Friday, January 6, 2006

   When Chibis Attack! Part 24
Doesn't make sense? Read the previous chapters.

Part 24: In Which There Are Arrangements

The little creeps are perversely quick about cleaning up and herding me to the couch. I feel like an elephant surrounded by fluffy little cats... that will eat me if I trip. Though given the size of the meal they just ate, I doubt they'd have room.

Flop gracelessly on couch. Gaze with resignation at the piles on piles of books littering every semi-flat space. Hope for... I don't know, something easy. And clean: I can't say bad words with your huge eyes staring up at me. Easy and clean. Please, please don't pick the Iliad.

Please, please don't pull my hair...

Rearrange Kougaiji, to the tune of "Wuv You!"




Hakkai helpfully holds my hair aside while the Little Prince gets settled... nearly giving me a heart attack due to Unexpected Appearance on Shoulder.* Under 20 Pounds? Does he weigh anything at all?

Or maybe I really am a hunchback...

Please, please don't pick Victor Hugo. I'm depressed enough as it is.





It seems that "on the couch" is Chibi-Speak for "on you" when referring to seating arrangements. Since the upper levels are full, Goku and Gojyo fight briefly over "sides", then crowd so close that "side" becomes a technical term.

I wonder what kind of training one needs to qualify as furniture?

The only chibi with any remaining sense of personal space is Sanzo, who tosses a book at me, then sits on the furthest arm of the couch and opens the paper. I grasp at the notion that there are some personality traits that even this bizarre transformation can't change.



Sanzo's pick from the huge and dusty (despite Hakkai's best efforts) assortment:

... has a kitten on the front.

A kitten. In a tree.





Blink.





"The Little Kitten Who Could," must have been left here by the last 'little people' that ransacked my house. The ones who ate my cards.

"Do you have enough light?" Hakkai plays with the lampshade, wearing it as a hat as he adjusts the bulb.

"Here, I'll hold your drink." Move rum out of reach of Gojyo's 'helping' hands, provoking the addition of, "Dammit."

"This is gonna be great!" Goku repeats, eyes still sparkling wildly.




Anyone left who hasn't gotten his two cents in yet? Eyes right to see if Kougaiji needs to make a comical comment before I start.

"Heeee..."

Well, at least he's quiet. Staring, clingy, ever-present and still static-filled, but quiet.





"What the hell is taking so long? I don't have all night." Sanzo rustles the paper grouchily.

Look at the book.

Don't look at the monk.

Whatever you do, don't look at Mr. Crabbypants. He's got a gun. And he likes kittens.



Sigh.

Even my hallucinations are crazy.

"Once upon a time..."






Footnote:

*UAS or Unexpected Appearance on Shoulder kills hundreds of unfortunate people each decade. Help find a cure for the chibi-afflicted!



It's short this week, simply due to how the chapters break up. I'll try to update soon.

Also, I've started a sequel to this that should be spoiler-free after the next two chapters. Anyone want me to post it here, or should I just post it on the fanfiction site? The rating will be a little higher, since it will involve the full-size characters reminiscing about their time as chibis... I just can't Bowlderize Minekura. Sanzo would kick my ass, dropping F-bombs all the while if I did. So... save the bad language for a rated site and link to it, or save you a click and post it here? Decisions, decisions... Comments?

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