Monday, April 10, 2006

   A failed attempt at bonding in Japan
This is going to be a slightly different post that normal. Basically because there will no pictures. As those faithful followers know, I was working in Tokyo for 5 months in the year 2000. Almost ancient history but not quite.
While I was there, I got very little social support from my co-workers. The employee assigned to me set me up with my hotel room & later apartment, showed me how to get to work & that was about it. I went out to dinner with japanese coworkers a total of... maybe 5 times in the 5 months. When I left the office I was truly on my own. I have felt separate and alone while in the US, but that does not really compare. I couldn't even casually strike up a conversation with someone at a store or subway. At work, I spent most of the time getting materials ready for the once a week training session I would have with the local employees. Even then, I got very little feedback or conversation from the trainees. The only time I really got to talk to anyone was the once a day call to my wife. The other 23 hours I spent watching TV I didn't understand, mall hopping, finding new places to eat cheaply or hitting the arcades.

There was a brief exception - I hooked up with some people originally from Australia and England that had been living in Japan for 9-15 years. Wow, people I could talk to in english. What a concept. I agreed to meet them at an english pub called... "the Rising Sun" I believe. The owner of the establishment has been there over 25 years & makes his own sausage (that was the only good sausage I found in Tokyo). Well, we started with a sausage dinner & 3 or four pints of ale. I had brought about $120 with me - I figured that would be plenty for dinner and a few drinks (even @ $10 per beer). I am not a heavy drinker, so this seemed like plenty. Well, after a couple of hours at that establishment, we went to Roppongi - the foreigner district - to a german place. I distinctly remember refusing beer whenever it was offered to me, yet I still ended up with 4 beers there. Then at 1:00am, that establishment closed and we moved to a bar that was as far as I could tell a converted subway car. It was tight in there. Well... more beers & I ran out of money. $120 gone. Well, they were kind enough to buy me... uhh... one or more rounds. At 3 or 4am (with over 12 pints in my system at this time, memory tends to be not quite so reliable) I asked my new found "friends" which way to my apartment from there. They indicated that the subways don't start running until 6am, so I should just stay with them until then. They also handed me a flyer for some event that they were going to @ 7pm that night. I insisted & they gave me instructions on how to walk home.
It took longer than it should have. Don't ask me how long. I'm not sure. And no, I do not know how many buidlings I had to lean on (but I only watered one plant & was very thankful that there were no police around at the time). I finally made it to my apartment just as the sun was coming up. I was not feeling well... to say the least. I think around noon I managed to get up to drink some water. Other than that, it was 7pm before I could even think of eating or standing up for something that I did not consider life-threatening or at least very messy. Needless to say, I was not able to meet up with them for whatever event they invited me to that evening. I made no further attempts to contact them during my stay.

Also of note: All of the bars allowed smoking & the leather jacket I wore that night had to be hung outside to air out for the next week before I could wear it again.

So - I did want companionship, but my body and brain decided that I didn't want it that bad.

During my last month in Tokyo, another english speaking employee was brought in from another office. He was originally from Canada & had relocated to Australia. He was set up with a room in the same apartment complex, so I could help him adjust to Tokyo. He didn't adjust well. He was not very adventurous - in any way. I was to the point of not wanting to go out to eat with him because every restaurant we would go to, he would ask for bar-b-que. Yup, japanese, sushi or chinese restaurant, he was asking for Bar-B-Q. I actually did accompany him to a McDonalds once (I didn't order anything there, that was my vow to myself - no McD's while in Tokyo) It did however give me someone to talk to. If we were working together in the US, I probably would give him professional courtesy, but would not make an effort to spend any time with him outside of the office. From what I heard, once I left, he only lasted 1 or 2 weeks by himself in Tokyo and returned to Australia about 3 months early.

Now, I am happily back in the USA with my lovely wife who I can talk to in english anytime I want. I can try talking to her in japanese, but she would understand it about the same as the people I spoke japanese to in Tokyo - not at all.

Until next time.
-bunraku
Comments (15)