Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Thanks for the hugs, patience, and the sentiment that went with the drugs ... (I should have mentioned that I had a railroad spike headache, not a random need for acetaminophen ...)

Yesterday might have been a lot nicer if I could have gotten a hug from a girlfriend of mine that morning, but she was absent because she had surgery in a rather embarassing place this weekend and wasn't up to sitting through class. She was back today, and she's always so nice to talk to. It always makes me feel better.

But I digress.

On multiple occassions, acquaintances have expressed the notion that I would make a good psychologist. I have no idea where this idea comes from. Yes, I am one of those lucky people on whom others like to unburden themselves, but I think this is because I have a tendency to hang around on the corners of people's lives, not because I am wonderful to talk to. I was reading an article about being desensitized by the media, and I think I have the bystander syndrome (the one where, rather than thinking people are out to get you or that you have to get people, that all the violence makes you pretty apathetic), which makes it even weirder. Unless my apathy comes off as unwillingness to judge. I don't get it! People come to me with stuff, but I never help them, I just come up with really good ideas not to do. And the one time I was right ("WHY are you going out with him??? DUMP HIM!"), I was ignored. (The relationship ended int eh guy dumping her online, but she thought it wa a fitting end to the whole thing and was overjoyed, and we all laughed heartily at this poor idiot.)

I mean, I think psychology is intersting, but I never think of the same motives as other people. When people reach a consensus in English or history as to motives, I almost never agree with them. I'm always the person with a slightly different idea. I could ruin a patient's life with that! And who wants to go to school long enough for that??? I wanna be an actuary!

Not that any of these people can tell me what to do with my life, but it kinda scares me that while other people have an impression, when people ask me what I want to do when I get out of school, I say, "Math," and seriously have no clue beyond that. Also, because of band, I can't take both an extra math and a psychology course while my education is free to see which one I like if I want to do chorus. (And I do, because music is my outlet and I get stressed out ...)

I dunno. I never would have even thought of psychology if people I'm only an acquaintance with didn't keep telling me they think I could be one.

Too bad I hate listening to people's problems and being expected to have answers. But then, if the psychologist magically knew answers, what's the point?

I should really find out how shrinks work.
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