Wednesday, November 3, 2004

The concert went very well, but it was very tiring.
And the teacher let us do our homework we didn't do last night because we were listening to absolutely amazing oboe trios and people bragging about how the new hall cost 33 million and someone donated a 95 thousand dollar grand piano plus 2 uprights to the hall and school.

My school is dirt poor. We really are. Plus, we're doing construction, as we're an overcrowded dirt poor school. Okay, compared to a lot of schools, we're not too bad. But in Massachusetts, things are costly and there are a lot of wealthy towns we deal with, because, as one of the top bands in the country, we wind up at the same places as the bands that have the money to really do everything necessary to succeed. We have to compromise, but that's what happens. We deal, and we're great.

But ... the Riverdance week continues. I'm gonna call my friend in MN tomorrow. I really am. Right after Gilmore Girls.

While my friend ... "J" has the Issue of the Week, "E" complexes at me, "H" is in MN, and "N" blows me off, I'm having a Riverdance week, and no one really knows this.

Well, tech may not interfere with band, but when there are only two women who teach bassoon within an hour of my house, I really can't be selective. My teacher rocks, but lessons interfere with tech. I need to work that out with my history teacher/drama and tech director.

Did I mention the man's a ... jerk?

But at least he gets that band is a graded class, making it just as important as any other. True, band is my no-stress class, but I do still like to do well there, and conflicts arise, but since there is so little written homework, people don't understand that the commitments of band are doubly important to make. Which is why he let us do our homework, because he knows people don't get this.

No-stress is what band is for me. You join band if you like music, and chorus later. Well, yes, I sing better than I play. But I'm not serious about music. It's a way for me to destress. However, as great a friend as "E" is, she doesn't understand that some people really do consider band a fun, stress-reliever. For her, life is about becoming a flute master. I'm not serious about music that way, and she doesn't get that. She really gets on my case about practicing too, but interestingly enough, she has no ideas what parts I'm playing until I tell her, suggesting she actually pays no attention. She just assumes I can't hold my own. I can, though, and I know I can, but it still drives me nuts! Especially since she doesn't understand how hard it is to make sinificant dynamic changes on a double reed instrument.

"J" and I were talking on the phone. I commented on how we need a creative writing club or a literary magazine, in addition to our poetry magazine. Well, she went to a teacher, and guess whose name she used and is now supposed to sacrifice her one free day to lead up a writing club? Ain't I lucky?

And apparently, I'm the only person I know who likes polkas. Really.

Then again, I also like banjos, accordians, concertinas, fiddles, and bagpipes. I do not, however, care for harmonicas.

Though I may be over polkas by the end of my Riverdance week.
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Monday, November 1, 2004

"Can I borrow your CD player? I need a Riverdance fix."
Oh, the things band kids tell you. Though frankly, I needed a Riverdance fix too.

Yes indeed, it's gonna be a Riverdance week. That means, to combat my current anger and somewhat sadistic feelings about people so I can talk to them without either crying of screaming, I need to spend about a week listening to real, ######## Celtic music and living "Caoineadh Cu Chulainn (Lament)" and "Over the Sea to Skye."

I'm working on this, as is evidenced by the fact I just sat through all of O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? for the music.

Man, tomorrow, we're playing a few towns over for the opening of their new hall, and I really sucked today.

Okay guys! LOOK FOR IT! In the music video for "Nobody's Home," in one the scenes where Lavigne is dressed like the old-time singer with the ensemble behind her, they do a close up of a guy playing bassoon!

You know, we were talking in history today, and the teacher was talking about blogging, because a girl that some kids at school know is now on the no-fly list for posting against Bush. Nothing threatening, but not for him. I have to say, I was surprised. I mean, I know most of that class blogs. The teacher blogs too, for goodness's sake! I just thought that was odd.

Well, ... I guess I'll refrain from commenting on how I feel that Kerry is the better of the two ...

Anyway, one of the things we were talking about a lot in that class was the gay marriage issue. And you know what? I'm surprized that so many people don't know how to talk about it. True, I like in very liberal Massachusetts, where we allow it and all, and my school has a pretty decent population of gay people, so maybe I'm just a little more exposed, but I can't believe the way some people talk. You can't say people are evil and all for being gay for two big reasons: 1) These are people. You simply cannot label people who are gay as evil. It makes it a very personal and touchy issue, and the second problem I have with that is this. 2) It's a very religion-based statement. Sorry, but to determine "evil" is a religion-based statement to begin with, and to label gays as evil is even more religion-based.

Religion in politics gets to me anyway. What's worse is when the teacher generalized conservatives as "Christian." The conservative view is not Christian, or it ought not be, but the Christian view often aligns with the conservative view. Yes, I am Catholic, yes, I heard once a week for so long that we have to vote against gay marriage, yes, I hear once a week now that we must vote against abortion, but still, that does not mean that because I am Christian, I agree.

But on abortion: I don't know what to think, because frankly, the idea seemed okay to me in many cases until I read SHE'S COME UNDONE. After that, the idea began to disturb me quite a bit. All I have to say on that is, it's one thing when it's, "Daddy? I kinda made a mistake last month ... can I have some cash?" It's another when some girl's been raped, abused, or can't support a child to begin with.

Honestly? I think the war should be less of an issue right now. We started it, whether or not we ought to have, and it has to be finished, but it's going to be a mess regardless of what is done. The thing that's going to matter later is abortion, gay rights, civil rights, and whatever our economy thinks it's up to.
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Sunday, October 31, 2004

Charming. Just charming.
One of my oldest and closest friend's away message explains just about all I really need to hear tonight. It says she's out trick-or-treating with another very old, closer friend.

I would just like to note, that there are two things I have never been invited to do that all the other girls from this old gang of mine have been invited to do. One is go to the Mormon dances. I don't like dances, I don't care for them. But I mean, I usually at least get asked if I'm going to dances, but these Mormon dances, the ones that most of the kids I hang out with get invited to because I hang out with a lot of girls who are common friends with a few Mormon girls, and they all get invited to these dances, which are said to be a lot of fun, and the kids there are really nice. The part that stings most is that one of those Mormon girls is one of my close, old friends from the old group we were in elementary and middle school. I mean, maybe I wouldn't have gone, but I mean, I never even got invited to these, and they talk about them right in front of me. "You'd have liked it." Well, maybe, but you never told me!

And this is totally irrational, especially from someone like me, but it really hurts not to get invited to these. I mean, it's such a classic thing for girls to get worked up about on TV, but that's one of the few things that actually does really hurt, even for the dorky girls, because no one likes to be rejected. Stepping out is one thing, but being excluded is different.

I mean, do they think I'm such a dork I don't have a dress? That I couldn't figure out how to behave? That I'd stand there and stare at the wall all night? Not that Mormon dances run very late at night ...

The other is trick-or-treating. The one year I almost got invited, one of the girls got hit int he fact with a hockey puck and got some teeth knocked out. So we didn't go.

But the thing is, half the time, I think I should just forget the girl whose away message got to me. She's so inconsistent, and as another girl put it to me the other day, "Did you know she's claustrophobic?" So I said, "No, does this go along with being vegetarian?" And she said, "Oh, no, it's not the whole impress people one. This is the, 'Oh, your table's very crowded, I'm so claustrophobic, I'm sitting with my Cool Friend today!'" She's very smart, except for not thinking I wouldn't be a little hurt that everyone discussed the fun they had at the Mormon dance they went to with her that she neglected to invite me to in front of me the next day.

God, I hate my friends. I think I'm gonna bum around with the only person I really want to be with right now for about a week. She's the greatest person I know, and I wish we'd made friends earlier. We're really alike, and even though we don't always know how to react to eachother, I know she always makes me feel better, and I think I make her feel better too.

Maybe I'll talk to my super-closest friend who moved to MN tomorrow afternoon. She's even more to me than the aforementioned girl. Except that I never see her, and I don't even know if she just humors our phone calls, since she never makes them, just takes them.

I could really use a good cry.



List of TV I've watched since yesterday:

Gilmore Girls (3 hours)

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide (.5 hour)

Even Stevens (.75 hour)

Lizzie McGuire (.25 hour)

Sabrina the Teenage Witch (2 hours)

The True Story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1 hour, I'd like to subtitle this show, "A Short Summary of the Lives of Robert Louis Stevenson and William Brodie: What Not to Get Addicted to: Opium, Crime, Opium, Sex, Opium, Gambling, Opium, Morphine, Opium, Tobacco, Opium, Booze, and Opium.")

Yuyu Hakusho (1.5 hours)

Rurouni Kenshin (.5 hours)

Rave Masters: (.15 hours)

Megas XLR (.15 hours)

Emeril Live! (1 hour)

The Haunted History of Halloween (1 hour)

NCIS (.75 hour)

Witch Hunt (1 hour)

Incredible but True? (.5 hour)

Animatrix (.15 hour)

Ghost in the Shell (.15 hour)



How sad is that?
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Friday, October 29, 2004

Highly Recommended Reading: Gregory Maguire's WICKED: THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST
After 167 episodes, the anime producers have learned what Rumiko Takahashi did not: Inuyasha needed an ending, not a never ending journey that will last until the marketing value is no more.

Do not spend an hour and a half on a dusty stage, pop in contacts, and think that you will be able to see in a poorly lit living room well enough to distinguish a D from a B.

Today was a phenominal day for stupid subs.

In math, the useless lump sub did nothing, the teacher was too stupid to give us a lesson we'd gone over. So, many people were lost. I mean, I have no trouble following models, but it was tough stuff. So, Mike, a classmate, taught. And he was better than the teacher, honest to God.

In bio, we were supposed to have an Oldies Day. On Oldied Day, you get in little groups and do some worksheets while Oldies 103.3 plays in the background. You fill in blanks and sing along to "Brown-eyed Girl" and "Penny Lane." It's wonderful!

Today, the teacher was out, so the student teacher got 103.3 going and let us work. Then, about five minutes later, in the middle of "Mrs. Robinson," Josh turned it to a rap station. So Larissa or a cronie of hers whined till he changed it to a country station. So, the sub was not paying attention and the student teacher was glad to not have to be the bad guy and say, "Oh, no rap - the station's got questionable lyrics."

For the love of God, that was SIMON AND GARFUNKEL!

So I yelled, "Hey, Josh, put it back on 103.3!" So Josh ignored me, as I do not have layered hair, a short skirt, and a bubbly giggle.

SIMON AND GARFUNKEL! I mean, if it were "I Am a Rock," I might have understood. But "Mrs. Robinson?" That is so quality! The only Simon and Garfunkel that's better than "Mrs. Robinson" is "The Sound of Silence!" Good for Josh is wasn't that song.

On the way to my lesson, Daddy usually listens to sports talk shows. However, he turned on the radio, and whay was it, but "Mrs. Robinson"! So the station stayed there. Several absolutely phenom motown tunes and some other great sixties stuff followed, which was even better.

And as we pulled onto the studio's street, "Black Magic Woman" came on. And the only reason we did not sit in the car another four minutes was that we pay for lessons. But if Josh had turned it during Santana, oh, that would top changing the station from Simon and Garfunkel. The station would have gone right back.

I know, I know. You're thinking, "Sure, he may be too stupid to like Simon and Garfunkel, but WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CHANGE THE RADIO STATION FROM 'BLACK MAGIC WOMAN'?"

However, you do not know Josh. Beyond not appreciating Santana, he would probably not recognize his style in a second. I mean, I'll give that some people's taste may not include Santana, but you have to be Josh not to get it.

I have a friend who says she's going to be a Latin guitarist when she grows up. I've told her that she's got a very European bone structure and that she's rather blonde to fit the image well enough to succeed as such, but she insists that plastic surgery can fix that. I don't know ...

And so, I stop ranting for the night, as tomorrow, I will work then babysit. Oh joy.
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Thursday, October 28, 2004

"I don't know how you could have missed it, but in case you did ... the Sox won the Series!" -moose, the morning announcements
That is sooooo freaky. I half expected them to just fall to pieces in true Sox fashion last night. But wow ...

I need to go watch Star Wars. Too bad I can't, since it's a little late and the game (though I admit, I didn't watch the whole thing) sucks the life out of you.
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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

THIS IS REALLY BUGGING ME.
People don't philosophize anymore. Really, I mean, there were philosophers up until the Industrial Revolution, then during it, there were scientific, economic, and political minds hard at work, but what now? No one questions, no one thinks. I think part of that is that no one takes religion seriously anymore, but that can't be the whole reason. Religion is a huge source of philosophical material, so while the loss of a serious view about religion is hurting philosophy, I still don't get it because of this: a lot of philosophical ideas come about during times of political disaster. Think about it. Major religions, revolutions, political reforms ... And the world's in quite a state now, yet no one does anything. I'm concerned that people don't think enough today, and I'm 16! I have a theory that today's philosophers are hiding themselves because they don't want to stick out as brilliant and contreversial minds, though. I think they exist in many works of fiction, in some films, quietly slipping something into our lives, but if you want to actively debate today, you can't just have a philosophical discussion. You debate issues, politics, and while that's good, it's not the same. The closest I've ever been to a philosophical discussion was book club, and unless you take ethics, there's no where to get it in school, since no one bothers to teach English the way they should.

It worries me a lot. People say that civilization is crumbling for various reasons? I think this is the biggest one. Yes, philosophy happens, but not on the level it once did. And that's troubling.
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"Nancy's not here today ... We don't know what to do ..." Good thing the boss isn't usually out ...
Right, so ... yesterday, I had an early mental crash and bleed out. I was actually online for a few minutes, but then I realized that I was pretty much going to pass out from exhaustion, and the fact that I needed ot take out my contacts was all that was keeping me conscious. I like being busy, and I like being awake during the day because of it, but really, it's exhausting.

So ... yesterday, my friend and I did our tuning charts. I am consistently 15 cents sharp, except when I am worse.

Right now, the Sox are quite possibly making history. YAY! But what are we going to do without the curse?
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Monday, October 25, 2004

That there is my own, very special rendering of my favorite part of "Vesuvius." And yes, when I sing it, it is just as loud and tunless as you may be getting the impression it is just by reading that.
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BUP BUP BUP BUP BUP BADUP BAH! badabudah!
Yep! A personal triumph! Contacts in in under nine minutes, on for five hours with no problems!

And lots of band, considering I don't march! Yep! SECTIONALS TODAY!

God, I'm tired.
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Sunday, October 24, 2004

Nomar was cramping our style anyway.
So ... I was at church more today than I usually am in two weeks.

Yep. Sunday mass, homework, rosary beading session for service project at church, anime (They can bring back Rurouni Kenshin, or they can show new Inuyasha, but not both? *sob*), and CCD. A fun day overall.

Yes, and it only took me 20 minutes to get my contacts in! Aren't you imensely proud of me?

Sorry, I need to watch the game ... this year, the Sox are gonna win. But what will we do once we break the curse? I mean, who will we blame, what will our legacy be? The only reason the Cubs haven't dragged in a goat and broken their curse is that it adds color! I mean, we're infamous for getting excited and then crashing down. What will we be without a curse?
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