Wednesday, May 31, 2006

   When Chibis Attack! Part 35
Previous Chapters are archived here. They may be helpful, since there's some plot in this chapter. Unbelievable, I know.

Part 35: In Which a Plot Surprisingly Appears

Hakkai's right about afternoon naps. Or midday naps. General periods of unconsciousness: it's all good.

Strange, to wake up gently. No pounding headache, no alarm ringing, no smell of smoke, or even shouting. If someone brought me coffee in bed now, this would be the third best day of my life.



Wait patiently.

Looks like I'll have to get my own coffee. Oh well.




Where are those little buggers, anyway? Usually they're in my face the moment I wake up. Quite the delay in action, here.

Maybe they've gone.



I'm sure they would have said goodbye first. Kougaiji would, anyway. Probably with tears, and a lovely card. Hakkai, too. It's the polite thing to do.

They can't have gone.



And even if they have, that would be fine. I doubt that any real trouble will come from this morning's brush with mental health, but still... I don't want to get caught harboring pint-sized fugitives.

They're a pain in the ass. I hope they're gone.

Either way, I hope someone made coffee.





Voices from the kitchen. Not gone, then.

Funny, isn't it, how sometimes you don't realize how tense you are until you suddenly relax?

So, what's in the kitchen that's more important than annoying me?




"If we must join forces to escape this bizarre prison, then so be it: I will work alongside you on this occasion. But make no mistake, Sanzo Party, I will never give up my obligation to take that Sutra!"

Who the hell is that?




"Well, who says we want to work with you?" Gojyo is visible even from the hall, sitting in the fruit bowl, picking his nose. He flicks it toward the speech-giver. "You're no fun, anyway."

"Fun? Fun. You truly have no sense of the magnitude of the issues involved, do you? For all of us, the whole world is waiting to see which group will bring about the future. Yet, all you can think about is -"




Poke head around corner.

"Who the hell is that?" Chibis on the counter may know. They're better armed than usual, which is to say that Gojyo has acquired a complicated scythe-thingy that appears to be Nerf in nature. He swings the orange foam crescent idly back and forth, and stops picking his nose long enough to point at the fridge.




The fridge isn't speaking. Fridges don't talk.

"Ye gods!" cries the fridge. "What is that?"

On the other hand, I suppose a human being may seem to be a bit of an oddity to a talking fridge. I've never thought of it from the fridge's perspective before.

"Hello, Mr. Fridge... or Refrigerator, whichever you prefer..." Should we shake handles?

"Up, you silly old sot." Sanzo points above the fridge.

Which makes more sense than a talking fridge. But then, who am I to say?



Stand on toes. Look on top of fridge.

Lock eyes with -



Kougaiji.



"Oh." I eloquently observe. "Hello, little guy."

Just Kougaiji. No problem here.

"What manner of creature... it's not a shikigami, but so enormous!" He pokes my nose with a rather pointy finger.




"Ouch." Rub my poked nose: Something's not right here. "What are you doing on top of the fridge, anyway? The cookies aren't up there."

"It speaks intelligibly. Hm... Perhaps this is an inhabitant of this strange land."

"Uh... and why are you talking to yourself?"

"He always does that," Hakkai answers for the orating Prince. "especially when there's Plot going on."




"Listen, oh Great Beast!" Kougaiji intones from Fridgetop. "I am Kougaiji, son of Gyumaoh. It is vital that I return to my kingdom. Assist me, and you will be rewarded. Hinder me, and you will pay."

A little ball of fire forms in his hand.





Oh God, I hope the man in that truck didn't get my plate number!




"Gah! Wait!" Grab a pot lid from the drying rack, and hold it up as a shield. "What's going on? Sanzo, what did you clowns do to him?"

Sanzo glances up at me from his seat on the kitchen table, where he has been reading, smoking, and presumably watching the fun.

"We de-squeaked him. Obviously."

"Well, re-squeak him, dammit! He's a fire hazard!"

"Ah ha ha ha..." Hakkai's Laugh of Impending Doom makes my heart sink.

"We're not quite sure how..."

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Brand New Fan Art for When Chibis Attack!

Rexhia over at Fanfiction.net did a gorgeous piece of Kougaiji and the Infamous Apple. She also has a deviantart.com account under the name Jirikira, but neither she nor I know how to link to it...

Go see the Adorable Cuteness!
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