Monday, January 30, 2006

   When Chibis Attack! Part 27
Unusually Confused? Answers.

Part 27: In Which the Odd One's Out

In the Flower Garden of Wonderland, everything is out of proportion. Fighting through these huge stalks and leaves, just walking leaves me sweating and breathless. The plants are so supple, they bend with each passing breeze aloft; but they're so enormous, the swaying knocks me off my feet again and again.

Finally, an open expanse! The hilly, dusty earth stretches away, lifeless and gullied and stark.

Then, rumbling like a herd of elephants - planet-sized elephants! - and a mad rush of wind throws me to the ground. When I'm brave enough to look up, the empty plain is dark, eclipsed by an enormous green structure, rising from four wide, black and silver supports.



Hide or scream? My voice is... stuck. And my feet won't go.



Immense, white hands reach down and pluck me from the hilltop. I fight against them, but they draw me up into the great green structure effortlessly.

The galactic elephants re-start their invisible rampage, but this time the wind is left behind, banished outside of the alien green structure.



Giants' faces gaze at me, and I try to hide behind a protrusion. Barely understandable voices boom out, far above my head:

"Thank goodness you saw her!" one colossus says to the other. "I could have hit the poor thing, otherwise."

"Aww..." The other titan leans down over me, and there is no hiding from those golden eyes! Its voice thunders over me from its cavernous mouth, "Can we keep her? Huh?"

"Now, now, they're not pets..."

"Yeah, yeah! We could name her Betty!" Red hair, as thick as ropes, brushes against me, knocking me sideways. I barely keep on my feet.



"It's not a kitten, you moron!" The resounding chastisement of yet another god echoes through my skull. The wind from its white Tool of Divine Punishment almost blows me away, even though its fury is directed against the previous two gods who claimed ownership of me. "It probably already has a name."

Long, white hands once again enfold me, pulling me forwards, raising me up to Olympian heights. Up, into the pounding sun; up, towards yet more immense eyes. Staring at me, through me; I can't get away from them! I wonder what sins are written on me, to be read by those orchid eyes? I'll stop drinking! I'll cut right back! I'll never buy racy bishonen manga again!




Out cry the voices of the Titans of the Back Seat:

"Hey, Sanzo! Can we keep her? Please?"

"I've always wanted a Chibi!"









Sweat-soaked and gasping for breath, I snap upright, nearly lunging out of bed.

Close eyes. Breathe. Breathe again.

One more breath...

"Hewp!"




Kougaiji is tangled in my hair.

Untangle.

Give him a vaguely sympathetic look. Graciously accept proffered hugs.

Flop backwards, and slip into the dreamless sleep of Qualified Furniture.




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