Saturday, March 1, 2008

Damn it, damn it, damn it.
I swear to god if one more of my online friends dumps their problems on me I'm going to kill someone. I'm not their bloody diary and I'm sick of hearing them bitch about how they hate each other. It's bad enough that one of them keeps trying to get me to join her in badmouthing another of my friends AT THE SAME TIME that another of my friends is telling me how bad she feels that the friend the first friend wants me to badmouth is feeling unwelcome.

Probably made no sense to you but it made sense to me and damn it I wish it would all just STOP. Honestly? Being a teenager and going to highschool and living with my mom is not easy and I don't need friends making it even harder. That's not to say I don't like them. I do. I just hate it when they feel the need to share all their problems with me. Friends are supposed to support each other but there's only so much support a person can give without getting any back in return because the friends are too busy getting their own support.

Honestly, if things continue like this I might just stop coming online altogether except to write stories and do homework.. and Sekai no Melody stuff. But that should be okay as none of the people who tend to use me as a diary go there.

But then I'd feel bad because I'd miss the times when they weren't dumping their shit on me.

Guh.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I hope Monday comes soon. I want to see my real-life friends again, I miss them already. Maybe I should like... randomly show up on their doorstep or something and spend the weekend with them, take the weekend off from the 'net...

Like that'll actually happen. :/ Blargh.
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Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm a liar hahaha.
Said I'd post more but I didn't. Oh, well. I'll do it when I get home from school today.

LATER MYOTAKU I BETTER GET GOING OR ELSE I'LL BE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE. 8D
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Saturday, January 5, 2008

Life Update
Wow. It's been awhile - a year and a couple of months. Happy 2008!

So let's see where I am now.

I think I've changed a lot since I last wrote here. I'm seeing a shrink now, for one - though that could change, I'm thinking of just refusing to go soon. She's not helping at all, I feel more frustrated after I talk to her now. I'm supposed to go to stop my "violent thoughts" or "homicidal thoughts" or whatever it was she called them - so why is it that they're only really surfacing AFTER I start seeing the person who's supposed to stop them? If you ask me this little problem was caused by the people who were trying to "solve" it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, yeah?

I've stopped dying my hair so often - I think only maybe two or three times in the last year? Definitely less than I did in sixth and seventh... man, I hope I never start doing that again. I don't know what I was thinking. Dying my hair purple that one time was a DISASTER. XP I miss my hair being blonde. I might get it dyed back to its original color soon, I'm getting tired of being a brunette/redhead thing.

My social life has steadily been improving, I guess. I don't just sit around at home all the time now, though I do still spend a lot of time online. My relationship with my mom hasn't really improved - we're still at each others' throats all the time. My brother's still annoying but he has more "nice moments" than he used to. I think we're actually starting to get along like we did when we were younger.

I'm still a procrastinator, though. As we speak I've got a huge English assignment due in two days that I ought to have started at the beginning of break and a bunch of driver's ed tests that I meant to finish during the break looming. The sooner I get it done the better, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's kinda... dull. I don't like dull.

I'm on the brink of a megahuge grounding if I don't bring my math grade up, but Mr. Talley or however you spell his name (is there even supposed to be an e in there?) is letting me turn in my assignments for full credit and is also letting me retake a test I bombed. He says I should definitely be able to bring it up before the semester grades come out. Now if I can just make sure my English grade doesn't drop, I'm set. I'll just have to work hard before the semester ends. Then once the new one starts I won't let myself get behind and I can coast like I usually do.

Still haven't seen much of Dad, but that could change. He was talking about having us come visit, maybe sometime during the summer. I think this summer's going to be a travelling one - we've also got plans to visit my aunt in Washington DC. We were going to do it during this break but it didn't really work out - my mom couldn't get enough time off. So we're either going to visit her for spring break or summer vacation. And when we go there, we're gonna go up to New York, too! It should be fun. Big cities are awesome and I've got a friend who's going to try to meet up with us there to show us around. Surprisingly, my mom's actually okay with this - she says she doesn't care as long as the friend shows us some good places to go shopping at! I guess that's good, but she better not make us go bankrupt. @__@

I'm going to go to AX during the summer, too. Even if I have to walk down there! I'm probably going to cosplay Anna again, and definitely Kagome so Tohru and I can do the Koga thing we planned to do last summer. XD

Aya and I are going to do a Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni fandub once I stop procrastinating on getting the audition thread set up, and I'm going to do a Disgaea fandub for mixing practice. :3 I've tried out for a few (more like two) productions, but I don't think I'm going to get a part. That's actually good, because that way I won't be able to let anyone down if I get grounded. Producing a fandub will be easier to pass off as a school project, and so long as I don't spend too much time uploading things it'll be harder to get caught.

There's other stuff too, but I'm taking too much time - we're gonna go up to dinner soon, and one of my grandma's friends made something for dessert. So I guess I'm going to wrap this up. Later, myotaku! Expect to see a lot more of me after this. :3
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