Monday, November 7, 2005

   When Chibis Attack! Part 19
Dusty old chapters are stored over here


In Which There is Appreciation

Oh, hell. Am I conscious again? I feel conscious. Why does that keep happening? No matter how hard I try, how much I drink, I keep waking up.

That freakish dream is still hanging on in my head, making me check my hair for an impossible occupant prior to sitting. Ha ha, I'm going to tell the shrink about that one.

No, wait...

Maybe not. I'm just not ready for a padded cell yet.

Still on that topic, I can't help thinking I forgot something this morning. Or did I dream that I forgot something, since it's now well into the afternoon? Either way, I don't remember what I forgot.

Isn't that how it always is, though?



It's a little cool in here. Sweater for now, check the furnace for... whenever.

What day is it, anyway?

Calendar's in the kitchen, which is, incidentally, a good place to go, as that's where I keep my r...






Oh... hell.



Two cards. On the hallway floor.



On the left, a careful and intricate work of pasta and sparkle genius. Any six year old would be proud of it. Even sent away to Genius School because of it. Individual fragments of pasta have been colored and arranged to form a mosaic of 'Dear Mummy,' on a soft background of pastel-stained cotton wool. Sparkles coruscate outward from the cotton, as if the sparkly sun were peeping out from behind a delicate cloud. A cloud that proclaims 'Dear Mummy,' to all the earth.

On the right, a... sculpture?

If a maddened cow had eaten Seigfried and Roy, it might have passed something like this.




I need a drink.




Squat to see if the cards are stuck to the floor. Glance around: No one. Nevertheless, carefully lift one card in each hand at precisely the same time.

"D' you like it? Huh? Huh? I named it Mount Sparkle!"

"Do you wike it?"

Flop down against the wall, brief grasp on reality snapped like a twig.



Set each card by its respective chibi, each one now immersed in explaining the features of his respective card. Nod appreciatively, offer non-specific commendation, accept my fate. Push the side of Mt. Sparkle when instructed, causing more sparkles to fountain out of the top. Open Kougaiji's card, admiring the lovely still life of a fruit bowl within, and the little poem about apples.

Prepare non-partisan speech. Recite.

"You've both done such a lovely job. I'm sorry I was upset earlier." I was just too sober, I would like to say, but the card-accepting process is a delicate one. The last thing I need is more chibi-tear flooding due to under-appreciation of crafts. I doubt I have enough absorbent materials left.



"It's okay! All better?" Kougaiji adorably attempts to check me over, possibly for infestation, possibly for hidden candy.

"Yes. Yes, I am." I lie the lie. Though, strangely enough, I do feel... different. Perhaps it's the paint fumes.

Perhaps happiness is not unlike being a little high.





"Oh, that's nothing anyway. You should see Sanzo when he's cranky." Goku pauses in thought, idly tapping Mt. Sparkle, causing the sparkle flow to obliterate a pasta village on its slope. "Actually, Sanzo's always cranky. I mean when he's cranky - er. You know, shootin'-stuff cranky. You're way better that Sanzo when he's seriously trying to kill us all."

My mind races through the tangle of diction, attempts to decipher the possible meanings, and throws cogitative hands in the air.

"Uh... thanks." I think... maybe.

"No problem."

"Hugs!" Kougaiji is a chibi of few words. It's a quality to be admired in princes, who sometimes let the standing-on-high-things pre-battle speech get a little long. The little guy finally knows what he wants, I guess.



What? Was that character development? That's just wrong. Leave the character development to the people whose lives have plot, that's what I say. I'll just stick to... uh...



What the hell... I have two arms, which allows for inarguably equal hugs,





My mind wanders to 'equal' places that might display the cards. Finding a clutter-free space here is like finding a house in Tokyo: even if it's possible, it's going to cost you. So, move my grandmother's picture, or stop using the stove?

"Awww... isn't that cute!" Hakkai has found a camera and thoroughly blinds everyone with the flash.



Do chibis even show up in photos?

Never mind. I'm sure they're terribly photogenic.



"Damn! I totally should have made a card..." Gojyo, hug-deprived again, kicks the ground and jams his hands into his pockets.




Sigh.




"Well, Gojyo... I guess I could fit you..."

Trying to de-hug Goku and Kougaiji is proving difficult, even beyond the Lil' Prince's general staticky-sock clinginess.

"Hey... why are you guys all sticky?" Gojyo once again forgotten, I try to salvage my arms.




"Oh no!" I've learned that Hakkai saying 'Oh no!' is a general preface of doom. Life is just full of these little lessons. "I made them clean up the front room, but not..."

"Man, you're covered in glue!" Gojyo is helpfully yanking on Goku for all he's worth, to a refrain of 'Ow, my arm!' and other classics.

"Come on, Kougaiji, you need a bath!" Hakkai's efforts to dislodge Prince Chibi are being hindered by said chibi's refusal to let go.

"What the hell is all this noise?" Here comes Bed-Head Sanzo to save the day. Or not. Most likely not, from the sleep in his eyes and scowl on his face. "What have I told you about getting covered in stuff, you stupid monkey? Use your goddamn head!"

"Thwockitch!"




The Fan, its use inevitable, is now connected to Goku's head. Sanzo, desperate to free his beloved Fan, puts one foot on Goku for leverage... and stays there.

The mild complaints of the others are now joined by a harmony of blasphemous and pejorative cursing.

This is what I get for getting down to floor level.





"Kougaiji."

"Yes, Mummy?"

Shudder.




"You need a bath. Let go of me, and go with Hakkai."

"Okay..." He lets go... but remains attached, as per the Chibi Rules of Physical Comedy.

Resist the urge to shake arms violently, whack against the wall, scream, etc.

Use now partly-freed hands to pull my sweater off over my head.

"Hey, at least we get a show! Aw... she's wearing a shirt under it..."

"I would hit you if a could." Despite his hindrances, Sanzo still makes a valiant effort to pugilize Gojyo... rendering the two of them even more stuck.



Pick up sweater, chibis and all. Toss into the bathroom.

"You deal with it."

"Right! Won't be long." Calls out Hakkai's chipper voice, denying all appearances.

Close bathroom door.

I need to wash my hands. And change. And put these cards somewhere.

Ready, set, go! Dammit...

Feel free to make your own Team Sparkle shirts. You know I'm gonna.
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Wednesday, November 2, 2005

   I am not a drunk! Dammit!
Stop asking me if rum tastes good. You know it does! It has to, or I wouldn't drink so damn much of it!

Just kidding.

Actually, I don't drink. Unless I have a cold. Or I'm looking for chibi-inspiration. Or, you know...

I'm pretending to be a Turk.


Not that I do that often.

I certainly wouldn't try to convince my brother to shave his head, just so we could cosplay is Reno and Rude. That would be just loopy.

Heck, it's not like I don't wear that blue suit on other occasions.

Excuse me, I think I hear a bottle calling me...

=^@.@^=

Holy rusty metal, batman! It's true! CB made wallpaper that wasn't Saiyuki...

Can't... seem... to... stop!!!

More Reno.

Man, I'm craving Turkish Delight NOW...

And this little guy is so cute. Don't you just want to pat him on the head? Watch the spikes!

And uh... dear me, I need a new hobby. But you have to admit... it's plausible.
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Tuesday, November 1, 2005

   It gets me, sometimes,
it's like I'm being watched. By people who want to "make things happen" for me.

I drive a lot. I burn CDs of anime-game-crackpop mixes, for in car use. Takes me an hour to get to the nearest center of civilization, I need the help. The Pillows from FLCL, See-Saw from .Hack and Gundam Seed. Toshihiko Seki singing Shangri-la, because I am a loser. Something called "Hikari naki Yoru wo Yuke", from I Have No Idea What (dear lord don't let it be gay porn, I got it off a website, and my mother hums along with it when I drive her places...)

Anyway, you get the picture. I have a ritual.

Get in car, go to nice little gas station on corner before main highway. Buy a coffee, and turkish delight, available in chocolate bar format for easy eatin' while drivin' and not gettin' caught.

Stick CD of random selection into player. Get on highway. Drink coffee, eat Turkish Delight ("Full of Eastern Promise - Since 1866"), in the brand form Big Turk.


Yeah, then One Winged Angel starts playing on the stereo, as I drive along a desolate highway, eating a Big Turk.


I don't eat Turks! Honest!

=^..^=
Bald can be hot. So can Ronald McDonald Red. You just need the right attitude!
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

   Sleepy Kittens
A few more minutes of free computer time in the dead of night, and...

Sanzo is caught.

I recommend glue and sparkly things. Gets him every time.
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   Heeeeeere's Gojyo!
While I was talking about another delightful redhead, I figured it had been a while since I did some Gojyo.

Go get some.

If you like that kind of thing.

=^..^=

Then, you know, I'm on a roll.

Here's what happened half-way though my color... it looked funky.

Here's the finished item. Gojyo always brings a little color to my world.

Tee hee!
=^..^= fuzz fuzz fuzz...
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   Abduction!
Wonder where I am?

I've been watching Advent Children over and over and over again...

I've always been a Reno (and the rest of the Turks) fan. But the movie has made me a little rabid. There's this... thing. That they do. It's so funny.

Yeah.

Man, tell me when you've all seen it. Then I won't be spoiling...

But they're so damn funny. Classic boke and tsukomi, with the added advantage of being hot and cool at the same time.

Whee!

Now if you'll excuse me, the mpgs are calling me.

=^..^= ~~~~~purr~~~~~
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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

   Odd...ities
Well, my last post went wonky, and now I can't edit it either... so, blah.

But I've finally had a chance to use the computer for more than a five minute period (since my brother started working from home, it's been impossible). The trick is to do this stuff at 3 am.

Speaking of stuff, Sanzo is soaked.

Looks like I haven't lost my touch... yet.
=^@,@^=



And look what I just found!

Looks like someone liked one of my pieces enough to stick it into his. Before anyone gets all indignant on my behalf, I figure we're all altering Minekura's images, so why shouldn't he alter my alteration?

It's kind of flattering that my fake gets confused with an original.

Now I'm just waiting for someone to accuse me of plagarizing my own coloring...

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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

   Mission Accomplished!
I just noticed that the google add selected for this site was Comments (1) | Permalink

   When Chibis Attack! Part 18
In Which... Uh... Yeah.

Previous chapters and spin-off can be found here


Well in to Mr.Pillow's dissertation on the benefits of midday nappage, the chibis get up to something.

Though not up to much, as they couldn't reach that high.



"What do you think is in it?"

"Who knows?"

"What are you idiots doing?" Sanzo takes a break from polishing his new gun to find out what the targets are up to.

"Hakkai found a bottle in the bathroom cupboard."

"What's so special about that?" Sanzo takes the bottle from Hakkai and squints at the label, then takes out his reading glasses.

"Drink...me..." He reads the label aloud. The words are inscribed in curly, plot-suggestive letters.




"What do you think it does, Sanzo?" Goku tries to read over his shoulder.

"How the hell should I know? What does it do, Hakkai?"

"I have no idea." Hakkai shrugs his round little shoulders. "There was nothing near it, and I'm sure it wasn't there yesterday when we looked for the way back."

"I bet it doesn't taste very good. Nothing you find under the sink does." Son Goku has learned a few things in his five-hundred-odd years of life, and sometimes he feels the need to share the gems with the youngsters.

"Thwack!" replies the wapping fan.

"Ow!"



A pause prolongs as they study the bottle.

"Well..." Hakkai begins, eventually. "I suppose we could test it on someone."

"We could give it to Goku. His stomach's lead-lined." Gojyo is happy to volunteer... someone else.

"What!" Goku dissents.

"Now, Gojyo," Hakkai interjects. "If it makes him sick, I'll have to put on the little doctor outfit, and you know the stethoscope hurts my ears..."

"Besides," Sanzo shakes the bottle vigorously and squints at it again. "If he does get sick, we'll have to carry his sorry ass all the way to Ten-Chibikkyu."

Goku supports this statement with nods. He nods faster and faster until Sanzo speaks again, at which time he stops, a little motion sick.

Sanzo tosses the bottle back to Hakkai,

"No, there's only one way to do this."

All big, sparkly eyes turn to Sanzo.

"We give it to Kougaiji,"






Kougaiji sits in a pool of sunlight on the floor of the front room. He noticed that his 'Mummy' wasn't feeling too well earlier, and apparently hugs weren't enough to set things right. Being a pro-active little Prince, he has set about making a truly worthy card using paper, felt pens, crayons, cotton balls, macaroni, paste and sparkles. Where he found the container of sparkles is anyone's guess. The cat may have given it to him.

As the Sanzo group look on, he has a slight accident with the sparkles, sending a handful flying into the air.

"Wheeee!"



"Go on Hakkai. Give it to him." Sanzo, ever the efficient delegator of work.

Hakkai's eyes are drawn to the bottle in his hands, found under the sink and bearing such portentous words.

There go the sparkles again: "Hee hee hee!"



"..."



Hakkai's eyes meet Sanzo's with the shine of resolve, "I can't do it, Sanzo. You know I'm against animal testing."

"He's not an animal!" Still, Sanzo recognizes resolve when he sees it. Carefully keeping the Prince of Sparkles out of his line of sight, Sanzo looks for another henchman to do his will.

Gojyo has taken a page from Hakkai's book, and is now studying his shoes, doing research on carpet patterns, and writing his dissertation on drapes.

...Goku, on the other hand, has found his own sheet of paper and joined Team Sparkle.




A united, if adorable, front presented, Hakkai holds out the bottle. "I'm sorry Sanzo."

"He's just too damn cute." Gojyo is Somewhere between Acceptance and Jealousy.




"Goddammit! Do I have to do everything myself?!" Sanzo snatches the bottle from Hakkai, daring anyone to point out that he rarely does anything himself.

The Mighty Mini-Monk marches over to the two playmates, and enters their storm of sparkles. He makes good use of his carefully cultivated concentration, refusing to read Kougaiji's card.

(Which says, 'Dear Mummy,' on the front. The inside may bear overwhelming cuteness.)





"Hey."

Kougaiji blinks up at Sanzo through the sparkles.

"Your Mom said to give you this." The monk lies through his holy teeth.

"Yay!"

While Goku remains thoroughly distracted by the paste and sparkle universe, Kougaiji takes the bottle... and promptly puts it in his jacket.



Dumbfounded, Sanzo watches him for a moment. Kougaiji returns to gluing pasta on the 'Y'.

Patience, it seems, wasn't taught on the same day as concentration in Monking Class.

"You're supposed to drink it, idiot."

"I'm not firsty."

This is all a little too much for Sanzo. "Damn it. If you're not going to drink it, give it back!"

"No!" Cries Kougaiji, jumping to his feet. Paste bottle in one hand, and the other holding his jacket close, Prince Chibi is on the defensive.

"It's fwom my Mummy!"





"..."


"..."


"..."






"... too damn cute."






Kougaiji finishes his card. Goku finishes his... sculpture? Hakkai makes them both clean up the sticky mess.



Defeated and cranky, Sanzo goes down for a nap.


Next Time: The Chibis Share a Lesson in Caring.



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