Monday, January 23, 2006

some very random lyrics
Damn! Another stain in ya draws
Dun reached the fan so your fear is wall to wall
Oh wait maybe it’s me I’m born with it
Cause ever since the womb the boy just shit lyrics
Word after word I think my stomach mad at me
Cause it’s been upset since before I had acne
There’s a real reason why the rappers ain’t bitten me
You catch that diarrhea then your shittin me
I got the runs 26 mile marathons
Shitting bricks that’s alright but there a ton
They confuse it with some Coca Cola off brand Pepsi
It’s stumping Mr. Pibb and Dr. Pepper doesn’t have the remedy
Don’t drink my water especially during a binge
Should have renamed the CD CT’s revenge
With Montezuma on the cover for the pic
Before it’s set and done I know I made you say oh shit
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Saturday, December 31, 2005

just dropping...
ai now!!
Check out my songs on myspace.com/capricioustyrant ya heard..
and myspace.com/capricioustyrantspeaks
and
look me up on tightbeatz.com
ya dig
peace bitches
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Monday, December 19, 2005

BAck in BizNazz
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!

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Thursday, December 15, 2005

What do you do when you're wrong...
And now I found out just how wrong I was about the whole situation...
Why did I have to go so far so fast?
Do I truly know what I think I know anymore?
I love her and yet here I am thinking only of myself and not her too. I wished I knew what I know now before I fucked everything up...
And now I feel useless...
unimportant...
and plain stupid...
I knew I couldn't live without her, since I'm without her do I live...?
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Wednesday, December 7, 2005

This should explain it all
When I was little, had dreams of loving love till I die
Watching multiple couples breaking up and asking 'em why
Why didi you even bother coming together to leave with nothing
Wasting all that time to find out that your buttons
Are easily pushed fighting over meaningless things
And here I thought that love connquers what fate brings
And here I thought that love was all you need in this world
That if I found the one that's all I need is this girl, but
Here a divorce, there a divorce celebrities go to courts
Plenty women go abort single parents hold the forts
But of course, love is at the heart of this complex
Valentine's day and no one's hip with the con yet
But even still without it life was a bore
Not having love is kind of like what it is like to be poor
And so I liked the thought of love even more than before
Loved love at first sight but do I love love anymore...

Is it really like a car off the lot
Sitting pretty at the dealerships but rot on the block
Is is really like a natural resource
Perfect when it's found but when it runs out
Either a crisis or we move on to another one
Ain't no dragging on when it's done cause when it's done it's done
Done had its run done had your fun
Then glad your ass can leave fast as classes have
In the past for whom the bell tolls its over
But from the outside it seems the shoulders colder
So then I move in people like me win
The damsel in distress cause they impressed with sending
Of out thoughts and feelings emotions we wager
But what's the use of settling down when a teenager
But evert since I could remember way bofore I was four
I loved love at first sight but do I love love anymore...
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DOOMSDAY!... or not?
The break up has happened! Yes, it has. I realized that it is way too early to take hold of the responsibilty of love. I need to be free and have fun with life. Instead of tyring to be the perfect guy, I can now be the huge screw up that I truly I am.
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Sunday, December 4, 2005

Full Circle
It's been two years. Look at myself. These two posts have that same amount of depression in them. Maybe I should leave her and become some worthless playboy...



2/18/2004
Well today, as with many days, I've learned a lot about myself and about the world. On top of that the gaping void in my life is...
get bigger with every breath I take. I'll just take you through the day.

As usual I woke up and washed up and everything. Then I went on the bus. It is so disheartening to sit on a bus full of people and sit right in the middle of the crowd, yet no one can talk to you. NO ONE!!! To me it happens every day.

Well I came to scshool and I wanted to go about my usual plan which consist of me b******* to myself in a corner about life like I'm doing right now for about 5 mins., then I would gather the courage to try to talk to well you know...

But today was no different from the others... I went directly to the computer to check my site and see if anyone was kind enough to leave a comment or sign in. Then one of my "friends" kindly invited me to go follow them somewhere. As I walked through the halls I saw her...

with him the other guy... (I don't want to say their names but they know who they are) So instead of saying "hi" followed by a witty remark (lol, my specialty).
I walked away without looking at her once...

Well a few periods later I'm in 4th and there is this episode with me and this other girl (who as usual I don't know if she is my friend or not), Just last year she was kicking me in my...

After school, I saw the girl I was after (you know the girl I made the poem about) Well without names this gets confusing but anyway) This girl from JROTC was there. I told her little about my situation in order to manipulate her into helping me.

Well she helped allright. She helped to the point that I don't want to go with the girl in poem anymore... Like I said my first name is Capricious so it should not be so suprising. The real reason is basically I wanted someone to talk to, about what I feel, and someone who understands me. Someone who fills that gap. That void. If I couldn't talk to her much less make eye contact with her how in the bluest of blue hells is she ever going to be with me. I guess that with my witty, funny, cool, outter shell no one wants my true inner self. I will always truly be alone even with all of the friends that I get along the way.
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One step foward
So I was talking to my girl and I realize how different I am from this world. For one thing, I found out I was an Agnostic one step away from being a complete Atheist. While my girl is deeply tied to religion. I'm reading this book Atlas Shrugged and the one thing that I can see clearly is that sex is the one thing that gives one the purest form of joy ever. Yet I can't get it now cause it is "wrong". Not only to do but to feel like doing. I want to do it. I want my girl to give me something that no other should be able to give me. Sex is the one thing that you and you're love should share. Your friends can't give you that. Yet, the one stigma that is put on sex is that it is "dirty". Come on now... Anyways, I want to be alone with my love and share just that my love. However, there are two sides to every story so I have to respect her feelings as well... That is one reason why I feel so bad all the time. Deep down inside, my love for her is so strong that naturally I want her sexually as well. I have her mentally and emotionally why can't I just get it all you know? Well, I love her and don't want to hurt her, but there is one thing I cannot shake. I went into this relationship thinking that I could contain my wants for when I can get what I want, because at the time I didn't want that from her. However, the longer that this drags on I realized not only am I not that same person anymore, she hasn't changed you know. She wants me like true enough but she is more willing to fight herself more that I am willing to fight myself for I feel that fighting myself is a waste of time and that I need to get what I want. When I get what I want I am inherently free. I thought that this relationship would finally set me free however it has chained me more that ever. It has made me see me for who I truly am. If you are reading this baby I warn you again: Break up with me while you still have the chance...


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Friday, December 2, 2005

Hi
Haven't had much to say lately so im not going to say much now. Reason being no one visiting and no one is listening (expect for two). Anyways, I'm not one to do futile things for long so I'll stop talking...
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Friday, October 21, 2005

OWNED!!
I think I just got screwed. I can't even look at my post anymore for some reason. It don't matter. I'll just see if I can drop in for a minute.
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