Saturday, March 5, 2005

   yays! i feel all better now!! whooooo!!!
welp....sleep made me feel lots better...^^....im happy this mornin...dont know why...lets hope i stay this way all weekend yes?......but im kinda sad....i ran out of moose yesterday...so my hair is gonna be all frizzy and shit...bummer....*sigh*...and mom took my eyeliner! damnit....okee...so this mornin started out kinda saddin....but...hapy nonetheless^_^ welp...ummm....yah thats it for now......laters! *waves*
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   *sigh* my head hurts ~_~
why? that was the most randomest thing ever...i was feelin okee when all of a sudden my head started to hurt...ow...~_~ it hurts alot....i should prolly get to sleep then huh?....but.....i had so much stuff to do....hey...i finally painted my pic of the wolves in front of the moon.....its pretty good...i was expecting it to come out all ugly and wierd....but no...it was good....so...im amazed at it...im really glad i didnt mess up....now *sigh* lets just see what my teacher gives me on it....prolly a low grade...like always....gawd i cant fuckin stand her....*SIGH* anywayz....imma go to bed now...ugh....pary i feel better yes? thanx...laters
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Tuesday, March 1, 2005

   *sigh!!!* welp...lets see...
damn....well....spoke with that dude...and he does have a crush on my...but....he just wants to know for fun if i like him or not...whats that mean?.....i dont get it....he was like "i was just wondering if yu did.....i want to know for fun"...anywayz....ive told him that i had a crush on him...he mightve taken it as a joke...but i was serious....*sigh* anywayz...next time he signs online ill tell him....and lets see what happens....cuz i asked him..."what if i said i did have a crush on yu? then what?" and he said he didnt know...well...i want to know what might be...lol...im so weird....why?...why do i feel this?...i freakin hate it...i dont want to like him!! i dont want any of this!! ever since that day he said it ive been confused...and yet..this feelin i like....its nice to feel something other then sadness....and thats if i really feel it and its not something im doin cuz i want ppl's pitty. *sigh*....if yu werent aware of this...i tend to mimick others...heh...not perposly of course...its just....i dont know...ive been analyzin myself....as if i was my own therapist and dicovered that i might have a heavy case of stress and depression...but i hide it all and am unaware of that.....maybe i am right....but them....i cant really say i am...cuz yu know what they say....when in depression yu try to rationalize things...anyhooo!!! im just goin on and on and on....soooo..ill stop for now...laters on and all that read this! bai bai^^ *waves*
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Saturday, February 26, 2005

   ...okee....wow...
things have been a little hectic these past few weeks....ive fallin "in like" (lol) with alotta ppl...ppl from school....online....yah....ive decided to let all these strange feelins just happen.....yu know?.....ive never had this many crushes on ppl....ive never thought i might love someone....these things are so new to me....its stupid i know to make a big deal....but....its all i think about.....lol....i dont know what the fuck i just said....well....anyhoo....forget all that.....shit....im gettin sick again.....+_+....i just got over being sick last week....ugh....pisses me off!!...>"<.....any-fuckin-way.....*sigh*....i dont know what to say.....okee...welp...laters
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Sunday, February 20, 2005

   yup

In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything
because your eyes are covered up by tears! You
are constantly hurt and depressed... No one
seems to understand how you feel because
everyone is scared to get close to you... You
long to be able to reach out and tell someone
everything, and all of your problems... But you
have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to
want to hear what you have to say. You've been
hurt many times that you don't seem to have any
tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an
endless river flowing... You've started to hide
and bottle up all or your problems and
feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go
away... You want company, but at the same time,
you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your
room where you can just be alone and try to
throw away all of your aching pains. You're
dark and mysterious and people like you for
that reason. Even if you think you're all by
yourself in the dark, someone is always there
with you. Your special someone wants to admit
and show their feelings towards you, but
they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out
more and enjoy life because, it is far too long
to frown your way through :)


What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (With Pics, See All Results!)
brought to you by Quizilla
....lets see if it works now....
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   does it work?

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

   *sigh*
yu wont believe this!...i think...i am growing emotions for him....i wait for him.....and i get all happy when hes online.....i dont want to like him....but then...something inside me....deep down inside....i want to....and sometimes.....i feel so sad that even though i dont want him....i do....i want him to love me....omfg....why?!....is it flattery like li-chan said?.....do i just want him to love me cuz he said he did and no one has ever said that to me?....i need someone to talk to....but when i try i cant....am i afraid of pain like he said?.....am i denying my feelings?!....why?!...*sigh*....if i admit it will it all be okee?...if i say i have feelings for him would that make me feel better?....no?yes?....maybe?.......hopefully?.....yu know that song?from bowling for soup? "almost"?...i like that song....alot.....i love that song....its my song....lol....i always exaggerate on this shit....*sighs*....i need someone to care for me....untill then....ill lose myself in manga or maybe anime...which evers easier....laters all!
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Saturday, February 12, 2005

   sick....ugh...
this aint cool....being sick and all right after i just ogt over it....this sux....and some ppl bugg the shit out of me to update.....=_=..yu know who yu are!....lol..jk....or am i?...>.> <.< >.< lol....well......so......NIPPLES!!!!.....lmfao!!....okee....happy?....laters!
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Monday, February 7, 2005

   my emotions have been everywhere this week.....
so!! ive felt happy...sad....confused....love?....and AWE....lol.....ive felt more emotions this week than i do in months....lol......i heard shuros voice...awe....cute....g2g...laters..
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Saturday, February 5, 2005

   omfg!!!.....not again......this time its worse....
hes fallin for me....but how....and this is a different guy btw....he likes me alot....which....i dont know how i feel about him...ugh....the more i talk to him i think the more i like him....like when he said he was jokin my heart got all sad....like i wanted him to like me....so whats that mean?....i dont know....this is why i dont do love....ugh....happy shuro?!i added a flippin post!! -walks away agrily and confused-

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