Monday, November 7, 2005

   When Chibis Attack! Part 19
Dusty old chapters are stored over here


In Which There is Appreciation

Oh, hell. Am I conscious again? I feel conscious. Why does that keep happening? No matter how hard I try, how much I drink, I keep waking up.

That freakish dream is still hanging on in my head, making me check my hair for an impossible occupant prior to sitting. Ha ha, I'm going to tell the shrink about that one.

No, wait...

Maybe not. I'm just not ready for a padded cell yet.

Still on that topic, I can't help thinking I forgot something this morning. Or did I dream that I forgot something, since it's now well into the afternoon? Either way, I don't remember what I forgot.

Isn't that how it always is, though?



It's a little cool in here. Sweater for now, check the furnace for... whenever.

What day is it, anyway?

Calendar's in the kitchen, which is, incidentally, a good place to go, as that's where I keep my r...






Oh... hell.



Two cards. On the hallway floor.



On the left, a careful and intricate work of pasta and sparkle genius. Any six year old would be proud of it. Even sent away to Genius School because of it. Individual fragments of pasta have been colored and arranged to form a mosaic of 'Dear Mummy,' on a soft background of pastel-stained cotton wool. Sparkles coruscate outward from the cotton, as if the sparkly sun were peeping out from behind a delicate cloud. A cloud that proclaims 'Dear Mummy,' to all the earth.

On the right, a... sculpture?

If a maddened cow had eaten Seigfried and Roy, it might have passed something like this.




I need a drink.




Squat to see if the cards are stuck to the floor. Glance around: No one. Nevertheless, carefully lift one card in each hand at precisely the same time.

"D' you like it? Huh? Huh? I named it Mount Sparkle!"

"Do you wike it?"

Flop down against the wall, brief grasp on reality snapped like a twig.



Set each card by its respective chibi, each one now immersed in explaining the features of his respective card. Nod appreciatively, offer non-specific commendation, accept my fate. Push the side of Mt. Sparkle when instructed, causing more sparkles to fountain out of the top. Open Kougaiji's card, admiring the lovely still life of a fruit bowl within, and the little poem about apples.

Prepare non-partisan speech. Recite.

"You've both done such a lovely job. I'm sorry I was upset earlier." I was just too sober, I would like to say, but the card-accepting process is a delicate one. The last thing I need is more chibi-tear flooding due to under-appreciation of crafts. I doubt I have enough absorbent materials left.



"It's okay! All better?" Kougaiji adorably attempts to check me over, possibly for infestation, possibly for hidden candy.

"Yes. Yes, I am." I lie the lie. Though, strangely enough, I do feel... different. Perhaps it's the paint fumes.

Perhaps happiness is not unlike being a little high.





"Oh, that's nothing anyway. You should see Sanzo when he's cranky." Goku pauses in thought, idly tapping Mt. Sparkle, causing the sparkle flow to obliterate a pasta village on its slope. "Actually, Sanzo's always cranky. I mean when he's cranky - er. You know, shootin'-stuff cranky. You're way better that Sanzo when he's seriously trying to kill us all."

My mind races through the tangle of diction, attempts to decipher the possible meanings, and throws cogitative hands in the air.

"Uh... thanks." I think... maybe.

"No problem."

"Hugs!" Kougaiji is a chibi of few words. It's a quality to be admired in princes, who sometimes let the standing-on-high-things pre-battle speech get a little long. The little guy finally knows what he wants, I guess.



What? Was that character development? That's just wrong. Leave the character development to the people whose lives have plot, that's what I say. I'll just stick to... uh...



What the hell... I have two arms, which allows for inarguably equal hugs,





My mind wanders to 'equal' places that might display the cards. Finding a clutter-free space here is like finding a house in Tokyo: even if it's possible, it's going to cost you. So, move my grandmother's picture, or stop using the stove?

"Awww... isn't that cute!" Hakkai has found a camera and thoroughly blinds everyone with the flash.



Do chibis even show up in photos?

Never mind. I'm sure they're terribly photogenic.



"Damn! I totally should have made a card..." Gojyo, hug-deprived again, kicks the ground and jams his hands into his pockets.




Sigh.




"Well, Gojyo... I guess I could fit you..."

Trying to de-hug Goku and Kougaiji is proving difficult, even beyond the Lil' Prince's general staticky-sock clinginess.

"Hey... why are you guys all sticky?" Gojyo once again forgotten, I try to salvage my arms.




"Oh no!" I've learned that Hakkai saying 'Oh no!' is a general preface of doom. Life is just full of these little lessons. "I made them clean up the front room, but not..."

"Man, you're covered in glue!" Gojyo is helpfully yanking on Goku for all he's worth, to a refrain of 'Ow, my arm!' and other classics.

"Come on, Kougaiji, you need a bath!" Hakkai's efforts to dislodge Prince Chibi are being hindered by said chibi's refusal to let go.

"What the hell is all this noise?" Here comes Bed-Head Sanzo to save the day. Or not. Most likely not, from the sleep in his eyes and scowl on his face. "What have I told you about getting covered in stuff, you stupid monkey? Use your goddamn head!"

"Thwockitch!"




The Fan, its use inevitable, is now connected to Goku's head. Sanzo, desperate to free his beloved Fan, puts one foot on Goku for leverage... and stays there.

The mild complaints of the others are now joined by a harmony of blasphemous and pejorative cursing.

This is what I get for getting down to floor level.





"Kougaiji."

"Yes, Mummy?"

Shudder.




"You need a bath. Let go of me, and go with Hakkai."

"Okay..." He lets go... but remains attached, as per the Chibi Rules of Physical Comedy.

Resist the urge to shake arms violently, whack against the wall, scream, etc.

Use now partly-freed hands to pull my sweater off over my head.

"Hey, at least we get a show! Aw... she's wearing a shirt under it..."

"I would hit you if a could." Despite his hindrances, Sanzo still makes a valiant effort to pugilize Gojyo... rendering the two of them even more stuck.



Pick up sweater, chibis and all. Toss into the bathroom.

"You deal with it."

"Right! Won't be long." Calls out Hakkai's chipper voice, denying all appearances.

Close bathroom door.

I need to wash my hands. And change. And put these cards somewhere.

Ready, set, go! Dammit...

Feel free to make your own Team Sparkle shirts. You know I'm gonna.
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