Monday, August 29, 2005

ok i know alot of u r thinking im sum bitch and all that because of cuddys post but belive me its not at all like that..

heres the whole story...

ok well my bitchy mother came back and then in the morning she was going to my fathers job....then my dad said to go with her bc he dont trust here to be alone so i had no choice but to go..and when im there i have no way to call jj(cuddy) because i cant tie up the phones and i dont have a cell phone so thats out of the question...

well i get there and my dad says ohh u gotta go up to kims and get sum stuff 4 me and by kims i mean upstate to her house....so i was like no and he was like well u cant fucking stay here its too busy...and i was like so take me home but nobody wanted to take me home..they all said u gotta stay with ur mother and watch her............

so then i end up going all they way up here..and they turn around and go stay up here and naturaly the point that i dont do shit came up and how all i do is stay with cuddy so they said stay up here...i was like no i dont wanna but they were like no stay..ur dad said 4 u too and ur staying bottom line..

so i ended up staying over here..and i had no way to call cuddy because everytime i do or say or go sumwhere they wwanna know wat happened or wat ever the hell it is..so if i wanna talk to him thell listen in and all that..like they walk around where imtalking of the come bather me and then i only end up talking to him 4 like 5 secs and i dont say nothing to him because i cant say wat i really wanna say because they question every god damn thing...

i wanna tell him everything but like i said i cant and belive me u all knoe wat kinda person i am i dotn keep nothing 4rom cuddy i tell him everything no matter wat but i dont want ppl in my buizness 1ce they hear sumthing its like ohh go tell the owrd angel this angel that..blah blah fucking blah.....

so now im stuck not being able to call him and thenmy nefew devons a spoiled little asshole...like ok let me give u an example...

im stiining down petting the cat and devon is siting down playing with like his modle cars and shit then i go upstairs to g on the computer and then he follows me and starts to be all nice like ohh watcha doing...and im like oh nothing im going on the comp thats it...and hes like oh ok and hel leaves..then i try to read my pms that cuddy sent me and he reads them well actually not reads them but u know he tries to read them s then i cant read them or reply to them because hes all up in my bizness..then u know ill get up to go get a drink or go t the bathrom and he fucking jump on the comp..and then when i say ohh i was on hes like oh hold on i gotta do sumthing..ill be fast..so im like no get the fuck up i was on..hes like no im on its my computer and im wanna go on it..so then he only goes on 4 like 5 mins and gets off..so i come back upstairs and i wanna go on and hes like oh im doing sumthing u cant go on and when really the comp is shut dow..so then i tell his mom amd she lets me get back on and all that but he omes and goes ohh my moms said this and that and bitches like oh im aways on the comp and gets on my fuckin nerves..so im like u know wat take ur fucking comp..

u know wat thats not even the story put it like this wat ever i wanna do he want to do b4 me like he wont be using the comp but as soon as i wanna use it ohh now he want to use it hes just a spoiled litte fucking ass who dont now how to share..

ok so now heres wat it comes down to i end up haveing no way watso ever to contact cuddy with out sum 1 trying to get in to it u know...

and i know u all r thinking that im a clod hearted bitch who dont care about him but tell me u guys knoe how all i do is talk about him my whole fucking life revolves around him...im so in love with him i think im crazy i mean the things i got threw 4 him u dont even know the half of it...

ok im not sure if ne of u actally know wat its like to be in love but imma just say wat i feel..

u ever love sum 1 so much that ur heart flutters when u think of them dispit the bad times?

cuddy has no lie maade me who i am today he showed me the world im a veiw i never thought i would see ..like ppl spend ther whole life looking 4 that 1 special person..going threw 1 person to the next but me i was lucky enuf to find him and even though it was at a young age i still just had that feeling..

i knew cuddy was the 1 4rom the 1st kiss...not even when i 1st saw him the way he made me fell when he looked at me was unlik ne think i ever feel..he was like evrything i ever hoped 4..he didnt love me 4 my looks.. just bcaus of my personality.. everytime i saw his smile my heart skipped a beat..i lost my words my world was spinning i couldent conrtol myself...

i knew deep down inside he would be the only 1 4 me and i know allotta ppl say ohh its puppy love or im too young but u knoe wat ur never too young 4 love...if u find that 1 person u knoe it and feel it..u wanna spend every second with him...

i dont even know its too hard to explain but belive cuddy they way u mke me fell is extremely herd to explain in words i can only show u and to do that thers not enen enuf things that i could do or even enuf time to do them...

I GAVE U MY HEART FREE OF WILL
I GAVE U MY SOUL,
I GAVE U MY LIFE
I GAVE U ME.
ALL I EVER ASKED IN RETURN WAS 4 U TO LOVE ME THE BEST WAY U CAN AND STAY TRUE TO ME..I TOLD U STAY BY MY SIDE 4EVER...

C WHEN UR IN LOVE IN MY VEIW AS TIME PASSES U DEVELOP CHAINS NOT CHAINS OF RESTRAINT BUT CHAINS OF LOVE..THINGS THAT BIND U TOO THAT PERSON NO MATTER WAT.. THINGS THAT KEEP GIVING U HOPE..AND ALWAYS STICK WITH U THREW GOOD AND BAD THINGS THAT ONLY U CAN NOTICE AND FEEL..THINGS THAT U FEEL WHEN ALL GOES WRONG.
ITS SO HARD TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL DEEP INSIDE U KNOE ASK CUDDY THERES TIMES WHEN I DONT SHOW LOVE BUT THE PROBLEM IS THERS NO WAY TO EXPRESS IT..ALL I CAN DO IS BEE HERE AND TRY MY BEST TO MAKE THEM COME OUT..CUDDY I LOVE U THOSE WORDS RNT JUST WORDS I CANT SAY THEM TO NE 1 DO U REMEMBER HOW SCARED I WAS TO EVEN SAY IT TO U HOW I CRIED WHEN I 1ST SAID IT TO U? ITS BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE U.. NOTHING NOR NO1 CAN TEAR THAT FEELING AWAY..

I LOVE YOU 4ROM THE BOTTOM OR MY HEART TO THE END OF TIME

MY WORDS OF 4EVER WILL LAST..

Angelina loves James FOREVER





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