Sunday, June 26, 2005

   My Best Friend's Girlfriend Hates Me
And that is the truth. I went to the drive-ins tonight with my best friend and his girlfriend, and she was totally silent the entire time. She never said one word to me, and was a total bitch to Dan (my best friend). I felt bad, but I don't know what I did wrong. Dan invited me along, so it was not my fault at all. Oh well. I know that not everyone in this life will like me, and that is perfectly fine with me. I would rather have it that way, in all honesty. So, today was a day of graduation parties. It kept me busy, so that is a plus. I enjoyed the two that I went to. It was nothing extravagant or anything, just a couple of small parties with some friends. I don't have much to say tonight. I have a few things on my mind...but that is nothing unusual. My talk that I had with my Mumsie last night was great. I think I mentioned that in my last post, but I don't feel like going back to check it out. I really appreciate what she does for me. I tell her that all the time, so she definitely knows it. We think the same way, but she also has different viewpoints on life than I do. She wonders why I over-analyze things and am so serious all of the time. I think it is a defense mechanism. It's also why I don't show my emotions as well. I am afraid of getting hurt. I asked her if she ever thought that I would fall in love. She told me that she was sure I would, and it would come when I least expect it. Isn't that such a "Mom" thing to say? She's probably right though, from what I have heard from other people. I always wonder what it will feel like to fall in love. It is just an intriguing concept for me. The fact that so much emotion can be put into one person...your all can be put into making everything right for that person...I just can't fathom it. I found this one thing that I saved the other day...I had written it down in a notebook years ago, but I think it fits perfectly with this entry:
"Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you can never have them?
When the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips you miss them?
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wish you had not, or saying nothing and wish you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them, words shrink things that seemed timeless when they were in your head...
To no more than living size when they are brought out...
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart,
If you don't, you might break their heart...
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own...when you least suspect it...or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person might not care as much, or not at all.
Have you ever loved someone and they had no idea whatsoever? Or fall for your best friend in the entire world, and then sat around and watched him/her fall for someone else?
Have you ever denied you feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid...afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie...thing thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires us to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had.
No one waits forever..."
And with that, Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, is out...aluve'


Okay so I'm guessing your self image is a little
bit bigger than your actual skill, but that's
okay your school has a nice gym! Also you'll
have to surive the constant dane of
Yanagisawa...er good luck!


Which Prince of Tennis team do you belong on?
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