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Thursday, September 23, 2004


   ...On My Hands and Knees...
Yeah...there's a long story about that...so I won't get into it. It has been a very rough week...it's Thursday, and today is the first time that I haven't cried since Saturday. So, yeah...it's been tough. I have been talking with Kyle every night since Saturday, (the one that I am having troubles with)and that has helped a little bit. I mean, at least he's not blowing me off or anything, and he is being honest with me as well. I am sure this would make more sense if I said what was going on. Alas, I do not want to go into details. I know some of my friends from home read this, and I do not want them to worry about me. Last night I went back over to State for a movie night -- well, every Wednesday night is movie night, I guess. I like it over there though. I feel at ease there. Well, I feel at ease whenever I am around Kyle, but now that I have made some more friends with theatre and whatnot, I am enjoying myself much more. My ordeal has allowed me to become closer to Kyle's best friend, Cip. He has been a great help for me...offering me advice and just being there for me to make me spill what I was afraid to tell Kyle. I will admit, after I told Kyle what I needed to say, I felt relieved. I have never been able to express my emotions very well, so I got frustrated when I couldn't put my thoughts into words, but I think I did all right for it being my first time. Anyway, last night lifted my spirits a bit...and I haven't cried today...that must count for something. Eventually everything will fall into place; it is just the waiting part that sucks. what can I do though? This is not up to me to decide. I know what I want...surprising, really. aluve'


HASH(0x8cb1eb8)
Villian! Powerful, controlling, you know what you
want and will not stop to get it,


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