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myOtaku.com: Capricious Tyrant


Sunday, December 4, 2005


Full Circle
It's been two years. Look at myself. These two posts have that same amount of depression in them. Maybe I should leave her and become some worthless playboy...



2/18/2004
Well today, as with many days, I've learned a lot about myself and about the world. On top of that the gaping void in my life is...
get bigger with every breath I take. I'll just take you through the day.

As usual I woke up and washed up and everything. Then I went on the bus. It is so disheartening to sit on a bus full of people and sit right in the middle of the crowd, yet no one can talk to you. NO ONE!!! To me it happens every day.

Well I came to scshool and I wanted to go about my usual plan which consist of me b******* to myself in a corner about life like I'm doing right now for about 5 mins., then I would gather the courage to try to talk to well you know...

But today was no different from the others... I went directly to the computer to check my site and see if anyone was kind enough to leave a comment or sign in. Then one of my "friends" kindly invited me to go follow them somewhere. As I walked through the halls I saw her...

with him the other guy... (I don't want to say their names but they know who they are) So instead of saying "hi" followed by a witty remark (lol, my specialty).
I walked away without looking at her once...

Well a few periods later I'm in 4th and there is this episode with me and this other girl (who as usual I don't know if she is my friend or not), Just last year she was kicking me in my...

After school, I saw the girl I was after (you know the girl I made the poem about) Well without names this gets confusing but anyway) This girl from JROTC was there. I told her little about my situation in order to manipulate her into helping me.

Well she helped allright. She helped to the point that I don't want to go with the girl in poem anymore... Like I said my first name is Capricious so it should not be so suprising. The real reason is basically I wanted someone to talk to, about what I feel, and someone who understands me. Someone who fills that gap. That void. If I couldn't talk to her much less make eye contact with her how in the bluest of blue hells is she ever going to be with me. I guess that with my witty, funny, cool, outter shell no one wants my true inner self. I will always truly be alone even with all of the friends that I get along the way.

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