Saturday, January 19, 2008

Still, I become a teacher because I am 100 times better than all of you. - Eikichi Onizuka.

So, the other day I decided to go to the health center on campus because I was having these chest pains that were getting so bad that it was difficult for me to lay down, and it even hurt for Steven to hug me. So, I went and explained the symptoms to the physician, and I guessed that it was because of a muscle I pulled at the gym or something along those lines. Nope, of course I was wrong. It was due to anxiety...again. I was in class for two days, and already I am stressed. Granted, I was taking 17 credit hours, working 20 hours a week, and having 3-5 hours of rehearsal all planned out on my schedule. The physician prescribed me Zoloft. At first I was all opposed to taking anti-depressants, but looking more into it, Zoloft is also good for treating anxiety disorders and OCD, both of which I have. So, this might be a good thing for me. It's scary, taking a mood-altering drug. It won't kick in until sometime next week since it has to reconfigure the serotonin in my brain, but just waiting for it...I don't know. I ended up dropping a class though: Conservation Biology. I wanted to take it because of the professor teaching the course, but he ended up getting a job with homeland security doing something with forests, so his wife is teaching the course now. I was going to give it a chance at first, but after a meeting with David (my counselor), I realized that I was definitely taking on much more than I could handle. If I was that stressed after the first two days of classes, there is definitely something wrong. So, now I am taking 14 credits, involved in three one-act plays, in charge of recruiting for my fraternity, and working 20 hours a week. Being my last semester and all, it looks like I will at least be making a bit of money. That's a plus.
In addition to all of that, Steven has a single this semester, so I am basically living with him, which is also good for me...it's helping with the whole dealing with life thing. Being around him causes me to feel less stressed, which is always a good thing. I am still worried about what is going to happen next year, and even this summer, but I have started taking things more day by day, which is good for me.
Looks like things are starting to turn around for me. *knocks on wood* Another plus: I liked the way I looked today. I think I am losing weight. W00t. Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is becoming thinner and happier...aluve'





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