Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Oh man. Yesterday my sister and I drove 3.5 hours to go to a theme park to see a concert. We saw Cobra Starship, The Academy Is..., Plus 44, and Fall Out Boy. I am not one for that type of music generally speaking, but she paid for my ticket, so why not go, right? Let me tell you, that was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. I was very impressed. They were all great. My sister and I went to the park early so we could get some rides in...we rode all of the roller coasters. It was a fun time. I got uber sunburned. We left at 7:30 that morning, and then got back around 3 this morning. Needless to say, it was a long day. I got to bed around 3:30 or 4, and was up at 6...and then up at 8, and then up at 9:30. By that time, I was angry that I couldn't stay asleep, so I said screw it, and got out of bed. I was pissed. Then, I found out that I had gained some weight, and that the new tire that I got for my car was soft, and to top it all off, we didn't have any peanut butter. It started to be a terrible day. I feel like shit...I am exhausted, and I feel horrible about myself. I feel so disgusting. I just want to be happy with myself. I don't think that's going to happen until I start to lose weight. I really need to. I want to lost 10 pounds by the end of the summer, and I think that's going to be a reasonable goal. I am just so unhappy with life right now that I want to cry. I actually cried this morning. I felt a little better afterward, but not much. My entire body hurts from last night, and I just feel like a mess. I leave for my internship this Friday. I am kind of not looking forward to going because I am so afraid that I am going to be lonely. I am starting to get back into my "I don't want to be around anyone" phase, which happens when I am depressed. It just seems like things have been going down since I got home from the end of the semester. I am upset that I am not going to be spending the summer at camp with my sister. Then again, I am happy because I am going to be helping myself out with grad school by doing this internship. Besides, the people at camp stop talking to me once I go back to school anyway. I am too smart for them. It's hard though, because we form such close friendships over the summer, and then I just feel like that is all thrown away and people forget about the smart gal that goes to that college up north. It just makes me sad, is all. Lately, a lot of things have though. I was supposed to go out with my friend Arion the other night, and I told him that I was babysitting for the entire night, so I couldn't go out. I wasn't though...I was done babysitting at 8. I just felt terrible and looked disgusting, and I didn't want him to see me like that. I mean, he's one of my closest friends that I have here, and I know that he wouldn't notice a one or two pound gain, but I could see it, and that makes me feel like the entire world can see it. It's annoying, because I have had people tell me that I look really good right now. I just wish I could feel as good as people say I look. *sigh* It's just been a rough month. I just hope this summer goes well for me. I really need it to. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is off to try to occupy her mind...aluve'







What Eevee Evolution Are You?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Comments (0)