire summer got me out of shape, so I only made about a mile, and then just walked an additional mile. I do whatI can. Hopefully I will get a chance to run tomorrow after all of the freshmen are moved in.

Oh, what to do now? My eyes hurt, and I do not know why. Perhaps I shall go. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, has to get used to being around the college campus again...aluve'

Are you REALLY emo?

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