Saturday, March 15, 2008

Candy colour
In my last post I mentioned or more so question what would be the result of people unlearning the illusionary differences between man and women ect, well I have just finished watching ‘Paprika’ Satoshi Kon’s last film. The entire film was centred around this childlike dream that was slowing consuming and corrupting people as a result of a device created where buy people could view and enter each others dreams. The character that created this particular device was constantly described as child like genius throughout the entire film. His purpose in creating this device was so that friends could share each other’s dreams a very innocent reasoning. Although this entire theme of the childlike genius got me thinking about the way in a lot of anime there is this character that even though being an adult of extreme intelligence they possess a child’s innocence and curiosity. These characters are able to view the world through this somewhat candy coloured perception everything they do is merely a way to satisfy their curiosity or to have fun.
Ok this may just be me viewing the film the way I want it to be viewed but at the point in the film where other adult characters are entrapped by this dream that is fundamentally a parade of childhood fascinations they are ultimately sent insane and try to kill themselves. Could it be that once we reach our adulthood our minds are no longer capable of withstanding that childlike innocence and curiosity? We have responsibility we have experienced the real world we are no longer able to view everything candy coloured the way a child would and buy being forcibly exposed to this reverted state of mind our already conditioned minds can not handle this innocent escape from reality and we would be sent insane? But with these childlike geniuses they are able to maintain a mental state of a child by ignoring the conditioning of reality and therefore live a carefree existence were they may not be considered functioning members of adult society but they are admired buy the conditioned/ adjusted adult surrounding them.

Trust it to be Salinger to help me regain my train of thought. I was reading ‘Teddy’ one of my absolute favourite Salinger pieces; yes it actually rivals ‘Zooey’ and ‘Catcher in the Rye’. In the story Teddy talks about how when Adam ate the apple in the Garden of Eden that apple contained logic. Because of that humans have to label everything especially adults. But if you were able to get children before they were conditioned by society and actually have them spew up every piece of the apple they would no longer possess this logic that they use to forcibly label everything. I think this is what I was trying to say. These childlike adults that possess defying intelligence have been able to stop themselves from consuming any more logic then the initial amount they were born with. Therefore as adults they were able to look at the world without the distinguishing boundaries. And this is where the key of innocence comes into it all they don’t recognise what is viewed as right or wrong and that is why they are able to defy the adult society and reach an all-new higher level of intelligence or skill. Its very much like I mentioned once before in the ‘Cowboy Bebop’ episode ‘Perrie Le Fou’ Tongpu is the perfect killing machine because of his innocence he does not understand the meaning of death or pain that’s why his is able to be the ultimate assassin or as Jet describes him ‘Like a child pulling the wings off a fly’.

Ok so basically as adults educated with logic inturn possess this determination to label and define everything in the world it becomes impossible for them to view the world outside a given definition without jeopardising their level of sanity. As occurred within the film when adults were exposed to the dream it corrupted their minds. But these adults that have chosen to defy the adult conversion and therefore not swallow anymore pieces of the apple of logic are able to view the world in a boundless manner therefore gives them a level of intelligence that defies normal adult thinking they are able to truly think outside the box.


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Thursday, February 28, 2008

And I need a man why?
‘All legitimate religious study must lead to unlearning the differences, the illusory differences, between boys and girls, animals and stones, day and night, heat and cold’ From Zooey by Salinger. This is the precise reason that Salinger has and always will be my literary idol. Although he is talking about religion in this particular situation it really applies to society as a whole. There is always that obvious distinction that one is more valued then the other and that capabilities and personality are differentiated according to sex. Yes it is anatomically true that there are physical differences between man and women but these are blown entirely out of proportion by society. Darwin wrote in the ‘Decent of Man’ that while man may have a bigger brain then women the actual portion of both sides of the brain used is much smaller therefore women make up in brainpower what they lack in strength.
Ok so we all know that I’ve studied Darwin for years and have an intense belief in evolution, but I also can’t stand the stereotypical nature of society, yes we are back to the box analogy again but come on its been a while since I’ve screamed COME ON BREAK FREE OF THE BOX! LIVE OUTSIDE SOCIETIES EXPECTATIONS! Wow that felt good lol. As you’ve probably guessed yes this another bitch resulting from over exposure to society and wait a new element reading too much shoujo *gasp* first yaoi now shoujo I’m actually reading non-cynical texts full of cute love stories *double gasp*

So I’ve been noticing a lot of similarities in all these titles there is an attractive boy who falls for the common girl, and in every case the common girl is chastised by other girls for being with the attractive guy. Its like they seem to have no respect for what the other people want. I think I would have just ignored this as stupid if I didn’t know that this is a scenario developed from reality. Why is that girl's have this urge to be so possessive of another person? Is this something that’s built into the brain of the majority of girls or is it just something that has developed from constant conditioning from birth being read cute fairy tales that state that because its some what rare a males purity should be protected at all times. Personally I’ve never been the jealous type even when I dated I was happy to let my partner do what they wanted with the opposite sex because I had no right in telling them what to do, just like they had no right controlling my actions.

Which brings me to the next point this constant distinction of the weak female being saved by her knight in shinning armor. Its like from the moment we’re born these fairy tales are being exposed to us, now you act all feminine and grow up to be a beautiful women that will make a man happy. WHAT ABOUT MY HAPPINESS? I don’t want to be dependant on another person my entire life, I might struggle through life but just because I’m a women doesn’t mean I can’t kick ass myself and survive. But even in today’s society that struggle for independency is even harder for women then men. When it comes to a job that needs strength and determination 80 % the time a man will be chosen over a women even if the women is actually the more capable person. Its infuriating society still only views women as the child bearer. And women with independent thought are looked down on by those around her, because they think she should only live for a man. I refuse to let my value in society be determined by whether I chose to have a person by my side or not, I live my life for myself entirely not for anyone else, and if someone wants be to suddenly do everything for their sake they can get screwed.

Recently I was reading an article in a magazine; yes I should be banned from reading women’s magazines when I’m severely bored because I just end up bitching here for a whole page. Anyway it was an article on understanding the male mind, I though it would be good for a laugh … well I guess it did make me kind of laugh so. I got half way through the article and realized everything they were describing as standard male thoughts was exactly the way I think … I have the mind of a standard male. Apparently that’s what make me so great according to my male friends it means I’m not complicated like the standard female. But it got me thinking if I’m not like all the other conditioned females in this god-forsaken world why am I still treated like them buy all the conditioned males? Sure there are a few males that treat me independently and as an individual but there are very few. I still have guys wanting to protect me even though I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself, and when I confront them with this they don’t deny that fact but they say they just act out of habit because its the right thing to do.
So basically does that mean if we were to take all these conditioned standards away of what makes a man a man and a women a women there wouldn’t be such sexist stereotypes? So if a child is raised to view both and man as equal, only being taught the standard anatomical differences, and not exposed to romantic fairy tales or the acts of chivalry they could possibly grow into an adult that views both man and women as equal?


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Saturday, January 5, 2008

NANA - love might actually exist ... only in illusions
Maybe I’m getting more accepting as I get older or I’m just selling out and becoming a standard member of society, but I seem to be reading and watching more female directed titles that revolve around romance and actually enjoying them. First ‘The Devil Does Exist, then ‘Tramps Like Us’, then ‘Ouran High School Host Club’ and now ‘NANA’ *sigh*. But as I’ve discussed about most of these titles in previous post each one has an element of individuality that in some way fights against societies standard rules.
I’ve just started watching NANA and am only half way through it but I love it already especially the relationship between Nana and Ren.

It is Ren that shows a dependency on Nana but not in a pathetic grasping for constant affection and attention. In the beginning he is a known womaniser but after meeting Nana he changes that, but it’s not made overly important to the story line as would be expected, its only mentioned once.
He is the one that chases her, but he allows her freedom while making his intentions perfectly clear, yes he does want to create a family with her and grow old together but he is not selfish enough to demand that from her instantly he is happy to let her stay independent and follow her own selfish dreams. Then when he decides to leave for Tokyo he allows her absolute freedom to make her own decision where by she leaves him. But just as it breaks her to do so it has an equal affect on him too, they are both devastated but are still independent enough to keep moving forward which is refreshing. They don’t stop their lives there and dwell on the past, they both continue on their way through life. Although I found it really funny that when they are reunited after 2 years it is him that instantly breaks, she is crying in the audience but he is so overwhelmed that he breaks his normal composure during the performance and stuffs up his piece slightly then afterwards runs in a panic straight to Yasu for reassurance. He basically plays the high school girl who has just run into an Ex and panics. But Nana maintains her composure and dominance calling him to set things straight and when they are reunited she is surprised by his overwhelmed response he grabs her runs to his room and embraces while she struggles against him. But this scene played out much different to most anime’s he was not embracing a hysterical women in an attempt to calm her and supply her with secure warmth it was more like he was just soo afraid to be away from her he needed her for his own security he was once again dependant on her, not the other way around which is soo commonly portrayed in any kind of love story. Even afterwards when he wakes and to find that he’s alone again he has a look of panic and calls her name.
I love that he called out for her in panic he is a male character that is able to maintain his masculinity while being dependant on a women. There is no question posed about his manhood it’s just accepted. Its soo refreshing to see that he holds nothing back from her or the people around him everyone see’s this side to him and still they all idolise him, he isn’t classed as being kept or ‘whipped’ as in society he would be. And there are no comments made about her pursuit of independence either sure they say that she’s scary at times but there are not references to their relationship being abnormal or anything people just accept that that’s the way they are and ignore the difference to standard society, really the only comment made is about the abnormality that after 2 years with no contact they can return to the way they were.

I guess that this whole thing has gotten me thinking that if a relationship in reality were to be like this that maybe love does exist. They are entirely themselves they don’t constantly consider every little action before they perform it. And yes while they maintain a sexual relationship there is a level of dependency on one another but they are still able to maintain a level of independency. There’s none of this you must think about the other person before every little action you perform, they do what they themselves want because they respect each other.


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Friday, November 23, 2007

OH I GLASS HOUSE! lets throw some stones
I think my Friday night movie ritual has a lot to answer for when it comes to this blog. I rented ‘Reign Over Me’ last night, I actually have no idea why I just seen a poster for it the other day and I just felt like watching it. I was pretty surprised after watching this film how appropriate it was at the moment. All week I have been really annoyed about the way everyone around me seem to think that they know what is best and that they are adjusted enough to give everyone advice and expose them to the brutal truths of reality. But if they actually stepped back and took a proper look at themselves they would find that the people they are trying to reshape are no different from themselves.

A friend of mine had a fight with her father she called him weak and said that he needed to take more action or people would walk all over him, in disgust she said to me ‘damn why can’t he be more like me, I mean I never let people tell me what to do. I always let people know how I feel about them.’ It took me all my time not to burst out laughing at her, this is the same person who is practically a lap dog, she works double loads, and will work through illness because she to afraid to say no to her boss or ask for time off, she even gave up a new career because her best friend said she couldn’t miss her wedding. But as funny as it is, it’s infuriating at the same time. I mean what right did she have to say such things when she is no different to that person.
It was just like this film Johnson believes that Charlie needs help that he needs to face his grief and personal issues otherwise he’ll never be happy. But even though Charlie doesn’t not express his grief is a so-called conventional way he still grieves in his own way. While Johnson himself can’t face anyone around him, he has no friends because he can’t tell his wife he needs space and his business partner’s walk all over him. Both characters are trapped but the difference being that Charlie has no desire to free himself or tell others how to live. And throughout the film everyone seems to try to push Charlie to be more like them, to do things the way they perceive as socially acceptable but in the end it nearly gets him institutionalised he can’t handle things the way other people can, he is different. It doesn’t mean that he is any less or a perceived human.
But it really got me thinking are these people nieve or just ignorant. Is it that people like this recognise that they aren’t able to stand up for themselves and take their own self loathing out on people that reminds them of themselves or is it that they truly think they are stronger and push weaker people around to achieve a sense of power that is normally unachievable for them in society? I get it that people fear what they don’t understand and they try to change it to fit something they see as more acceptable but why does that have to apply to human personality? Why can’t people just be left to deal with their own issues, in their own way, over their own time, if that’s what they truly want?

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Legendary host club
Obviously Cowboy Bebop is my favourite anime and I’ve always compared all my other series to that. Basically I’m always raving on about how this is the only series that has the best combination of story line, music and animation. There are very few series that have been able to live up to these standards and the GITS SAC series and Wolf’s Rain have been my sorta second favourite series for a while now. But recently I watched Ouran High School Host Club, which has now become my absolute second favourite series I absolutely love it. Honestly at first glance when compared with cowboy bebop the animation is pretty simplistic at times, the story line is nothing new for its genre and there really isn’t much of a soundtrack.
But if you get over the initial impact the animation has a cute smoothness to it the characters when drawn properly all have a traditional style about them, which is most evident with Haruhi who has the old anime style bambi eyes that represent the purity and innocence of being a female (there’s a really funny scene were this is actually mentioned). And the male characters while obvious bishonens still maintain a level of masculinity so they’re not easily mistaken for females like a lot of shojo male characters are these days.
The story line has a familiar line to it and its very much like Fruits Basket in the way that you have the single female figure that has obvious hardships, in a group of male character that all have their own emotional problems. Ouran takes a new road with this though, Haruhi is not the distinctly clutzy character, who helps everyone without thinking, while struggling with her own heartache and insecurities. She is intelligent and indifferent to her situation and doesn’t hold anything back when it comes to critising those around her (and no matter what the male characters do to her she never seems to get that nervous maiden blush and giggles), qualities that modern anime heroines seem to be lacking.
Throughout the entire anime you see the male character developing an obvious attachment to her but there is never really the hint of a romantic love affair developing from her (she does like Tamaki but it still doesn’t have that giggling, blushing insecurity attached to it). She just seems to take everything as it is on the surface. Honey and Mori can see the bond develop and suspect developments but in the anime Haruhi seems ignorant of any of these potential developments. I love that about this series it never tries to dramatise anything about love.

There’s another thing that I found really funny about this series and seems to be becoming popular in a lot of anime’s but it’s the way that they make fun of otaku’s and especially fan girls, the audience that their aiming for they are at the same time totally taking the p**s out of. But it doesn’t degrade its popularity at all. The otaku’s culture or as its referred to here in Australia sub-culture seems to one of only a few that can looks at itself and opening laugh and criticise. Even with the serious fandom it can still maintain a scenes humour and enjoyment.


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Tuesday, October 9, 2007

A Momo of my own
The is probably going to sound contradictory for anyone that has actually followed my blog especially after that huge bitch I did about sex controlling the world but it does actually make a level of sense. I’m a huge fan of Tramps Like Us *gasp* yeah its true I know that many people think that this series is perverted and about nothing but sex but obviously they haven’t read the manga either that or they are just so simple minded that the sex scenes and references are all they can focus on.

I really love that Sumire keeps Momo as a pet but that’s all he is to her and not in the perverted sense like Ai No Kusabi *double gasp* yeah I’ve watched that series as well. She cooks for him, washes his hair and hugs him to help her through all her anxieties. He really is like a dog to her even during his bath times there is nothing sexual between them. Momo constantly has a sexual desire towards her, which seems to keep a distance between them in the way that she doesn’t always know what he is thinking. Although with Sumire it’s the opposite she realises that she can’t live without Momo he is the only one that she shows who she truly is. She gets angry with him, cries, gets drunk and laughs in front of him all of which are things that she can’t do in front of anyone else including her boyfriend who at one point proposes to her. And Hasumi seems to have little desire to see any side of her so long as she is having sex with him.
Basically there is a bond between Momo and Sumire present because of that absence of sexual attraction between the two. Its like I’ve said sex rules everything she doesn’t want to ruin any of the expectations that Hasumi has so she pretends to be something else its like that with everyone. I recently started reading ‘are men necessary’ yeah my knowledge of and contempt for the dating world has reached new heights now. There were ‘The Rules’ mentioned many times basically this was another book published with a set of rules for women to follow in order to catch a man. Yes another degradation of the female mind by making us nothing but sex symbols who’s only mission in life was to be a step ford wife. Well threes really no need to say this but we all know I am the equal/opposite reaction to these rules (yes Newton’s laws can apply to sexuality as well). From what I’ve read of this book the author struck me as a real life version of Sumire she seemed intelligent enough but was absent of any independency when it came to relationships. Before each action in her relationships she weighed everything up and nearly sent herself insane attempting to act in a way that would please her partner rather then just doing what she wanted.
This totally bugged me why the hell should you have to contemplate every move in a relationship you should just be able to do something solely because you want to. And no that’s not a neive thought what’s neive is when people argue that if you love someone enough you’ll change for them. That is not love that is just Eros sure there are exceptions. But basically most relationships are developed from one seeking out the other due to desire, they have fantasies about the other person and if they don’t live up to their expectations then they just move on, easy come – easy go. Like what really bugged me was when women judged men at dinners, the man’s value was determined by whether he picked up the check or not. What type of judgement is that? You don’t just drop someone because of that. That sort of thing wouldn’t phase me because personally I would rather sit up and watch a movie with my dog then some guy that’s going to judge my value from every move I make because honestly I’m not going to play the sex symbol for anyone and have no expectations of anyone around me. I just want a Momo of my own a dog that can talk back.

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Sunday, October 7, 2007

Justified Chaos
I finished reading the Death Note manga the other day damn I was disappointed, I’ve always argued the in depth phycology of this series saying that most of its readers have attempted to simplify the morals of the series. I don’t know what Ohba’s intentions for this series were and I’ve never read any of his previous series but I thought I had an understanding as too how this might end and I guess I even admired him throughout reading this series. He was like Ryuji in Ring 2 the ultimate individual rebelling against society. He was constantly blurring the lines he never painted Light/ Kira as purely good or evil he kept his audiences constantly arguing about the justification of the murders. The whole atmosphere was so controversial and even including the discussion of after life. He dismisses the idea of life after death, there is no heaven or hell there is nothing whether a person uses the death note or not. He is removing the concept of religion from Lights character, which enhances the idea of him being a god. He does not refer to himself as a greater being as such but rather as someone that can protect the innocence. And throughout the series he is painted as a genius in the way that he can calculate each situation but at the same time he is still human he does panic in situations. If he had not killed the FBI agents then he would not have been contained by L. This proves what I’ve said before about humans just being animals, he felt threatened and panic killing the FBI agents was an instinct to ensure his freedom.

But then after what seems to be an effort to rebel against socially acceptable beliefs he end the series in a way that is so damn carbon copy it isn’t funny. He takes all the blurred lines and condenses it all into the single black and white of good versus evil. All of Kira’s most devoted followers reject him they no longer consider him as a god. Near attempts to bring him to justice and states that he was evil, even though through Kira’s rule crimes have decreased by 70 % the world is much safer he has almost created a world in which the weak can live and survive, he has eliminated survival of the fittest. But then its all lost he dies in absolute fear, our last impressions of him are pathetic and weak like he was never really meant to be a god but just another pathetic human attempting to achieve power and immortality. The world returns to the crimes that control the weak and it again becomes a matter of survival of the fittest. But even Matsuda raises the point that was it all for the best? The only way he’s comrades can justify that it is that if Light was not killed they would have been.
Ahh I totally hated this ending I mean these characters were so afraid of losing their own lives that they would rather have the world ruled by chaos. After all his efforts to rebel he gave in right at the end with a socially acceptable finale.

But the more I think it I guess the more I think that maybe I’m just simplifying the ending in a way that many readers simplified the morals. Yes this ending is socially acceptable but at the same time it’s a reflection on human behaviour. Was Kira really thinking about creating a utopia where survival of the fittest didn’t apply to humans or did he just want to be a god like the megalomaniacs throughout history?
Then there is again the idea raised that people will do anything to ensure their own survival the detectives justify the world falling back into a crime riddled chaos through keeping their own lives. They are selfish but that is just the way humans are and always will be, that is our ‘destiny’ and no one can change that.

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Thursday, July 26, 2007

   Its all about context
For years now I’ve been watching a movie review program that’s host by two movie critics David and Margaret that are renowned it’s pretty much my favourite program in my sad existence. Last week David pointed something out that I found pretty interesting earlier I think a couple of weeks earlier they had reviewed a European film I think it was German, but the film was based within the 2nd world war and Margaret had described the sexual content of the film as being all about ‘tits.’ Although when reviewing a recent English film called ‘cash back’ which follows a 15 year old boy working in a convenient store and he freezes time and things, being a 15 year old boys mind there is obviously much sexual content which David referred to as being almost Soft core pornography but Margaret said that with the context it was only expected, which surprised David. And it got me thinking this is a women who fought to have Kent Park a film that was banned in Australia to be played and even organised the under ground screening that was broken up by police. She justifies everything according to context. Is it really so simple as to judge sexual content according to the context? Its natural for the mind of a 15-year-old boy but not for a war film? And a film that is apparently so graphic that it has to be banned should still be left up to public choice?
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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

   WARNING ORGINAL THOUGHTS CAN CAUSE CREATIVITY
For ages people were bugging me to see ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ and after my experience with ‘Silent Hill’ I was reluctant. But I was feeling down over everything that has happened and decided to rent a non-thinking film for my Friday night ritual. ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ came to mind and I thought what the hell my week couldn’t possibly get any worse. Damn I couldn’t believe it after I watched this film they took the superficial comedy of a beauty pageant theme mixed it with the prehistoric adventures of a road trip and used original thinking to create a film that is more then worthy of its critically acclaimed status. Ok so we’ve all seen misfit old people trying to recapture their youth but I have never even caught a glimpse of someone like the grandfather in this film, he does drugs and doesn’t try to justify it, tells his grandson to **** a lot of women and teachers his granddaughter a strip tease as her talent for the pageant OMG I’m loved it. Then you have the uncle just when you think all hope is lost that Greg Kinear could ever truly act you have that part. It was realistic to a degree that allowed for entertainment without glorifying anything OMG A REVOLUTION. I swear to god this film restored my faith in the film industry, after this I keeping thinking ok surely there is going to be another film as brilliant as this soon.

Sitting through one worthless film after another I came to the conclusion that with the exception of ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ and some other films the west must be afraid of having original thoughts. Because it would seem that unless the film is taken from a pre-existing success eg theme park ride (Pirates of the Caribbean), a comic (Spider Man) (oh and these films although hugely entertaining don’t come close to being compared with LMSS) then the writers can not create an entertaining piece that contains any originality. It’s like every film that is coming out these days is just carbon copy rubbish that makes absolutely no damn sense. Take ‘Friends With Money’ what the hell was the point of that film? I laughed a few times but seriously it’s less then memorable. It’s like people are just churning out films for the sake of it. It seems like it’s more important to be remembered for the quantity of films rather then the quality, which is understandable look at Edwood he was deemed the worst director in history and he had a film made about him. But WHY? WHY? Can’t these people take their supposed talents to create something that is original entertainment?

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Saturday, May 5, 2007

Meet me at the river Styx
The more I see of people the more I love my dog, damn I could never find a more appropriate quote for myself then that. It’s blatantly obvious that I hold a higher respect for animals then I do for most of my fellow humans. I have or rather had 10 dogs, which explains my territorial behaviour and my absolutely bitching attitude. People are always saying their dogs are human which I would normally find insulting but if there’s one thing I’ve discovered it’s that the hierarchy of sexes still applies. Owning mostly working dogs I thought the entire thing was just a farmers joke because I was a young girl, damn was I wrong. At first I couldn’t control any of my male dogs but my dad could, it would drive me insane so one day I had enough and decided to try a strategy I had seen my dogs use on each other to establish dominance. I must have looked insane at the time growling, but afterwards I had established dominance and become the Alfa of our pack, well sort of. I had this particular pup at one time that absolutely hated me, I mean this dog couldn’t stand me, it was bad enough that absolutely no one could control her but at times when we would have challenges of dominance I always lost and ended up nursing wounds and I had to hide from my family. I defended her countless times, even when her breeder offered to take her back. Ironic really I’ll defend a dog that hates me until the bitter end but I’d easily give up on most humans.

After countless fights there was an incident that involved a lot more pain and blood then usual, I was really upset mostly because of the pain, and for some reason she tried to comfort me for the first time ever. Its sounds cliché but after that she actually started to like me we didn’t fight anymore and she become another one of my closest dogs. After about 5 years she became suddenly sick the vets couldn’t figure out what was officially wrong but after some surgery they assumed that things would get better. But they still warned me that she would be lucky to make it past 8, over the next 3 years I swear to god that dog has given me more near heart attacks then all my other dogs, turning up on a main road, escaping her yard and wandering around the paddocks at night, oh and my favourite finding her playing tug-a-war with two other dogs with a brown snake they had just killed. They say when someone dies you tend to romanticise their life but damn without Judy I don’t think my life would have been nearly as exciting, she was the first and so far the only dog to truly hate me, not to mention the fact that she is probably the only top pedigree bred working dog to never do a honest days work in her whole life, what could possibly be more fun then that.

Last year she turned 8 and I remember that night all I could think about was this is it so much longer, well it wasn’t nearly as long as I had hoped she died of a secondary infection resulting from undetected lung cancer, a bit over a week ago.


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