Monday, August 7, 2006

   When Chibis Attack! Part 39
Eventually this series will only be posting over here. If you enjoy it, you might want to change your bookmarks.

Part 39: In Which There is a Monster


At unfortunately sober times likes this, I generally like to drink. But right now, the fridge holds disturbing memories along with my rum.

So, at unfortunately prolonged sober times, like this, I generally turn to my cat.

In the Basement.



"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..." Doesn't everyone say that when they're looking for their cat?

The nakedly dangling light-bulb is already on. Did I forget to turn it off last time? The stairs are so creaky.

She had better be down here.




Though I'll feel a little guilty if she is.

Unless the first thing she does is scratch me.

Which she does.

Of course.



"You're such a mean kitty." Persist in scritching of ears until cat gets bored with bloodletting. Purring may be heard, but that is debatable.

Sigh.

Flop onto discarded furniture, and observe the Historic Laundry Heap.



It moves.



Do not scream.

Try not to scream, anyway. Not loudly.

"Ah!" Said in a regular speaking voice. This is the scream of someone who doesn't want to be heard by the monster, but would like to be heard by, say, a passing policeman or superhero.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

Oh, no! Not only have the great heaps of filthy clothing spawned a new form of life, they've eaten Hakkai and absorbed his vocal cords! The horror! the horror!




Try to pick up cat in preparation for a panicked dash to the stairs and safety.

The cat does not approve of my tactics.

"Owtch." Again screamed quietly, this time while sucking on fingers.

"I'll get you a bandaid." Laundryzilla offers helpfully.

"No thanks. Running away, you see."

"Um... would you mind at least taking the bandaid with you? Bloodstains are rather hard to get out, you see."

Concede to the demands of Laundryzilla.

Who turns out to be Hakkai, in a laundry suit.




"What on earth are you doing?"

Hakkai rubs the back of his head self-consciously. "Laundry. Since I was doing ours, I thought I would do yours as well. But there's... quite a bit..."

The heaps are the size of Big people, let alone Little ones. Or at least, they were. They appear to have been shrinking, against all laundry sense.

"Wow. Thanks. But you don't have to... I mean, that's way too much..."

"Oh no!" Hakkai smiles brightly. He's wearing a little miner's helmet with a nice, bright light on it. The better to spot stains with, I suppose. "I just do a little at a time. Any job is manageable if you break it into cute little parts. Like only washing things with polka dots, for instance. Polka dots are cute."




That... should have made sense.

"Are you sure the fumes aren't getting to you?" Asked gently, in case of madness. "Maybe it's time for a break?"

Hakkai looks up at me, blinding me momentarily, then over at the piles. He shrugs.

"Maybe you're right. I'll just fold this load, and leave it... for now." That 'for now' is menacing, somehow much more so than Sanzo's. It's as if he's swearing to vanquish an old nemesis.

"I'll help." It's the least I can do for the Laundry Slayer.




Folding big trousers and little trousers, big shirts and little shirts, seems awkward without conversation, and so I venture:

"Cat looks happy."

"Oh yes, she's quite content."

Static from the fabric jolts old brain cells to life.

"Hey... don't you have a pet?" Bite the collar, fold the arms in, shirt in half... "A flying, white... dragonmobile, or something?"




The look on Hakkai's face catches me off guard. His big eyes seem almost tearful, and his hair flops down.



Crap. Wrong subject.



"Yes." He answers before I can think of a segue to a new topic. "Jeep. My little white dragon."

"Um." Skillfully direct the conversation in both an enlightening and encouraging manner.

"But the transformation that made us all so small and cute... well, it was too much for him, I suppose.

"I'm so sorry."

I really am. Here he's been taking care of my kitty, and his own little fuzzy friend is... is...




Hakkai holds out a hand. I consider hugging him, until I notice a bit of fluff and metal on his palm.

Like a motorist passing a traffic accident, I can't stop myself from looking closer.

"Poor little Jeep. It seems that he was so cute to begin with that further chibification could only do this."

Collectable Keychain.



Fight down the desire to pet the fuzz. It looks so soft...

"That's... awful.

"He certainly thinks so."

"Huh? You mean..."

"Kyuuuu!"



The keychain dragon sits up on Hakkai's palm, and flaps its minuscule wings.

"He rather misses being able to transform without the others playing with the toy car. And it's difficult, being so small. I have to make sure he doesn't get blown away or stepped on, so... Well, we're getting by." Hakkai's shiny, serious eyes meet mine. "But we really need to get back to Chibigenkyo."



Words fail me.

Reach out a finger. Pet tiny dragon.

It purrs. Much louder than my evil cat. And it doesn't bite or scratch me.

"Of course." I sigh. "Poor little thing."

"Ah ha ha ha... it's not all bad. He's enjoying eating your houseflies."

"Good. Just... good."



Being back in Britain was... good. But it contains far too many of my relatives for my personal comfort.

Best way to maintain family harmony? Live on different continents.

It's good to be back. Well, back from back on the back...

You know what I mean. It's good to unpack.
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