Monday, August 21, 2006

When Chibis Attack! Part 40
I really will be only posting this at this spot on fanfiction.net. Soon. Really...

Part 40: In Which Comeuppance Comes

Fold, fold, and fold some more. Socks and spare robes and more socks and boxer shorts with comical hearts on them.

"So... what brings you down here?" It's Hakkai's turn to start a conversation. "I thought you didn't like the basement."

I had almost forgotten my troubles among these warm towels, but here they come: like mental Mongol Hordes rushing back across the Ural Mountains of my consciousness.




"Sanzo. Holding my computer hostage. Won't go away."

"Ah. I see..." Hakkai ponders. Try to think of a new topic, since the turn has reverted to me. I wonder how we keep score?

Hakkai speaks up abruptly, saving me the effort:

"I... think I know a way." He hesitates, then sighs with resignation. "I hate to do this to a fellow chibi, but he deserves some punishment for poor Kougaiji."




Sanzo. Punishment. Good.





"Yes?" Do I sound a little too hopeful?

Hakkai pulls a blanket out of the dryer, then motions me over. He whispers in my ear.





It might work.

Just might.

He gives me the blanket, and smiles an evil, yet lovable, smile.

"Do your best."




He will kill me.

Sanzo may be small, but so is my cat, and my cat nearly kills me regularly. And she doesn't have opposable thumbs.

He's definitely going to make my life miserable.

Which he's already doing, so...




That stream of thought flows inevitably down to the Sanzo-based consequences of Hakkai-based ideas. The feet, however, are following quite a different track, inexorably climbing the stairs, transferring my body from room to room until the target is visible. The feet, having finished their part in the conspiracy, pass the torch to the hands, which spin the computer chair, Sanzo and all, to face me.

'I've done my bit.' says my body to my brain. 'Now it's your turn'

'...the hell?' replies my brain muzzily, still not quite with the new agenda.




Fortunately, Sanzo knows his lines.

"Problem?" He stares icily into my blurry eyes.

The body decides that the brain still isn't ready for its job and acts on its behalf:

Hold up the warm, fuzzy blanket.



From it's comfortable back seat, my brain critiques this: 'Like that'll work. Prepare to receive sarcastic comments.'

My body responds by suggesting that if my brain can do any better, it should get off its ass and do some talking.




Sanzo is silent.

His eyes are wider than ever, like a deer in the headlights, or a suspect on 'Cops'.

This is unexpectedly optimistic.

Wave warm blanket.

The encouraged brain finally steps up to the plate with Hakkai's words:

"I'll snuggle you!"





Sanzo's face loses all color. He backs away, kicking a few books off the chair in his haste.

"You... you wouldn't!"

Unfold blanket. Stretch it out. Shake lightly.

"Blanket. Warm! SNUGGLY!"

Sanzo screams like a little girl and runs away.





Problem solved. Ha ha.


Caligatio-Umbra over at Deviantart did some fanart for this, including a page or two of manga for the first chapter and a pic of Kougaiji that is very cute indeed.

And Kougaiji has something to say to you. By way of me. He needed hewp.
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