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Birthday
• 1990-08-27
Gender
• Female
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• Under your bed :D
Member Since
• 2007-03-16
Occupation
• Power Ranger
Real Name
• Nakita

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• None. Haha.
Anime Fan Since
• 10
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• FLCL, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Chobits, Outlaw Star, ...um..Alot!
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• To become a wonderful Artist one day
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• Drawing, Singing, Daydreaming, Metitating.
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• Drawing ... :D




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myOtaku.com: Chaokitty


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

*sigh*
I won't really get into detail... but...

I need to get this out. Whether anyone reads this or not, it is their decision, but I need to write this as many times as it takes to help me...

Jaicob. The boy I fell in Love with 7 months ago. Dumped me five days ago. Claimed to fall out of love.

I didn't even know it was possible.

And it was all so sudden.

I can't beleive it. I feel like I'm in denial... but..it really happened. And I'm hating every aching, lonely moment of life right now...

Hating it more and more every night.
And every night I can't help but cry....

I was always one to be terrified of the dark. Anyone who knew me, knew that. Always scared...

But now...the dark comforts me... Holds me close like no one else will...

I walk into my bedroom, without even turning on the light, or T.v., my puppy jumps onto my bed before me, and I turn on my iPod, put it on the speaker...and listen to whatever's on. Some of the songs I can't, though...brings back memories...

If I'm too tired to draw...which I try to, I try to do anything to distract myself, I just lay down...

I try to go to sleep, but I literally watch hour after hour go by on my clock...11:30...12:15...12:43...1:23...2:31...3:17...

I lay on my back, which, since I last got paralyzed constantly from doing so, I never did...

But I didn't care...I really don't. I'd rather stay like that, in my dreams, short of breath, than live like this. ..

I stare up at my ceiling, raising my hand up, twisting it this way and that... my mind is getting the better of me. I see my hand like an echoe, like it's trailing itself in the air above...

I really should turn the TV on... I tell myself that...

No, There's nothing worth watching. I'll just waste my flesh in front of TV.

I lay there, in the dark, crying...wishing...hoping....wanting to wake up from this terrible nightmare...

I've lost my love...I've lost myself.

I don't think I'll be getting either back. . .
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