Friday, January 13, 2006

   Chibis Gone Wild! Chapter One.
This is just a taste. I'll be posting this fic over at fanfiction.net, and you can read it there. It's the sequel to When Chibis Attack!, but spoiler free if you've read up to ch.25 of said fic.

And, once again, the characters all belong to the great and wonderous Kazuya Minekura. Except the drunk. She's more mine than I'm willing to admit.

Enjoy!

Chibis Gone Wild!

Chapter 1: Because I Can.



It's a beautiful afternoon in Togenkyo. A few wispy clouds are blown thin, and stretched over the pinkening horizon by the southern wind. The sun rides its golden chariot in their direction: ever westward, into the dusk. Even the lone string of geese cutting a wedge through the clear blue sky travel west by some accident of migration.

Neither Sanzo, nor any of his travelling companions note these forces ofnature urging them on towards their globally important goal.

That's because they're indoors. And, to an individually greater or lesser degree, they are drunk.




"More. Now."

"But sir, don't you think you've had enough?"

"Ah ha ha ha... don't worry, miss. You'll know when he's had enough. You see, his head will hit the table with an unmistakeable 'clunking' noise."

"Hakkai, shut the hell up. Just get me more beer, woman."



It is possible that the gods hadn't considered the effect on the religious inclinations of their followers when they installed Genjyo Sanzo as priest. As an example, the barmaid, once rather devout, is now considering atheism due to her brief encounter with Buddhism's emminent representative. This is not an unusual response.

Sanzo would have been proud to hear it. His Employers, on the other hand, may be a little perturbed*.

That perturbation, at least, would explain the next rumbling from Sha Gojyo - valiently slumped in his chair, piling beer cans in a prophetic replica of yet-milleniums-future Tokyo Tower.

So spake Friar Sand:

"Hey, Sanzo. Remember that chick? Whatshername, you know. The girl.




In a testament to the sheer quantity of alcohol that Sanzo has consumed, he takes a minute to formulate a sufficiently witty reply.

"Unlike you, you perverted Kappa," he eventually declares, "I don't keep a catalogue of everything that looks female along the side of the road. So, no. I probably don't remember."

"No, no." Gojyo continues, unfazed by this carefully assembled rejoinder. "You'd remember her. She had a book you liked."




The brief, yet notable pause recurrs. Then:

"I can't recall anything female, in possession of reading material, of any kind, that I have enjoyed, since the last... oh... lifetime. I'm a monk, asswipe! If it's not a sutra or the paper, it's a waste of my time!"

Sanzo punctuates this statement with a definitive chug of his beer, followed by crushing the can on the table.

In terms of the Drunked Orator, that is Q.E.D..




Still, Gojyo persists in persisting. The doggedness of his train of thought has caught Hakkai's attention, and now he, too, is trying to remember a woman with a book - any book - that Gojyo might have found noteworthy.

Goku continues to eat. This hardly deserves recording, except to note that he is there, and he is alive. Hence, he is eating.




Gojyo-zilla knocks over part of Togenkyo Tower, and then begins to rebuild it. But his speech continues:

"No. You'd remember her. You loved that book. You know the one..."








Far to the west. a jar breaks. A powerful prince turns towards it, eyes widening in terror.

It fell off the shelf. He was nowhere near it.

He certainly wasn't trying to get at the contents.

He didn't try to take the cookies!








But back in Togenkyo, only Gojyo can be heard in the sudden silence.

"You know... the one with Kittens on it."







*Footnote: Then again, rabid atheism is also the most common reaction reported by devout believers upon meeting the Merciful Goddess her/himself, apparently due to his/her wandering hands. Perhaps this is all part of the Plan...




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