Wednesday, August 30, 2006

   When Chibis Attack! Part 41
Any day now, I'm going to start only posting this over at fanfiction.net. As soon as I find a way of editing it so that their document editor doesn't eat my formatting. And once I'm done staining my deck. Dagnabit.

Part 41: In Which One is Waylaid

Toss the Victory Blanket on the couch. Sit.

Move kitten picture to outside storage. Reboot.

Play Free Cell industriously while Searching for Inspiration.

My search for Inspiration reveals...

Inspiration is hard to come by.



Distraction, however, is easily found.

In his sleep, Kougaiji keeps trying to hug things: my files, my electric pencil sharpener, my mouse. It is rather inconvenient.

"Ssnrrrk... I could wun the cookie factowy for you, Sir! Zzzznck... 'm good wif peopull... suppwy my own wabour... Mmmmmsnrk..."

Don't ask. Don't even think. Just try to cope.

Look for a hug soother. A sacrificial hug-target. Something huggable.

Hm. Blanket.




The blanket moves.




Dammit! Why do inanimate objects keep going all animate on me? Is this the next stage, beyond cute little men?

Reach for the broom.

Blanket drops off the couch, advances toward me.

Raise broom.



Blanket sprouts a head.

A head with two antennae and a rather indecent look on its face.

Gojyo manages to get enough of the blanket under control to attempt a pose. He gives me a sly look.

"Hey, babe. I hear you're looking for someone to snuggle."



Consider following through with Operation: Broom Smacking.

Gojyo is unaware of my strategic broom maneuvers:

"Sanzo's just not the snuggling type." He continues, leaning against the chair. Which swivels, causing him to become even more tangled in the blanket. "But I am. And, hey! It just so happens that I have this nice, warm blanket..."

I know that blanket is clean. I saw Hakkai take it out of the dryer.

So how does Gojyo manage to make it seem dirty?




Roach or not, I can't bring myself to smack him with a broom. Not quite.

Look for something else to smack him with. I need that blanket for Operation: Hug Freedom.

Unless...




"Ah! Clumsy me!" Gojyo tries to sound innocent. Fails miserably. "I've gotten all tangled up. What would I do if someone, say, tried to snuggle me?"

Pick Gojyo up.

Ignore his waggling eyebrows.

Wrap blanket around him as tightly (and quickly) as possible.

"Eek!" He says in a falsetto voice, grinning hugely.

"Eek is right." I mutter.

Fold the blanket over his head, turn and spin, making a Gojyo Gyoza with blanket pastry.

Put entire package in Hugging Range of snoring Kougaiji.

"Yarg! Wait! Wrong person!" Kougaiji, still in the land of Infinite Cookie Space, attaches to Gojyo, or at least enough of the blanket that Gojyo can't get out.




"What?" I, too, can fake an innocent voice. I, too, am very bad at it. "I heard you needed a hug."

"But... but..." comes the plaintive voice of the captive within the blanket.

There is duct tape in my desk drawer. Duct tape is Life's Mute Button. Do I need the duct tape?

"I guess this isn't too bad..." Gojyo mumbles, lost in the huge blanket, and now under the full onslaught of a sunbeam. His voice grows sleepier by the minute, hardly even threatening by the time he mumbles: "But if he drools on me, there's going to be Trouble!"




Goku enters the room.

"Oh, hey - is it nap time already?" He asks, climbing up onto the desk.

Gojyo doesn't answer. A huge snot bubble blows out of one corner of the blanket in time to his snores, negating Hakkai's earlier careful washing.

This is answer enough for Goku, who claims an un-snotted piece of the blanket for himself and curls up.



"Yes, I suppose it is nap time." Hakkai muses from Customary Heart Attack Position on my right shoulder. Maybe he's not a chibi at all. Maybe he's a parrot, and he thinks I'm a pirate.

I do have a great deal of respect for Captain Morgan...




And so, one ridiculous paperweight becomes four paperweights, and the snoring is once again harmonious, with the single exception of Kougaiji's on-going dream.

"Ffffnnnrrr... Cookie yiewd up ten pewcent! Hmmmmm..."

Pretend to work. Return to Free Cell.



Sanzo pops in and out of view on occasion, obviously searching for something. The magnifying glass and Sherlock Holmes outfit are a dead giveaway.

He won't find it, though. Not with the evil little smile on Hakkai's peacefully sleeping face.

No, it'll take another plot event or two before he finds that sucker. Ha!





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