Wednesday, December 13, 2006

   pizza
Time of Post: 2.03 pm
State of Mind: Calm

i had pizza today as shadow and i skipped part of our history class...xD...oh and today i'll post a story from my friend jessy:

Shattered Glass

I feel numb, where am I? Who are you? What have I done? I do not remember much of anything anymore. It is not that I do not remember, at least I do not think so. As hard as I try, I can not seem to trigger my memories. I want to know who I am, but at the same time, I am content with this hollow life. A life with no meaning, I could die right now and it would not change anything. My home is a blank, cushioned room. I think I am pretty fortunate. I have a nice snug coat and a lot of visitors. Although sometimes I wonder how I even know that many people, but then I just settle for the excuse that I knew them before I lost my mind. Or at least that is what my friends always whisper to each other. I hear locks and noises outside my room, I see my friends walk in. There is someone with them that I do not recognize. He looks around the room and then at me. I gaze at him in wonderment, my hazel eyes boring holes into his mind. He nods at the others in the room and they leave. He walks over to me and pats me on the head. “Have you been a good girl?” I nod politely. I was not usually shy, but something about this man struck me as a fake. He sat down on one of the three pronged chairs and pulled out a notebook. “So how have you been?” I looked at him oddly and scrunched up my nose. “You are nosey.” His face went blank and then he burst out laughing. “Well you see Evana it is just…” My eyes widen and I tugged on my sleeves, they were caught behind me again. “Who is Evana?” I interrupted. He looked at me puzzled and when he realized I really did not know he said, “You are, that is your name.” I looked down trying to comprehend what he had said. “E..vahn..uh.” I pronounced.
He began asking me many weird questions like: If I remembered anything before I came to live at the institution or if I wanted to leave. I tried to answer all his questions. I told him that I did not have to leave, because I went on vacations all the time. I have been to England, Brazil, and event the moon. He looked at me like they did when I first opened my eyes in the white room. He looked scared and confused at the same time, but what I said was true. I like to go places, but I never know when I am going. I explained that I never left the room to go on my “trips.” I simply waited for the train to come and get me. “Do you remember the name of the train?” he asked, making that weird finger motion when he said train. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to scrounge together an answer that would make sense to this man. “Crazy Train” I beamed at him, so proud at my answer. He stood up and pressed a button on the wall, calling my friends again. A man came in, I think they called him Dok tar, but I was not sure. I waved at him excitedly and said, “Hey, Mr. Dok tar.” He looked up from his conversation and slightly smiled at me. He was afraid, I could tell.
When he walked in the room and saw Evana his heart stopped, again. He does not know why it is that she troubles him that much. He has been her doctor for a couple of years now and yet she still sends shivers down his spine. He walked over to Officer Langling. He asked him about a couple of things she had said and he tried to translate as best he could. “The trips she is referring to have to do with her Psychosis.” The officer looks at him in awe. He understood now, they all did and yet in his mind he knew that they would never truly understand her situation. She has always looked sad, of course he did not know one person that would looked happy to be lost in confusion. She has often been referred as shattered glass in a hall of mirrors, but it is not her fault. She was attacked by her father when she was little, silly girl, she didn’t realize how bad it was to spill coffee on the counter. Yes, he was telling the truth although he left out the facts about her father. He was a raging alcoholic to a certain extent. He had many violent tendencies and anger problems that he took out on this girl, but the good thing was she does not have to remember any of it. If she starts to, he will make her forget. He will make her forget them all.


so what do u guys think about? i loved it ^^

Random Thought From the Cellie:

"oyg! i'm not frilly! thank god!" -.-;

have a good day

~Cellie

"I stand alone, everything that I believe in is fading."

~Godsmack

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