Wednesday, May 3, 2006

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(on teachers comp at skool its 3:17pm)well these really nothing to be too happy about 4 me really!every thing going good with my friends and stuff! but i not happy inside! i feel sick and i don't no y tho! when i breath out it hurts! when i cough it hurts more! and i cough but i'm not sick! and i have been coughing alot! lately! i have no harm not to myself yet! my friends at skool don't no the out come! i have been drinking tea...........but not ruguler tea i have been drinking sleepy time extra tea! it makes u sleepy! but i don't care! i wrote more of "An angel's lost love" in my book! buti haven't posted it in a while! it's not that i am on writer's block that i don't post it it's b/c i just don't feel like it! and the parts i have to post i really don't want to but i can't skip parts! i still want to die! i feel really bad! i'm sum what sleepy! i just have to say IF ANY OF U PPL FEEL BAD 4 ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL HAVE TO KILL U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i HATE ppl to pitty me or feel sorry 4 me! i lost a love the love of my life! yesterday my life went around in a spin! i can't think right any more well atleast i was ableto pass my math test but i still don't no how that happened! last night i tryed to cry my self to sleep but i couldn't cry at all! i'm pissed 4 sum reason! and i don't no y! i'm confused! i sick of lieing to my friends and saying i'm ok when i'm not! and giving then a fake @$$ smile! but maybe if they say through it who nos what might happen! life sucks! it must be true! I"M NOT MENT 4 LOVE! i horraible at it! it doesn't matter who i try to love i always end up broken! sum way or another! i don't really give a damn any more! i'm pissed 4 sum reason! but i don't no y tho! maybe i'm pissed at myself! YEP thats what it is! i'm pissed at myself! at this moment i couls get hit by a car and not care! 4 sum 1 who cares alot about her friends........she doesn't give a damn about herself! i'm confusing myself once more! i'm waiting 4 the end! b/c i no it might be soon! y must my eyes water but not cry?!? and i have a gift for 2 of my friends over the otaku! it's a drawing! that i'm almost done with but i need to ask sum1 a question or 2! so hold on i'll i finish it! my angel with out wings is gone! but it's 4 the better! i could never measure up to her! his love! but i no that 4 a fact! so i don't even try! instead i'm happy 4 them and i have sum thing 4 them!! i'm pained and sick! so y bother trying any more! if i make it till my b-day with out a mark on my arm! then who nos what 'm thinking! it would be amazing! so *sigh* now i'm sad and depressed and pissed! i'll talk to u guys later! i can't put my fave smiley on here b/c if i do.........i would be lieing to u guys that i'm happy! so ya cya later bye Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

y half of the time i put my friend's feelings be4 mine? is it b/c i want every1 to be happy while be4 i'm happy? even when i'm on the eage of killing myself? y do i do this? i just don't want any1 go get hurt! if i die...............i want NO1 to be sad! insted i want then to have a BIG party! and be super happy! but i do i want this? y must i be this way? y must i want to c every1 happy with big smiles on there faces while i'm about to slit my wrist! YYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? i just don't understand any more! i never did! i wish sum1 would help me!.......................or just take all this pain away from me.............or sum thing............just help me out sum how...or sum way! Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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love!
y does love bring so much happnies?
yet causes so much pain?
how come it make us fell good.
and then crush u where we stand?
y does love hurt?
y do love hurt when theres nothing there any more?
how can love bring so much joy?
yet cause so many tears?
y can't i cry?
i want to cry my eyes out!
i want to cry myself to sleep!
but i can't i?
my heart is crushed!
my soul is broken!
y won't tears fall!?
y?
y?
they want to come out!
i no it!
they want to fall!
i no longer feel pain,
i no longer see hope,
but y won't i cry?
y won't i shed a tear?
i feel like i have nothing to live for any more.
but i still smile.
i smile to keep the ones i love happy,
i smile even tho it hurts,
as long as there happy,
every thing is right.
i want them to be happy,
so i smile to show then every thing is ok,
even tho it's not,
every is not ok,
i'm not ok!
but who really cares?
i'm nothing comapred to the world,
so y do i live?
y do i live to feel all this pain?
i live to show that every thing is ok,
even tho it's not,
Love is crushs feelings,
it crushes hearts.
so y do i love?
i should just give love up.
b/c love will never find me.
i will never find love.
crying won't help!
so y don't i just die?
i want to end this one and 4 all.
to end all this pain!
just to end it NOW!
i no longer feel pain any more!
my heart is sharted,
my soul is dead.
so y do i still breath? Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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hihi!
hihi! ppl! it's me once more! sorry i haven't been posting! well thats b/c my internet is still down! T.T i miss aim! and all mu buddies on there T.T! well right now i'm at skool. on my teacher's comp >.>..<.<. lol. well she nosas that i am n_n her and me mom r friends. well yaya thats only b/c they work at the same job lol! yaya i no i have problems! so yaya yesterday i got my cable back bbbbuuuuuuuuuuutttttt! the modom 4 the comp 4sum reason is not working! XP and it's not even a year old XP!!!! so yaya i'm on here just looking around me site! since i haven't been her in a while XP well it's 3:11pm here and i have 2 wait 4 my mom b/c she is in a meeting! and i wonder >.> *looks at teachers grade book* lol just kidding! Xp i wouldn't do that! O.O'''' or would i?O.o well ya Lemon Demon is the BEST band ever created! and so yaya! i got sum questions 4 u ppl!
1)What is ur fav band/group/singer/ect.?
2)Do u trust me? O.o
3)Do u trest me aanough to fallow me? when i take over the world?
4)R u hungry at this moment? (b/c i no oi am XP)
5)What mood r u feeling now?
6)What do u want to be?
7)Do u think that these r too many questions?
8)What do u think of me?
9)Do u have any pets?
10)Where do u want to travel too?
11)Have u ever wanted to die?
12)What do u think my reason 4 asking all these questions is?
13)Would u kill/died 4 sum 1 u loved?)
14)What is ur fav number?
15)What is ur fav color?
16)So u like pie?
17)Do u think this is the last question?
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18)Did u enjoy the pix?
19)Done!
20)plz answer the questions but leaving a post or by sending my a pm! so yaya cya ppl! yater bye n_n Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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Saturday, April 29, 2006

hihi!
hihi i no i haven't been posting much! thats b/c i have no internet at home! well it's 8:30pm here and i'm at my grandpa's house on my aunt's comp! and i just got back from my aunt's wedding! on my dad's site! so yaya it was ok but i hate dresses! XP and make-up and i had to wear both of them XP so yaya! well thats b/c i was in the wedding! and yesterday and today my cousin was hitting on my mom O.o odd i no! but yesterday he started to hit on me a little! but it was very odd! XP he's like 20 sum thing! and i'm 13! so yaya thast been going on! and i'm going to get my internet back on monday!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! so yaya i want to talk to sum1 but it's seems like i won't be able to till monday! and my hair is in a bun XP and it's killing meXP i have to wear it till monday! so yaya i guess ill talk to u guys later cya bye n_n
Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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Thursday, April 27, 2006

it's 4:33
well i talked to him! lol i no i was happy then sad and now i'm so-so! he went sum where! but thoes 4 days killed me inside! i hope i talk to him later on today! well still i'm a little sad! but i don't no y tho! XP once more i'm confused! my friend says i worry to much ^^''' but i can't help it! so yaya! so he didn't block me! XP i was just being........... so ya well worring is nothing but caring right O.o? well it is too me! but i don't worry alot but yet i do! well i do care alot but it's not really the same as worring! so yaya cya later! much bye n_n Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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i'm sad..........it's 4:08pm
i no i just posted a few mins. ago! and i was happy! but now i'm sad! b/c i was just think if the One person blocked me! or sum thing! and i can't help but get sad over this........... i just don't want to lose another one..........or maybe i'm getting sad over nothing but still! the thought is a pone my mind and it won't leave!

(no1 know that this is what i want to do) Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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   HIHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it's 3:50pm
hihi ppl it's nice to talk to u guys again! ^o^ i would have been on yesterday but they cut the internet off! since the net it connected to the cable and they turned the cable off! so i could not post! so yaya! i'm SO HAPPY! b/c i'm on me aunts comp! soyaya! but i have been sad the last 4 days! b/c i could not talk to that ONE person! T.T i miss him so much! and when i was on he was not on! T.T! i miss him SO MUCH! well last night i relize that i don't think my mom trust me anymore when it comes to talking to ppl on the net! she made me watch the internet predator last night on tv!-.- and in the dare class yesterday we were also talking about internet predators! XP well it kind of bothered me a bit tho! so yaya! today was "take ur child to work day" st skool but i didn't go! i went to skool! it was cool b/c not even 1/2 of the skool was there! it was awsome! ^o^ well i still miss him! and remember i told u guys about the crulation problems in my hands right? well my thumb on my left hand is COLD!!!!! i had s popsecale and it was cold of corse! ^^ and now my thumb is cold! XP so yaya i guess i'll talk to u ppl later! and have a good day! ^.^ bye n_n Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

'ello ppl!
it's 6:41am here and i'mposting late! i can't sleep right! i'm not b/c of the hunger pains in my stomch! it's just that i haven't talk to sum 1 since Sunday! amd it's be bothering latly!! so uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm..........O na dlast night right be4 i went to bed! the pain where killing me so i go into the kitchen and get a mongo! i'm like yum! so yaya i eat it and thats all my stomch wanted was sum FRUIT!!!!!!! well that was last night! but in the middle of me eating i wanted to throw it up again! i don't no y tho! it was good! but i didn't! and i was home alone! so then this morning when i go to get sum apple juice 4 brakefast like every day! i wanted to throw up!?!?! and i don'y no y tho! this has been really odd! b/c i didn't eat any thing since last night! so i get me sum apple juice! i want to what the HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!w it's not like me to be doing this! but i proobly no y it's like this but i just won't excpte! but i doubt thats the reason! and yesterday i was at my grandpa's house and since i downloaded aim on there so i can talk on InuMosho1221 4 sum reason my friends said sum one was on but on my buddy list they were off! O.o and i going crazy?!?! i don't no whats wrong with me any more!! i don't think i even no who i am any more! XP ppl i really don't wamt to gp back there! back to where i didn't even no who i am! XP i must this happen to me! and i haven't been daydreaming latly but i don't no y tho! and be it's b/c i haven't talked to that sum1 in a while! XP as happy i look! maybe i'm not that happy inside! but it's odd! b/c most of the time i am happy! andm i am now but i just want to no whats going on with me inside! b/c maybe i'll figuer it out soon! so yaya cya around later bye n_n Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

hihi
HEY U!!!!!! lo0l thats what i have been saying all day lol! so yaya it's 3:12 and i'm in my mom's class room! i still feel bad! my stomch is killing me! i would c if there selling pazzia now but i really don't feel like it! so yay! and today i didn't even have a bag of chip today at lunch! XP i no i should be eating more but i'm not hungry! my stomch causes me a ltot of pain but i deal with it! well it's not as bad as this morning! i felt like throing up! but there was nothing to throw up!x.x so yaya! maybe thats y i feel sleepyer now! but who nos! and i feel like sleeping when i'm not even sleepy! O.o odd i no! 4 sum reason i'm waiting till i fall out b/c of this but the real question is y am i waiting 4 this? well i don't no! last night i just said "when am i going to fall out b/c of this?" i'm a confused person! i have been daydreaming more tho! i can't help it! i dazed off so bad last night when i did my homework that i almost went to sleep! but it was not that bad today b/c of the stomch pain! so yaya! OO and to night is y art show!!!!!! n_n at my skool we always have an end of the year art show! so yaya! i'm sorry i 4got to tell u guys eariler! so yay i will not be on aim after about i would say 6:45pm! or so! so ya! ad i thinks thats all! well cya around talk to ya guys later n_n bye!
from,...... Mommy + Daddy = i support Tamaki and Kyouya love<3 I<3 Mommy and Daddy! Ouran High School Host Club is Love <3 98% of teens say "I love you" ... but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile.98% of teens say “I would die for you” … but only 2% actually mean it, if you are part of that 2% add this to your profile 98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this into your profile
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